Dancing with the Stars: Not So Fancy Footwork
Dancing with the Stars
Title: "Tangos and Jives"
First Aired: 4/2/07
Last week, former supermodel Paulina Porizkova became the season's first Dancing with the Stars victim, leaving the field of celebrity dancers minus one elegant beauty. For this week's competition, the stars danced either a wholesome American jive or a steamy, sensual Argentinean tango. There were the usual standouts, and some hardcore flops, but absolutely no amazing, jaw-dropping performances. And yet, I couldn’t tear myself away.
Poor Shandi Finnessey. The former Miss USA looked like a wounded cocker spaniel as she came bouncing out to dance. Clearly, her bottom-two ranking last week had a negative effect. She cranked up the wholesome appeal and whipped up an entertaining but rather forgettable jive. I smell another bottom feeding week, unfortunately, but Shandi shouldn’t be going home.
That honor rightfully belongs to Clyde Drexler. There’s not a dancer in the group with more alarmingly sweet charm than The Glide, but the man just can’t bring it. His jive was painfully boring -- no burst of energy, no visible enthusiasm, and hardly any technical skill. Judge Carrie Ann Inaba lamented that Clyde's a top athlete, for crying out loud, so he give us some of that power. Alas, Clyde tried to glide on through, and it will likely get him an exit sign.
Underdog Billy Ray Cyrus also poured out a lackluster tango, but one thing's for sure -- that man should cut his hair. He actually looked respectable with the slicked-back short style, instead of positively frightening. It’s obvious that Billy Ray is having a rough time of it, but props to him for the continued sincere effort. Next time, Billy Ray, try to hide the fact that you’re counting every single step. Let us believe, if only for a moment, that you know what you’re doing.
Laila Ali, the previous dance darling, had a really bad tango night. Her intensity was spot-on, but her presence felt forced and flat, and the performance pretty much blew. The judges concurred, and Little Miss Competitive appeared quite peeved. Thankfully, she didn’t punch anyone out.
The best performances of the night belonged to Leeza Gibbons (who knew the lady could also be a tramp?) and Ian Ziering, who danced a mean jive. They’re no doubt safe from elimination. The cut will come down to Clyde and Shandi. I predict that Miss USA will once again escape by the skin of her dancing shoes.
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