Top Chef 2: Finally, More Sizzle than Fizzle
And we’re back, after a 14-day
hiatus. We only have 23 contestants left on Top Chef. No, just
kidding. We only have eight. Or is it nine? No matter. We’re down to the
personality stage of the show, the time when this type of reality TV becomes entertaining
and, more importantly, critical to the ratings. Things have finally begun to heat up in the kitchen.
In case you’ve forgotten any of this eminently forgettable cast, let’s recap who’s left:
Michael: Dude’s dude, dude. Can’t cook, but he's good TV. They’ll keep him around until he breaks something expensive.
Elia: Foreign accent, quirky glasses, curly hair. Ultimately innocuous; kinda edgy like old-school MTV VJ Kennedy. Can’t win, but they’ll keep her around for the multicultural factor. See: Host, New; Lakshmi, Padma.
Sam: Tool, with a confusing ponytail. Likes to remind people he was voted one of the ten sexiest chefs in NYC. Totally useless. Handsome devil with no purpose. He’ll disappear soon enough, either by getting booted or just by being himself.
Frank: Gruff, older continuing-education type guy. Likes to irritate the whippersnappers with “lessons,” which is boring for them and for us. He had some promise as Top Jerk, but didn’t really live up to it.
Mia: Token black lady. She’s not going anywhere yet, but see above: Elia; nondescript, demographic gold.
Betty: Suzanne Somers lookalike; fireball attitude. She’ll be in the finale because she’s a decent cook and a fantastic monster.
Marcel: He could win every challenge if he wasn’t such a nimrod. He wins immunity this time because he knows how to cut fruit and be nasty about his superior abilities. Prepare for more nimrod next week, and the week after, and...
Remaining dudes: Cliff and Ilan -- minimal airtime.
New host Padma: The reason Salman Rushdie hasn't come out with a book this year. 
Does anyone else miss Miguel, the retarded Mexican guy from last season? Michael, his doppelganger this year, is a lesser chef -- and a lesser bozo -- but maybe a greater diced chunk of trouble. Maybe. Unfortunately, Michael has grown less dangerous in recent episodes. I expected to see him in a drunken Twinkie rage by now. Instead he’s just disrespected, and deservedly so. Where's the drama in that?
It's time to cook on the beach for a
pack of hungry surfers. The contestants are losing their minds over the concrete-block
fire pit. I guess no one has watched The Lost Boys lately. A little seagull egg, a
little vampire blood, a dash of sand, some mortared seashell and salt-water
dressing -- I could win this challenge. Sign me up! I’ve been to
In the end, who cares what a
surfer thinks about eggs cooked over an open flame? Michael's chicken and egg tacos are “mac-a-licious.” Snob-a-licious Marcel tries to
ingratiate himself with the beach bums by calling someone “bro,” and then makes fun
of them behind their backs. Surfers might be dumb, but even they’re not fooled
by those eleven ounces of medium-hold hair gel, bro. If surfers know anything,
it’s weak foam.
Remember Cliff? No? Well, he
should have lost, but didn’t. Forget about him. Frank lost. How on earth, when the producers have final say in the matter of
elimination, does the contestant who’s been the second-biggest jackass get
booted? That’s so antithetical to drama that there’s practically nothing to say
about it.
The best part of the episode: Marcel, the
winner of the immunity challenge, does a victory dance, rubbing his self-glorification in everyone’s face. Now we’re cooking.
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I THINK THAT THIS SHOW IS THE BEST SHOW ON TV IN A VERY LONG TIME I AM CRAZY ABOUT THE STAFF AND SELECTION OF CAST, THEY ARE ALL AWSOME I REALY HOPE THERE IS ANOTHER TOP CHEF TO COME WHEN THAT COCKY MO-FO MARCEL WINS ANYONE WHOS BEEN WATCHING WILL PROBABLY GET MAD BUT I SAY HES THE ONE WHO TAKES THE WHOLE CAKE.I CANT STAND ONLY ONE PERSON ON THE SHOW ITS THAT FOOD MAGIZINE LADY SHE SEEMS LIKE SHE WANTS TO DO EVERYONE EVEN WHEN SHE INSULTING THEM SHE TRIES TO DOWN PLAY IT SHE IS REALY FAKE, THE HOSTES AND THE BIG BALD GUY ARE THE BOMB!!! THEY DONT HOLD ANY PUNCHES ESPECIALLY WHEN IT COMES TO MARCEL AND HIS FOAM
Posted by: ERICA | January 25, 2007 at 01:12 PM