TV with MeeVee

"The Wire" Cuts Off This Sunday

This Sunday, "The Wire" shuts down for good, with a 90-minute finale. After sixty episodes, it's finally coming to an end. Templeton, the fabricator at the newsroom (apparently named after the rat from "Charlotte's Web"), is running out of room, as is everyone else. Mayor Carcetti wants the police to clean up their own mess; McNulty (right) is scrambling to get out of the bed he's made for himself; Marlo has risen to the top of the game and has nowhere to go but down. With the old masters of the drug game dead, and new kids coming up, everything gets set to repeat itself.

Look at McNulty's face there: He's unhappy, but not disappointed, because disappointment requires thinking it's going to turn out better. He's no fool, although he acts like an idiot.

Meanwhile, in the world of TV viewers, everyone's getting ready to mourn and celebrate "The Wire" and its five-year run as the best thing on TV. Everybody, it seems, wants to be in on the action, from Columbus Ohio to CNN and USA Today.  New York Magazine has its editors in an IM chat, rehashing their favorite scenes, comparing the "Wire" ending to that of "The Sopranos," and muttering that all other TV sucks now.

Some outlets even have two articles about the finale: The San Jose Mercury-News has both a TV story and an Entertainment story (I'm not sure what the difference is, but there you go), while the SF Chronicle offers an obituary for the show and lets their regular TV guy, Tim Goodman, ponder the show's successors to the title  of Best Drama. (He likes "Dexter.")

If you haven't been too put off by the critical acclaim for the show (which, despite all that, never got the ratings of "The Sopranos," much less "American Idol"), and you haven't seen it yet, catch it on DVD. You won't be disappointed in the show, although it may remind you just how much you're disappointed in humanity and in the rest of television.

Weekend Picks: March 8-9

The Wire
Series finale. Marlo is in charge of the co-op, McNulty and the rest of the cops are in heaps of trouble, and Templeton just might get away with all his lies...

Dexter
Episode 4: The "Ice Truck Killer" seems to be sending Dexter messages hidden in severed body parts. Man, this show is creepy.

Oprah's Big Give
Nine contestants are dropped into a major city where they don't know anyone and have to perform huge, creative acts of charity. Not a bad concept, really. It might actually give you hope for humanity after watching the other two shows in this weekend's selections.

More "Futurama" In The Works? Movies?

After the success of the movie based on the "The Simpsons" TV series, and of the various donut and Squishee merchandising spinoffs, and of "Family Guy" in a return to broadcast, and of "Bender's Big Score" on DVD, it makes sense that "Futurama" would come back.  But we haven't heard any actual confirmation of any such comeback.

Well, we do have one more hint, courtesy of TV Squad, that it's possible.  It turns out that Fox has registered the trademark for Slurm, the highly addictive soda pop that is the signature beverage of Fry, the hapless "Futurama" delivery boy. It's marketed by a giant sunglasses-wearing slug! It's addictive! It's everything you could possibly want in a beverage! Drink it! Now!

Pre-Weekend Cocktail Hour Reading

• A totally genius idea. Let's fix up those "American Idol" kids. (Glitterati Gossip)
• In the same "American Idol" vein, someone finally got to ask David Hernandez about the gay-stripper reports, and he finessed them. Duh. (EW.com)
• "Lost: Every Episode is a Ben Episode." Precisely. Look at him. (Buddy TV)
• Aside from the sadness surrounding John Ritter's death, I can't say I ever felt anything for the sitcom "8 Simple Rules For Dating My Daughter." Well, when David Spade was on screen, maybe a little revulsion. Now the author's followup, "8 Simple Rules For Marrying My Daughter," is going to be a movie. Woot. (Hollywood Reporter)
• Whoever told the NY Post that Jerry Seinfeld was talking about a new sitcom wasn't telling the truth. (AP)
• "The Wire" isn't the only finale on Sunday; there's also the season-one ender for "Breaking Bad." (TV Guide)

Four Years, Twelve Girls, Big Stories

WeTV has a new show coming out called "High School Confidential," which follows four girls through high school. There's a short preview here, but you can also watch a few clips, including one about a girl who gets a brain tumor, and how she feels about that (bad, I guess). There's also a short interview with the director about what drove her to create the documentary, and why it's worth watching for anyone who is or has a teenager.

Slate has a slightly negative opinion, but says it's not the worst thing on TV. No, you have to sink a lot lower for that: I mean, compared to "Paradise Hotel 2" and "Girlicious" it's brilliant.

"Make Me A Supermodel:" Ben Can Do No Wrong

Last night on "Make Me A Supermodel," we got the usual pattern from Ben, and a nasty surprise for Perry.

It feels like Ben has been in the bottom three more times than I can count, but the website says it's four. The only other person put up for the vote that many times was Katy, and she's off the show. Ben keeps screwing up and the viewers keep saving him, either because they love the bromance between him and Ronnie, or because they just think he's too adorable to send back to his job in a prison. Last week, he was up for the vote, and he was saved. This week, he's up for the vote again. Who wants to bet it's someone else who goes home?

Meanwhile, Perry's girlfriend has been cheating on him. How does he find out? Well, she's been cheating on him with Britney Spears' cheating boyfriend, and so she's all over the tabloids, and she has to call and confess pre-emptively. Dumbass.

Question for the readers: How is "Make Me A Supermodel" standing up to "ANTM?"

Fox Reality A Breeding Ground For Despair

We know that reality TV shows picks emotionally unstable people to create more tension and drama. We know that they put these unstable people into unhappy situations for our entertainment. Just look at "Moment Of Truth," which got top ratings when a woman confessed to infidelity on air.

And yet, it's still surprising when Nathan Clutter (right) gets kicked off "Paradise Hotel 2" and jumps off a cell tower shortly thereafter.

Of course, it's entirely possible the poor guy would have done this without the intervention of television, but it's very hard not to point a shaky finger of blame at Fox, reality TV in general, and ultimately at ourselves as viewers.

What gets me is that Nathan died back in October, shortly after filming wrapped. For the past five months, Fox Reality has been prepping the show, and now it's going to air, with a short note on his bio (click around for it, the site's all Flash and you can't link to anything specific) about how sad it is that he "passed away."

I don't know if that's cold, or sensible, or a noble tribute to a young man who wanted fame and hot chicks, but apparently his family was involved in the decision to keep all his scenes intact, so I guess it's OK.  Still, I don't know how anyone involved in the show - producers, contestants, and viewers - can help but feel somehow complicit in his death.

"Lost" Scorecard: You Belong To Me

Between last week's episode and this one, I think I'd be hard-pressed to decide whether Desmond or Juliet has gotten the shaft worse on the island. A little more Juliet backstory (yes, backstory, we're back to flashbacks and not flashforwards), and it's hard not to feel for her, even if she does have the bad taste to be mooning over Jack. Along with pity-inducing Juliet action, we get another big part of the puzzle, more interpersonal drama and one very incredulous Sawyer. All the ingredients required for another fine, solid episode.

It's hard for any episode to follow up "The Constant," easily one of the strongest episodes of the series, but even in comparison this week is pretty good. I recently re-watched the lackluster season 2 on DVD, and season 4 seems more and more like a payoff for all that waiting; finally loyal "Lost" fans are validated. Now, on to the points!

"Canterbury's Law" Star Julianna Margulies Talks

The star is Julianna Margulies, late of "ER" and (briefly) "The Sopranos." Joining her as an executive producer is Denis Leary ("Rescue Me"). And the pilot was directed by Mike Figgis ("Leaving Las Vegas"). So it's right to expect a lot when "Canterbury's Law" bows Monday night on Fox.

Margulies stars as Elizabeth Canterbury, a Rhode Island defense lawyer known for pulling out all the stops. She's got demons, she's overly fond of drink, but she gets the job done, if in unorthodox fashion. She's like a female version of "House." She's got an ethnically assorted support team like him, too.

The demons? Well, she and her law professor husband (Aidan Quinn) are still tormented by the unsolved disappearance of her young son. In Monday's pilot, she finds herself defending an accused child killer in toe-to-toe confrontations with the victim's hot-headed father. But what havoc will the case wreak on her life outside the courtroom?

Earlier this week, Margulies got on the phone with reporters and bloggers to talk about the show. An edited transcript follows...

Question: I’m calling from Rhode Island.  You portray a Rhode Island lawyer.  You don’t speak with a Rhode Island accent, but you do act unethically.  I’m wondering if that’s the Rhode Island connection.
J. Margulies:  (Laughing.)  No, I don’t think so. That’s very funny.  No, I do not speak with a Rhode Island accent, which was a very conscious decision.  I think it would have taken away a little bit; people would have been like, huh?  But I don’t think Rhode Island lawyers are unethical.  Now we’re going to get into all sorts of trouble, aren’t we? I just think that this woman ended up there; she’s not necessarily from there.

Question: Why was it set in Rhode Island?
J. Margulies:  Honestly, you would actually have to ask the writers that.  But I honestly think it was – Boston has been done, New York has been done – they’ve all been done.  Let’s try Rhode Island. And you can double New York as Rhode Island anytime.

Tonight's Picks: Friday, March 7

Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations
Tony travels to India, eats some awesome food, and sees some awesome stuff. Tony even finds vegetarian food that a devoted carnivore like him can appreciate.

In Treatment
Paul's wife, Kate, joins him for his therapy appointment. They begin talking about his relationships with his parents and where the ethical lines lie in those relationships, before turning towards his rapidly collapsing marriage.

The Colbert Report
Repeat of last night's show, with guest John Legend.

"American Idol" Buh-Byes

Kady.

Luke. (Luke, DON'T wake me up before you go-go, a'ight?)

Asia'h.

And...gulp...Danny.

That's a surprise. Maybe Danny shouldn't have made that Christmas video.

I picked Kady and Luke, and put the other two in the "wouldn't mind if they go" category.

On to the Final 12.

Today's Independent Film About Hoarding: Posessed

Hoarding is one of the most poorly-understood, yet fascinating mental illnesses, and it's best known not by a celebrity sufferer (Delta Burke may be the most famous) but as "the cat-lady thing." But it's not just cats. In fact, it's usually not animals at all that people hoard. It's stuff they think could possibly be useful at some later time. "Possessed" is a documentary film by Martin Hampton that explores the world of four hoarders, and looks into the hold that their collections have on them:

POSSESSED from Martin Hampton on Vimeo.

"Top Chef" Stars Debut Next Week

Now that "Project Runway" has finished its catwalk, Bravo moves into "Top Chef" season. And what a season it is! I got the episode one screener yesterday, and it's filled with the biggest stars of the culinary firmament.

Evian, Glad, Food & Wine Magazine, and the GE Monogram line of kitchen appliances return as sponsors this year. Whole Foods acquired grocery sponsor Wild Oats last year, but has continued the relationship under the Whole Foods brand. And as in past seasons, all ground transportation is provided by Toyota.

The big change this time is that the GE Monogram kitchen is in the back of a Pizzeria Uno. Excuse me, Uno's Chicago Bar & Grill, as they've been known since about 2000. Naturally, the first quickfire challenge involves making a Chicago-style deep-dish pizza. This makes perfect sense, because as we all know, Uno's 216 franchise outlets are famous for the sort of high-end cuisine and classical techniques that a "Top Chef" contestant must master.

When they're not cooking, the chefs will stay in a house stocked with Korbel sparkling wine. A notable non-sponsor is Heineken, whose beer is available in the house, but whose labels are digitally blacked out in post-production, suggesting that the brewery is not actually paying to be there.

Bravo's master class in product placement comes at a time when the FCC is trying to determine just what kinds of rules should govern this sort of embedded advertising. Did you know it's pretty much a free-for-all? They don't even have to disclose sponsorships. Of course, it's usually obvious because the sponsors demand "pretties," those lingering, almost sexual closeups otherwise reserved for the chef's hands and the dishes they're preparing.

Oh, did you want to know something about the actual contestants? OK, um, this guy Andrew (at right) is kind of a jerk. He seems to know how to cook, but he's definitely a chef in the "unstable, furious, and foul-mouthed" style. He's got major issues with rage, and I hate the way he talks. The rest of them seem nice enough. But let's talk about those Calphalon pans, huh? Hard-anodized is the way to go, in my opinion.

Project Runway Finale: Fierce, Not Surprising Victory

It's not in any way surprising that Christian won "Project Runway" last night, although I'm at least a little surprised at how close the decision was and how genuinely fantastic all the designs were. They really did have a good crop of contestants this year.

Don't go crying "spoiler" on me. It already happened and it's on the front page of the "Project Runway" site on BravoTV.com. It's not like I'm telling you who gets kicked off "Top Chef" next week. (I know who it is, but Bravo sent me a nice note with the screener asking me not to spill the beans, so I won't. I'm a sucker for a bean-related pun. I will give you details about the show later today, though.)

I'm also impressed by the degree to which Victoria Beckham loved Christian's outfits: I see a collaboration some time in the future, or possibly a deal with DvB. Rami, of course, has the high-end draped evening gown market sewn right up for at least a year to come, and I'm sure Jillian will get hired right away to do her own line for someone, although she's going to need a partner who can push her to make and commit to decisions.

"ANTM" Judging Produces Justice?

I knew last night's last night's "ANTM" was going to be fun, because the makeover episode is always fun. But the drama and comeuppance were wholly unexpected bonuses.

First off, let's look at the most successful makeover: Marvita (left). She looked great beforehand, of course, but the addition of longer hair to her mohawk turned her from a wild child to a performance artist. The others were fine, of course, and Fatima got the most remarkable change, to a hair color that really suits her and brings her from exotic beauty to exotic, impossible beauty. The least successful was probably Whitney, who ended up with Ashley Judd's hair.

But let's get to the drama. The drama was the best part. Of course, it involved Fatima, who has the strong will and slightly harsh edge of an adopted Bostonian, and Alison, who has the tender sensibilities and enormous ego of a coddled teenager... which she is.

"Friday Night Lights" To Return, Platform Neutral

The small but enthusiastic cult of "Friday Night Lights" fan is whooping it up this morning, drinking keg beer and impregnating cheerleaders, as NBC has renewed the show for a third season. But Deadline Hollywood Daily reports the savior of the show is really satellite's DirecTV, which stepped in as co-producer - Hollywoodese for "paid some of the bills" - in return for a satellite broadcast window that will come around the same time as NBC's airings.

"24" To Return Early (Sort Of)

The big news overnight: The Hollywood Reporter's scoop that Fox will air a "24" palate cleanser this fall between courses, errr, seasons. The two-hour movie is intended to fill the gap between last year's season six and season seven, which was pushed back by the writers strike to winter/spring 2009. Season seven takes place partially in D.C., where Jack is testifying before Congress about his methods. Anyone familiar with "24" knows that the pols are going to look like cowardly jackals. But we know exactly zip about this fall's movie. The funniest thing I've read about it is BuddyTV's poll:

How many people will Jack Bauer kill in the prequel?
0
1-4
5-10
Over 10

Of course, "Over 10" is the default answer.

Tonight's Picks: Thursday, March 6

Lost
A bunch of incomprehensible stuff happens. What? It's "Lost."

Make Me A Supermodel
The models must act as "brand ambassadors."

Survivor: Micronesia
The tribes get reshuffled. During the reward challenge, there are several injuries, and someone might even have to go home. Plus, someone catches a shark to eat. Mmmm, shark meat.

"American Idol" - I Wanna Blog With Somebody

Liveblog! "American Idol!" Excellent! In addition to the '80s songs, we're still doing "not- really-embarrassing-at-all most embarrassing moments" stories. Ugh.

Asia'h Epperson - who I hate just because of the apostrophe - is singing Whitney Houston's "I Wanna Dance With Somebody." Pretty good version, so good that it's got Paula up and boogeying. For that alone, I want Asia'h gone.

Kady, one of the surviving interchangeable blonds, is singing Queen and turning it into some shitty overblown Celine Dion-type diva ballad. "I'm still having issues with your massive lack of personality," Simon tells her, namechecking the Stepford Wives. Ryan tries to defend her and Simon bites his head off. Excellent. Kady's going home, I think/hope.

Now Amanda's rocking "I Hate Myself For Loving You." No, I mean she really is rocking it. Somebody tell Paula to sit the fuck down, seriously.But I can't blame Amanda for that, or the fact that the song has this bridge totally ripped off from "Dream On." Nice performance, verbal high fives from the judges, Amanda is too nervous to smile. Don't worry, Joan Jett wouldn't have smiled, either.

"American Idol" - We're Liveblogging Tonight

I'll be dishing the criticism out to the ladies as they tackle the songs of the 1980s on "American Idol" tonight. But first, a couple of picks from last night's performances by the men, so capably snarked by Aaron. He and I disagree about dreadhead Jason Castro's restrained take on Leonard Cohen's "Hallelujah." I thought Castro did a terrific job of finding a new route through a song so memorably recorded by Jeff Buckley and Rufus Wainwright. Best of the night. My second favorite was David Cook's fuzz-guitar emo-rock version of Lionel Richie's bathetic "Hello." Now that's how we put a few balls on a song I thought only a grandma or a prom dancer could love.

So who's getting punted? Luke Menard must DIE DIE DIE go home just for choosing "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go," never mind his craptacular performance. I was also underwhelmed by Michael Johns' wimped-out vocal on "Don't You Forget About Me," although if they sent home Chikeze or the Danny Noreiga, the increasingly annoying poster boy for teenaged drama queens everywhere, I wouldn't weep.

Anyway, until showtime, here's Castro's performance to tide you over...

"Doctor Who" And "Torchwood" Lose Cool Points, Actors

Rumors are flying fast and furious about the fate of "Doctor Who" and "Torchwood," two of the BBCs most popular scripted programs. There have been persistent unconfirmed rumors that the fabulously weird David Tennant would be leaving his role as The Doctor, which would be disappointing but can be considered an inevitability of sorts. Like James Bond, the role experiences a lot of turnover. David Tennant is beloved by  fans, but some of the other options sound pretty good. Sadly the rumor that it might be David Carlyle of "The Full Monty" fame has proven false.

On the other hand, the news that "Torchwood" may lose Jack, Owen and Tosh in the next season makes one wonder why they'd bother keeping the show. "Torchwood" without Captain Jack Harkness seems a little like "MacGyver" without MacGyver, or "Stargate: SG-1" without MacGyver. It's hard to imagine the show surviving a radical Jack-ectomy without folding like a house of cards. This rumor (coming to us by way of SyFy Portal) comes from the same source as the David Carlyle story, so we can hope that both are equally wrong. What do you think, "Torchwood" fans? Is there any point in the show with Captain Jack?

"New Amsterdam" Premieres Amidst Centuries Of Cop-Show Cliche

There's been a distinct lack of buzz for Fox's new supernatural detective show "New Amsterdam," so I didn't go in expecting much. It's also a concept that's been more or less done before, a few times, but I'm willing to allow that there are new things that could be done with the immortal guy in a nice trenchcoat. Unfortunately, "New Amsterdam" does exactly none of them. Aside from a rather charming throwaway about our hero taking a photograph of Times Square every year, I didn't see a scene or hear a line of dialogue that I haven't more or less heard before.

In classic cop cliché, we meet John Amsterdam as he's being hooked up with his new partner, Eva. She's a tough lady cop who didn't want this assignment, but is bound and determined not to get pushed away or killed as all Amsterdam's partners seem to. Amsterdam wants to get rid of her, but he's more interested in solving the murder of a young woman who he identifies as not a prostitute by her expensive perfume. It is at roughly this point that the friend who I roped into watching this premiere with me starts giving me pointed looks. Her righteous indignation is understandable, I made her watch the "Painkiller Jane" premiere with me too.

"Buffy The Vampire Slayer" Comic With Slayer-On-Slayer Action

It's amazing to me that years after "Buffy The Vampire Slayer" went into syndication it's still a touchstone for sci-fi fans. Maybe not that amazing: It was, after all, a really good show. And it's still got new storylines to discover, like the one in which Buffy has sex with a Slayer named Satsu.

This happens, of course, in the comic book - the New York Times has made a PDF sample available for download, if you're curious. And yes, it's got more lesbian sex, although this time it's just a sort of awkward, probably regrettable hookup not at all like the game-changing Willow/Tara relationship. Besides, why the hell not? You know the subtext has been there all along.

I'm curious though, why the franchise hasn't had any gay male characters (at least, not insofar as I know- feel free to correct me here). I know there's plenty of Spike/Angel fan-fic out there, so there's obviously demand. Are Joss Whedon and company afraid of turning "Buffy" fan service into some kind of dirty slash monster?

The Economist Watches "Dr. Who"

The serious (but not stuffy) UK business mag The Economist sent someone to liveblog the latest primary election results. Yes, just as I've been faithfully liveblogging "American Idol," someone else is drawing connections between politics and... "Doctor Who?"

Yes:

I should note, incidentally, that I'm at a small party with a gaggle of bloggers, and a New York Times reporter has just shown up to cover us covering the cable networks covering the returns. I've now covered her coverage of our coverage of their coverage, and this sentence is reflexive coverage of my coverage. If I recall correctly from my skimming of Godel, Escher, Bach and religious viewing of Doctor Who, this will create a strange loop that rends the fabric of the universe asunder.

YouTube Tells Me The Future

When I am old, I'm going to be that creepy old guy who lives alone with his cats and piles of newspaper clippings about cats. Well, instead of newspapers, maybe it's going to be banks of hard drives filled with downloaded cat videos. So, it will be less cluttered, but still creepy and sad.

I say this because no SNL Digital Short can prove as amusing to me as this video of "The Cat Of 1000 Faces:" which I found on Cute Overload:

"Terminator" Brings The Hot Robot Love (And Doom)

I mentioned yesterday that I really hope that "Terminator" gets a second season because I want to see Cameron (Summer Glau) go to the prom, but io9 is even more into the whole robosexual thing than I am. To be honest, I'm beginning to think that robot love is the sci-fi theme of the moment. Maybe it reveals a widespread cultural anxiety about technology, and maybe it's just that robots are kind of sexy, I'm not sure. But bear with me here.

First we had the "Battlestar Galactica" Cylons and their spines glowing during hot Cylon sex (left). It's inspired a lot of jokes, but they're still drawing attention to the question of where to draw the line between where's the line between humans and technology.

And now there's John Connor developing an unwholesome attachment to Cameron. Is a tame Terminator more trustworthy than a wild human? Will his distrust of humans and his trust in robots eventually kill him? Plus, of course, his teenage lust and Cameron's careful notes on seduction. As io9 says "The moment where John Connor cuts Summer Glau's head open and lovingly rips out her cyber-brain was actually weirdly tender and sweet, and yet ridiculously sexual. (And then when Summer reboots, she catches John giving her the post-coital moon-eyes.)"

We've had this sort of pop-cultural moment before, of course, but it seems more and more possible than it did back in the 1980s, when the rapidly increasing power of computers helped to inspire Short Circuit and Electric Dreams. In this decade, we've seen plenty of trend pieces in which people worry about the opinions their technology has formed - the "my TiVo thinks I'm gay" moment. And don't get me started about the way people tend to treat Roombas like pets instead of vacuum cleaners.

This summer, we'll get family-friendly treatment of the same theme, with WALL-E, a movie about a robot who falls in love. No glowing spines or reproductive organs, sure, but look under the hood. It's got the same basic circuitry as "Terminator:" Humans cause some kind of apocalypse through arrogance and stupidity, while robots become human and replace us.

"America's Next Top Model" Makeovers Tonight

Get your anti-shrieking earplugs ready, because tonight is everybody's favorite "ANTM" moment: The makeover episode!

My question, though, is never answered on any makeover show ever: Why do celebrity stylists all have such bad haircuts? I know the joke about the small town with two barbers, where you have to pick the guy with bad hair because you know he cuts the other guy's hair, but surely in the real world a hot stylist knows how to find someone who can treat their hair right?

Morning Reading: "Dirt" Bedeviled, "The Office" Reordered

• Ratings for "Dirt's" season premiere sucked. Don't expect another one. (Hollywood Reporter)
• More tea leaves for "Lost" fans. (GMMR)
• Lana and Lex are leaving "Smallville," or at least the actors are. (Televisionista)
• CBS will finally air the potentially controversial "Swingtown" - this summer, which may be a sign of low confidence in the show. (Hollywood Reporter)
• NBC has ordered 30 - count 'em! - episodes of "The Office" for next season. (GMMR)
• More nightmarish bullshit about the potential for an actors strike. This time its their two unions who are fighting. Jeez! (TV Guide)
• Nikki Finke thinks it's kinda sick that a children's rights group is honoring Nina Tassler, president of CBS Entertainment, which aired "Kid Nation." (Deadline Hollywood Daily)
• Apparently Simon Cowell got in a barely audible dig at our favorite stripper guy on "American Idol" last night. (TMZ)

"Jericho": Contronyms And Contraband

Jericho
Title: Oversight
First Aired: 3/04/08

I've said before that "Jericho" has a problem when it can't decide what kind of show it is. This week it sets its sights directly on being a military thriller, which is the show it does best, and manages to leave you wanting more. The story is heating up, and the focus pays off for viewers. The future of "Jericho" may not be the brightest, but at least it will give the fans something worthwhile to go out on.

Mimi, who is what my grandfather would call "too smart for her own damn good," has been doing her work for J&R and in the process discovered that 10,000 dollars worth of the newly minted ASA's currency has gone missing. Trish at J&R is more than ready to help get to the bottom of this, but in a turn that surprises no one, Goetz is acting like he's got something to hide. Shocker.

Tonight's Picks: Wednesday, March 5

American Idol
The top eight female contestants sing songs from the 1980s. Sadly, no bonus presentation of hits from the 1880s. I'm guessing we won't get anyone singing Joy Division or New Order, either.

America's Next Top Model
Makeover night! Plus, lingerie modeling with Elle MacPherson. Trouble brews between Fatima and Allison.

In Treatment
If the New York Times is to be believed, Gabriel Byrne's Dr. Paul Weston is the fantasy dream man of every HBO-subscribing woman in America. Also, Mia Wasikowska, as Sophie, is about to become the greatest actress of the next decade.

Project Runway
Finale! Will Christian, Rami, or Jillian win?

We're Down To The Last Eight Men On "Idol"

"American Idol" tonight is down to the last eight men. Because it's 80's night, Paula has done her hair in a feathery style.

Tonight's getting-to-know-you question for the singers is "what was your most embarrassing moment?" I think a better question is "Why is Denise Richards in the audience?"

The first singer is Luke Menard and his embarrassing fashion crime is that his older sister dressed him in a tutu once. He is singing "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go." He begins poorly but manages to bring it to mediocre by the end. Not a good sign for him.

David Archuleta was born until 1991, and has no 80s fashion disasters to relate. So he tells us about an embarrassing moment involving his voice failing in the middle of a song. Boorrrring. Even more boring: His choice of "Another Day For You And Me In Paradise." He has a sweet voice and he's vocally talented, but what a boring song. Simon says it's too sad, as well, which is a dumb comment. It's not really a sad song as much as it is a bathetic charity appeal made into music. Sad would be "Love Will Tear Us Apart."

Danny Noriega: He says his most embarrassing moment until now was falling down in front of a boy he had a crush on. I've seen his Christmas video (excerpted above left) and I disagree. Whatever: His most embarrassing moment now is using the IM acronym "TMTH" in actual speech to mean "too much to handle." No, wait, he's superseded that shame by singing a disastrously pitchy version of "Tainted Love." It's a great song choice, and I'm glad he picked it, but he's not up to the task. His performance, too, is campier than anything short of drag-queen bingo night. The hair is cute, though. I can't believe I'm agreeing with Simon, but "Absolutely useless: Hated the vocals, hated the arrangement..." Even less believable is that Paula and Randy kind of like it.

David Hernandez, the stripper (shown at right in a photo cribbed from VFTW) His embarrassing moment is snot-related. I'd love to say "coke-booger," but I'm just not Perez Hilton. He's singing "It's All Coming Back To Me Now," breaking the "diva rule" by singing Celine Dion ("In a talent show, never sing songs by divas like Whitney, Celine, or Mariah). Improbably, he's doing a good job of it. Even Simon likes it. Very strange.

CW Serves Up Spring Sked

More news from the busy bees at CW. After all the other recent fun, the network has announced a new spring schedule that puts fresh episodes of "Gossip Girl" (right) and "One Tree Hill" back to back on Mondays, beginning April 21, and shifts some other shows, but not the Thursday duo of "Smallville" and "Supernatural." The whole press release follows, including all the premiere dates...

THE CW NETWORK LOCKS IN MIDSEASON SCHEDULE
WITH NEW EPISODES AND NEW TIME PERIODS

New Episodes of Freshman Hit GOSSIP GIRL Return on Monday, April 21, Paired with Originals of ONE TREE HILL, Creating New Night of Drama for The CW

March 4, 2008 (Burbank, CA) ─ The CW Network has set its new midseason schedule, featuring brand new episodes of its scripted series and several strategic moves to bolster new nights and new time periods.

New episodes of freshman sensation GOSSIP GIRL return to The CW schedule beginning Monday, April 21 (8:00-9:00p.m. ET). On April 7, ONE TREE HILL moves to its new night and time on Mondays (9:00-10:00p.m. ET), following GOSSIP GIRL and creating a powerful night of drama for The CW.

With ONE TREE HILL moving to Mondays in April, the climactic final original episodes of PUSSYCAT DOLLS PRESENTS: GIRLICIOUS will air on Wednesdays starting April 9 (9:00-10:00p.m. ET), following AMERICA’S NEXT TOP MODEL.

"American Idol" Stripper? We Knew That.

Vote For The Worst broke the story about "American Idol" contestant David Hernandez's, um, employment history. We  linked you to the news way back on Feb. 25. Now it's everywhere because the AP has reported it, complete with the news that he performed "fully nude" and provided lapdances for the "mostly male" customers.

So tell us - does this help him or hurt him in tonight's voting? We'll be liveblogging. In the meantime, here's his video and performance of "Papa Was A Rolling Stone" from last week in which he talks about hiding his package during gymnastics class in junior high. Funny, I thought the idea was to show it off ...

"Dexter" Video Game?

A "Dexter" video game? IGN says it's in the works. I don't see how this could possibly be any good, but I guess people are suckers for video games based on TV shows just like they're suckers for movies based on video games.

Jason Lewis Gets This All The Time, I'm Sure

Jason Lewis, best known as Samantha's improbably hot boyfriend on "Sex And The City," has a guest spot on "Head Case." But I don't know that it could be all that fictional. I mean, isn't his life a continuous whirlwind of passionate kissing from strange women?

"Terminator" Plus Johnny Cash Equals Explosions

Last night's "Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles" was a triumph, from Cameron the "good" terminator learning to smile and make idle conversation all the way through to the Johnny Cash song over the final minutes. And it left me wanting more: Will they catch the Armenian gangster who bought the Turk? Will they ever stop Cromartie, now that Agent Ellison and Sarah's ex know that he's a terminator and Sarah is right? What will happen to the girl who is the sole survivor of the Latino gang that sold Sarah the fake IDs? How hilarious will it be if Cameron goes to the prom?

We may or may not find out: Last week, Sci-Fi blog Io9 interviewed exec producer Josh Friedman, who says the show has a good chance of getting a second season, but it's not a guarantee. Want to boost the ratings and/or find out what happened? Watch the final hour right here:

Morning Reads

• In the proud tradition of many boy band managers comes word that one of the Sprouse Brothers' handlers has been popped for hitting on a 16-year-old boy. And right now, on my iTunes, the Who is singing "I'm a boy, I'm a boy, but my ma won't admit it..." (Glitterati Gossip)
• NBC's new year-round schedule includes a teen-oriented horror anthology series for this summer, and they're getting some decent names. (BuzzSugar)
• ABC, meanwhile, is planning a summer reality show tied into "High School Musical." (Buddy TV)
• ABC has also renewed "Dancing With The Stars" into 2009. (Buddy TV)
• Encouraged by "The Closer" and perhaps "Saving Grace," TNT is making ambitious plans to move to mostly original programming in prime time. (TV Decoder)
• For once the FCC goes after programming for something other than sideboob or a stray expletive. (Reuters)

CW Giveth, CW Taketh Away

We told you yesterday about CW's early pickups for shows like "America's Next Top Model" and "Everybody Loves Chris." What they of course didn't mention was that at the same time they were sending out that press release, they were whacking 25-30 employees behind the scenes, including their entire comedy department.More reality shows are definitely coming down the pike for the fall, sez the Hollywood Reporter. Why? CW's decision not to renew pro wrestling means the network now has to find a low-cost Friday night programming lineup.

What all this means for shows that didn't get "early" renewals - notably our favorites "Reaper" (pictured) and "Aliens in America" - is not yet clear.

Tonight's Picks: Tuesday, March 4

Jericho
The mysterious John Smith tells Hawkins he's about to be captured by Major Beck.

American Idol
The top 8 boys perform songs from the 1980s. Mercifully cut to one hour instead of two.

New Amsterdam
Debut: Detective John Amsterdam is blessed with immortality but cursed to be bored by life until he finds true love, at which point he'll become mortal.... We have an interview with the cast and also the following clip:

CW Wants More "Model," "Gossip"

CW today announced early pickups for "America's Next Top Model" (cycles 11 and 12) plus "Everybody Loves Chris," "Gossip Girl," "One Tree Hill," "Smallville" and "Supernatural." Perhaps no coincidence that we found out this morning "Nick at Night" had picked up cable rerun rights to "Chris." "ANTM," "Gossip Girl" and "One Tree Hill" are tops with women 18-34, a much-sought demographic.

"Unhitched" Brings Monkey Sex To Primetime

Tim Goodman gives "Unhitched" a very positive review that still makes me pretty sure I don't want to watch it. He says "If you're uptight about things like, say, a man being raped by a monkey ...  well, you'll need to really lower your expectations here."

In fact, it's the attempted monkey rape that was the lead-in for last night's episode, embedded here for your enlightenment. See, a dude called "Gator" has a hot date, and his hot date has a pet monkey, and it all leads to Gator needing some stitches on his butt, which is really the only logical conclusion to a TV scene involving two naked humans and a monkey wearing pants. The only logical conclusion I can reach about this show is that Fox has sorely overestimated the number of people who think that what prime time TV really needs is more pixelated monkey junk.

Swords Are Dangerous

Channel 101 is a web-based producer of low-budget wacky comedy. One, called "Cautionary Tales Of Swords," is... well, a series of cautionary tales of swords. As the romantic interest says at the beginning, "That's really thoughtful. Kind of homophobic, but really thoughtful." Full of profanity, so turn the volume down low if you're at work.

"American Idol" Charity Show To Feature Bono, Brad Pitt, Miley Cyrus

I'm not even going to waste my strength thinking up something snarky to say! Now that's charity...

EM