Anderson Cooper Swears There Were No Fisticuffs With Charlie Rose

Just Jared says that news heartthrob Anderson Cooper has issued a joking denial that a few stitches on his face were the result of a fistfight with fellow newsman Charlie Rose. He says they're from the removal of a possibly cancerous growth.

Rose has recently attracted notice for his badly bruised face, an injury he attributes to a simple fall sustained while carrying a laptop.

Obviously, I'm unable to take these statements at face value. I don't want to leap to domestic violence conclusions, though. It could also be a newshound's drinking session gone horribly wrong. I'd blame Steve-O's influence for this, but Steve-O's been in rehab - maybe they're been hanging with Johnny Knoxville and Bam Margera? Are they investigating an underground boxing club? Or maybe it's a prank, possibly arranged in collaboration with Ashton Kutcher?

I pledge to do whatever it takes to find out, unless it means I have to get out of my chair.