"BSG" Scorecard: Putting The Fun In Funeral

I'd be hard pressed to say whether Saul or the Chief is cracking up more spectacularly at this point on "Battlestar Galactica." Tory seems to have jumped on board with the zeal of a convert - with bonus creepy S&M action - and god only knows what's going on with Anders but I'm betting he can't keep up with Saul or the Chief for sheer crazy good times. Even Baltar is starting to look comparatively balanced, and he's getting tossed around the room by a hallucinatory sex robot.

Yet another week goes by that we get nothing much more than an obligatory "by the way, Starbuck still exists and is still crazy" shot, although the preview for next week suggests that we will finally get some payoff on the big tease. Maybe that will give Anders a good chance to storm around, melodramatically talking about how he's nothing but a machine and having some wacky funtime hallucinations. For this week though, we'll just have to count points for 75% of our secret Cylon team.

• Dead Bodies: Surprisingly, 0 (Hey, everyone lived this week! I guess that still happens occasionally.)
• Cylon Freakouts: 2 (Well, really more than that if you count each individual freakout, but I think it's safe to say that Saul and the Chief just have it turned up to 11.)
• Weird S&M Philosophical Ramblings: 2 (Apparently, Cylon girls like it rough.)
• Increasing Suggestions That Baltar Is A Cylon: 2 (So he's leading the Cylonish monotheistic religion, and, oh yeah, his hallucinations of Six can apparently pick him up like a rag doll.)
• Sermons On The Mount: 1 (I'm really looking forward to the point when Baltar sings a rousing chorus of "Let My People Go.")
• Roslin As Cassandra: 1 (It must be exhausting to repeatedly tell people that Baltar is the worst kind of bad news and repeatedly be ignored.)

2, 4, 6, 8... who will we annihilate? A satisfying thing about "Battlestar Galactica" is that no matter how smart a character is, you can trust that they will frequently make bad decisions. No one seems to have the playbook that makes them immune to the stupidity that humans (or Cylons) under pressure inevitably make. The characters are convincingly real enough and fallible enough to be interesting to watch even when not a whole lot is happening in the episode.

The Chief's downward spiral is particularly jarring to observe, because he is, or was, such a reliable nice guy, and yet his anger at his circumstances is entirely understandable. After all, he gave up Boomer because she was a Cylon and married the - let's be honest about this - kind of annoying Callie instead, when it turned out that he was a Cylon all along. That's the kind of thing that's pretty difficult to explain to Admiral Adama over a few shots of whiskey, and even harder to get over. The Chief is my pick for turning himself in as a damn dirty robot, which ought to be interesting to watch.