"Lost" Scorecard: Destiny Is A Fickle Bitch

Okay, it took me about ten minutes to get my eyes uncrossed after that ending. That was a full-tilt boogie, "Lost" style. I think I'm looking forward to seeing the half-baked theories that the internet comes up with almost as much as I'm looking forward to seeing the next episode. Given what we've learned, and what's been hinted at, there are many billions of crackpot theories now available to the obsessive fans. Not that I would have any idea about that kind of thing.

Given what we know about his history, "destiny is a fickle bitch" seems like the perfect motto for Benjamin Linus. I'm surprised he doesn't have it tattooed across his butt. Ben is a man who knows about the winds of fate, and which way they blow, and they are most definitely, err, blowing Locke. Clearly Ben's not exactly excited about losing his slot as the golden boy, but then again he's also probably going to stop getting slapped around by lady luck quite so much. It's a mixed bag. Speaking of mixed bags, what's the score?

• Dead Bodies: 2 (The Kahana crew is dropping like flies! Do we count the doctor again? We counted his body once when it washed up on shore, but he's only now gotten around to the actual dying. Yeah, that's just weird.)
• WTFs?: 2 (Honestly, there were several small wtfs this episode, but I'll just count the big ones, namely WTF is Claire doing in the Jacob's cabin?! and WTF do you mean move the island?!?!)
• Richard Alpert Sightings: 1 (I'm making a category just for unexpected appearances of Richard Alpert in flashbacks/forwards. Seriously, this guy must do nothing but fly around being... unexpected.)
• Prophetic, Creepy Dream Sequences: 1 (Man, that Horace guy was creeeeeeeeeepy.)
• Time-Space Disturbances: 1 (Well, honestly probably more than that, but the really obvious one is the doctor dying several days after his corpse was discovered.)

I don't know about you guys, but I've got a lot of questions. We know now why it was that Locke got the wild idea to go on walkabout, and we know that Alpert was stalking him more or less from birth. What we don't know is what answer Alpert was looking for when he had little Locke pick from the objects, or what he was trying to prove, or how Locke is supposed to move the island. I guess the more disturbing question is whether the island will be moved in space, or in time, since at this point it's pretty clear it could be either one.

Things are really falling apart on the Kahana at this point, what with the doc and the captain getting whacked and Keamy going all Apocalypse Nowish on the island. Keamy is one remarkably sinister dude, he even managed to make me feel a bit bad for the yellow-bellied Michael, who is apparently still being protected by the island. I can understand Desmond's urge to stay the hell away from the island, but the Kahana really doesn't seem like a safer place to stay. Next week, the preview promises us, the shit continues to hit the fan, but will we get any answers? I think it's safe to say, probably not, but confusion can be so much fun.