"American Idol" Liveblog

We're here, we've got burgers and red wine, we're ready to rock with "American Idol." Or was that, mock?

• Wouldn't it be funny if one night Ryan said, "THIS...is Two And A Half Men!" That would be funny, right?
• Is that Meadow Soprano getting the first celeb-in-the-audience shot of the night?
• Ryan makes extra sure the judges know they'll be critiqueing after each number. So Paula doesn't get confused.
• The contstants can choose anything from the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame to sing tonight. I was going to complain about the show choosing KISS for background music, but then David Cook chooses Duran Duran, "Hungry Like The Wolf." His version rocks OK, I guess, but it lacks the coke-era irony you want from a Duran Duran cover. Randy and Simon are underwhelmed, but Paula sez it leaves her with a big appetite. Ugh. Run away, David, run away!
• Is anyone else creeped out by the cellphone ad where Meatloaf's teenaged TV son sings about loving him till the end of time. Wasn't that song about fucking? Now it's about cellphone plans? Is this a microcosm of everything wrong with rock'n'roll in the '00s?
• I thought Syesha might be on the way out but WHOA! That's an I-want-to-stay-on-the-show dress if I ever saw one. But she's going to tackle "Proud Mary" - "by Tina Turner?" Somewhere John Fogerty is having palpitations. But it is the Ike & Tina version of the song. Randy loves it, says she's gotten in the game at the right time. Paula, of course, loves it. Simon calls it a "shrieky" imitation of Tina. Sorry, but I'm with Simon. Ryan concludes the feedback with some leering remark about her hips getting in the game.
• Dreadlocks boy is singing Bob Marley's "I Shot The Sheriff." He sounds good but completely without emotion. It's the song of a fugitive on the run for his life. He sounds like a dorm dude whose girl bogarted the last bong hit. Closing his eyes and raising a fist doesn't make it any better. I think the judges are going to eat him. Randy begins "DUDE." He says it was really karaoke, and there was nothing special about it. EVEN PAULA says she "wasn't crazy about" the performance. But then she says his artistry shines through. Simon: Utterly atrocious! Like a first-round audition massacre...I don't know what you're thinking! The only similarity was the hair. They're beating the crap out of him and Paula tries to stop it. Jason's grinning like he doesn't care.
• Cute David is singing "Stand By Me." It's perfect for his register. But the seagulls on his dark shirt are distracting the hell out of me. Judges mostly love it, although Simon says he could have whistled and he would have sounded better than Jason.

ROUND TWO:

• Rocker David again...."Baba O'Reilly!' Teenaged wasteland! Right song for "American Idol!" And the show is on its game - first shot we see is the synth. He's easing into it. Nice. You can hear the explosion coming. And it comes right with ... teenaged wasteland! And the guitar. Nice to see a Marshall stack on stage too. ... Randy's not so sure. Likes it, but it's weird for him. Paula - I want more Dave Cook. "I'm really humbled to sit here and watch your soul." What?! Simon says "Welcome back David Cook." Myself I think it was only a 7 on the Cook-o-meter...and I still think he just won the whole thing.
• Rascal Flatts are in the house. And we care because?
• Syesha doing "A Change Is Gonna Come" by Sam Cooke. In her high school prom gown. And bigass dangly ear bling. Because that's really appropriate for this anthem of civil rights struggle.She hits all the notes, I guess, but there's something wrong with this girl. Randy didn't love it. Didn't like the way she messed with the song. Paula stands and applauds her, hugging herself, shivery. Paula is a frickin' moron. "You have changed, you are magnificent...welcome to your dreams, Syesha!" Syesha is crying. And W!T!F! Simon agrees with Paula. Oh that's just wrong. But he picks a fight with Randy to make up for it. Syesha's still sobbing. Now Simon's mocking Randy for making her cry!
• Here comes Jason again. "I decided to stick with the Bobs - Bob Dylan." He's singing "Mr. Tambourine Man." Might work. Fighting for his life whether he realizes it or not. AND HE FORGOT SOME OF THE WORDS. He sings Dylan and forgets the words. Goodbye, Jason. Simon: "Pack your suitcase."
• Slimy little panderer Cute David picks "Love Me Tender." He's gonna be awesome on Broadway. But c'mon. He's melting the little girls in the audience right in their seats - you can hear them popping when he goes for the falsetto near the end. Randy: "I like how you were so tender and caressed each word." Say what, Randy? But even Simon says he "crushed" the competition tonight.

So, I'm not even going to liveblog tomorrow night. Because it's a foregone conclusion that Jason is going home. And if he doesn't my head is going to explode.

Comments

[dave]

What the hell is up with the audio ... it's like all vocal mic, with leakage of the band.. Don't they listen to the broadcast?

[saywhat]

im not a little girl and neither is my husband and David Archuleta made both of us melt and our hearts pitter patter last night. his voice is magic. MAGIC!! david cook totally underperformed. i was expecting him to kill it last night but he didnt. and whatever anyone else says, im a jason castro fan. im digging his vibe or something. whenever he sings i feel his soul in my heart. (i love paula for her weirdness)

[Caroline]

Syesha Mercado. There IS something wrong, I agree. But I'm fascinated by her. Her voice is really beautiful. Don't watch her interview clips, don't look at her (though she is lovely to look at), just close your eyes and listen to her voice. All season I have been saying (about EVERYONE) "good job, but I would not pay money to hear her/him sing" but close your eyes, listen to Syesha. I would buy her album, I have downloaded her songs. In the car, or in general, LISTENING to Syesha is actually, surprisingly, pretty special. I'm suddenly not shocked to see her in the final 4.