TV with MeeVee

Gossip Girl: "What Does Chuck Want?"

"Gossip Girl" hottie Chuck isn't exactly the most inscrutable guy in the world, but his motives still baffle some of the ladies.

"BSG" Scorecard: In Space, No One Can Hear You Flip Out

A difficulty in juggling a big ensemble cast and multiple plotlines as "Battlestar Galactica" does is that, some of the time, a few will fall short. With the Cylon civil war getting into full swing, and the hidden Cylons clinging desperately to survival while trying to figure out what they're supposed to do and be, it's hard to care  very much about Adama vs. Roslin vs. Adama. This is surprising because Pappy Adama and Roslin are arguably two of the most interesting characters in the show, but at the moment I just can't get worked up about their political bickering. Let's be generous and say that's because the other stories are way too cool.

We only get a snippet of what's up with Starbuck and the crew of the Demetrius, who have apparently been on the road for a few weeks. It's not very interesting, but it's also not really long enough to do anything but remind us that Starbuck is crazy (but still hot) and show the crew chafing under her nutty, nutty command. Still, it feels superfluous, which is a shame because the main plot threads are so jaw-droppingly awesome. But this is a numbers game! Let's see how it stacks up.

Weekend Picks: April 19-20

Desperate Housewives
Carlos is blind. It sucks for Carlos and it sucks for Gaby. Bree and Katherine throw a party.

Big Brother
Which horrible skeeze is going to get evicted this week? Find out tonight. Or, you know, don't. No skin off my back if you don't watch these poor suffering maniacs.

Breaking Bad
Walter needs money and the chemo's almost as bad as the cancer. So, he goes back into business cooking a new batch of crank, even as the DEA steps up its investigation.

Barack Obama Puts Manufactured Distraction On Notice

Manufactured political distractions: You are officially on notice!

"Battlestar" Makes Ducky Cry

Ducky says he feels kind of embarrassed that he cried during last week's episode of "Battlestar Galactica." And I agree. I'm embarrassed for him. Sure, it's sad to see Katee Sackhoff going crazy in jail and so forth, but dude, you were crying about Cylons. That kind of makes me despair, in the dry hollows of my heart, for the fate of humanity.

At least you weren't crying about "American Idol." One of my friends confessed to me that he cried during David Cook's performance this past Tuesday. I referred him to a doctor.

While we're on the topic of hot Cylon sex: Someone has gone and drawn "BSG" characters as "Simpsons" characters. Also, if you missed it, there's a fun video interview with Katee Sackhoff about the past, the future, "Robot Chicken," conventions, etc.

“Smallville” – My Two Dads

Show: Smallville
Episode: “Descent”
First Aired: 4/17/08

WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD

A couple of weeks ago, I spotted actor John Glover in the South Pasadena farmers market. There he was - Lionel Luthor in the flesh, father of evil mastermind Lex - and he was shopping for produce. No one else seemed to notice, either due to Southern Californians being used to celebrities walking amongst us or because he was so unlike the character he plays. The actor and a friend were deciding which grapefruits were ripe enough to buy - not exactly a Luthor trait. In the moment I wondered, “Shouldn’t he be in Vancouver shooting ‘Smallville?' ” Now I know why he wasn’t.

Afternoon Tea & Links

• "The Soul Train Music Awards" are going away, two years after "Soul Train." (Reuters)
• Brian Dunkelman talks about "American Idol" and disses its callous way of treating the kids. He's on the highbrow piece of art cinema known as "Celebrity Fit Club: Boot Camp" now. (TV Guide)
• The "Deadliest Catch" for a reality TV show may be when The Hollywood Reporter gets ahold of your editing memo. (THR)

The Simpsons Are Going To Venezuela Again

"The Simpsons" has been cleared to return to the Venezuelan airwaves, according to the AP. Just a few weeks ago, there was a minor scandal as the show had been yanked from family-time programming for its subversive undertones and poor morals. Once cooler minds prevailed, it went right back on - although it now airs late in the evening.

"Dollhouse" Doles Out Spoilers, Picks Up Fred

It was inevitable, given the amount of fan interest behind a Joss Whedon project, that every detail of of "Dollhouse" would be leaked, reported and poured over by restless Whedonites who are sick of watching "Once More With Feeling" on DVD over and over. I mean... I assume that's what they're doing. I certainly wouldn't have any first hand knowledge.

Luckily for us, I mean you, E! Online has gotten some juicy details on what will be going on in the pilot episode -- be assured, it's spoilery -- and the details look delicious. Without divulging too much for you spoiler avoiding types, I will say that it looks fantastic and dark. It also seems to have plenty of room for the trademark "tiny, slightly crazy girl who can totally kick your ass" character.

Also in the win column, the stunningly gorgeous Amy Acker AKA Fred from "Angel" will be joining the cast in a regular role. Cue the exciting squeeing from the fans.

At Least One "ANTM" Winner Still Has A Career

A lot of people think that "ANTM" can't ever launch a real modeling career, and maybe it won't ever turn someone into an real modeling sensation the way that, say, "Idol" has created at least a couple hot singles.

But last year's winner, Jaslene Gonzales (left), still seems to show up in all kinds of places, so I guess she's getting paid to stand around looking pretty. She's also appeared in a number of TV spots for Cover Girl, and she's definitely improved her speaking delivery. She may have been working with a vocal coach, because her accent, formerly impenetrable, is now charming.

So, good for "ANTM" I guess.

Attacks On The Axis Of Vapid

Well, surprise surprise. The New Yorker doesn't like "The Hills" because it's stupid. Can't you even find a straw man to defend the show before demolishing it? I guess that would be an indication that the subject is worth your time.

Loving "The Office" So Much I Want To Propose

OK, so how good was "The Office" last night? Another Michael Scott-centric episode, with a Kevin-and-Andy B story, ended in a sudden but utterly natural turn to a huge Jim-and-Pam moment - or really two huge moments. Or maybe three. Jammers are going nuts today.

Read no further if you don't want spoilers. A quick recap: Michael's breakup with Jan left him desperately needy and romantically fixated on a woman in an office supplies catalog. He demanded his employees each fix him up with a friend. This went about as well as you'd expect. (Stanley: "There's nobody I hate enough to write their name on this card.") Meanwhile, Dwight set out to get the catalog model for Michael, only to find out that she was dead. Pam took pity on Michael and fixed him up with her landlord, a plain woman who Michael treated horribly. As all this was happening, Kevin and Andy called together the "five families" of the Scranton office park for a sitdown about the parking-space crisis.

The gasp-inducing moments came near the end, when Jim, little seen to this point, wandered over to Pam's desk to commiserate about the Michael fiasco. Michael's treatment of her landlord would leave Pam homeless, he said. And in a very low-key way, before we even knew we were in the deep end of the relationship pool, Jim suggested she move in with him. Both of them smiling and talking quietly, like this wasn't a holy shit moment.

Jenna Jameson Jumps To "Mainstream" Cinema On "The View"

I love watching the hosts of "The View" try to be polite to Jenna Jameson and treat her as someone with a legitimate film career. They can't resist giggling over the fact that Jenna's new movie, "Zombie Strippers," is hardly "mainstream" cinema, despite the fact that it's only rated R instead of XXX.

"Gossip Girl:" Why Be Nice?

"Gossip Girl" queen-bees Blair and Serena could give Machiavelli a lesson or three. Why be nice when it's so much more effective to be cruel?

Good Morning, Good Morning

• More on CW's decision to stop streaming "Gossip Girl" comes in this post and this one. The latter suggests it's all a ploy to whip up interest in the under-watched show. OMFG, really?! (TV By The Numbers)
• Maybe it wasn't Gary Dourdan's idea to leave "CSI" after all. (TV Guide)
• Leelee Sobieski: Obviously A Robot. (Glitterati)
• I've been trying to decide which Robin Sparkles/"HIMYM" post to link to. Let's try this one. (BuzzSugar)
• Some new deets on Joss Whedon's "Dollhouse." (TV Squad)
• Spoilery "Lost" speculation: Could Sawyer be on his way out? (Buddy TV)
• Addison's returning (temporarily) to Seattle Grace and "Grey's Anatomy." Yawwwwwwn. (Buddy TV)

Tonight's Picks: Friday, April 18

Canterbury's Law
Season 1 Finale. Elizabeth defends a rapist and feels guilty about it, even though everyone has a right to defense. Meanwhile, Chester does some good by prosecuting a slumlord when a child is badly injured by rats. Ew. Rats.

Futurama
Two old eps back to back. First, Leela protests a tanker of oil and Bender gets rebooted in penguin mode. Later, Fry searches for his five-leaf clover.

Colbert Report
Last night's episode, reprise. I'd rather watch "Colbert" twice than any bit of "Hannity And Colmes," especially the one from this week featuring Ben Stein and his new anti-science screed.

Afternoon Linkage

• Ausiello gives you a full rundown on which shows are on the bubble for renewal. And hey, Boreanaz was right, "Bones" isn't even on the list. (TV Guide)
• Kristy Lee Cook got engaged in the "American Idol" contestant lodgings a while back but didn't tell anyone until after getting voted off last night. Her boyfriend proposed in the sauna. Now, I know she's 24 and everything, but it does make me wonder about what goes on there... (E! Online)
• Louis CK rises from TV's graveyard to make another sitcom. (TV Squad)
• More on the "Desperate Housewives" time warp. (Buddy TV)

The Return Of The Thing

According to Televisionista, the gay neighbors are coming back to "Desperate Housewives" on May 4 - sweeps week, naturally. Everybody loves the Wisteria Lane househusbands, so that's a sure draw and probably good news for TV watchers.

Meanwhile, over at Bravo, "Flipping Out," that show about that neurotic real-estate speculator, has been renewed. I think that's a terrible idea, but the news was l greeted with squeals of joy over at D-Listed.

Still Loving "The Office," What's Your Problem

I won't dignify them with links - pffft - but there are some hatas out there who say it's like "The Office" writers never came back from the strike. They've been dissing last week's "Dinner Party" episode and complaining that the NBC comedy needs to get back to Dunder Mifflin's beige cubicles, from which all blessings flow. They're idiots. Last week's episode was excruciatingly uncomfortable in just the way most human interaction on "The Office" tends to be, and thus hilarious. Jan's assault on Michael's tiny, pathetic $200 high-def TV found precisely the place where character revelation meets insane comedy. Tonight's episode should make everyone happy, anyway, as it returns to the office for a brouhaha about parking spaces - and Michael has fallen for a model in an office supply catalog.

The Real Reason Kim Cattrall Signed On To "My Boy Jack"

Kim Cattrall, who played Samantha on "Sex And The City," is Carrie Kipling (wife of Rudyard, mother of the titular Jack) in "My Boy Jack," airing on PBS this weekend. She tells press it's a project she joined because she's loved Kipling all her life.

Please. That girl couldn't kipple if her life depended on it. She only wanted in for two reasons: First, Jack is played by "Harry Potter" star Dan Radcliffe. Second, it's someone named Carrie, and you just know she's always wanted to be Carrie and not that icky cougar Samantha.

"Top Chef" Has Beers With Bears

Chef Tom Colicciho might be something of a bear icon, but not nearly as much as the guests on last night's "Top Chef." More than the pizza episode, I think, this was the perfect Chicago challenge. They started with beers, and moved on to tailgating with Bears - notably William "Refrigerator" Perry, the former Chicago Bears player remembered for his enormous size (six foot two, 382 pounds) and enormous personality.

The quickfire challenge: Pick a beer and make a dish to go with it.  Jen, heartbroken from losing Zoi last week, kicked some ass on that one. Savory beignets are not something I'd have imagined, but now I want them.  Badly.

The main challenge was cooking a tailgate meal for judges, football fans, and assorted former players. Dale makes ribs, which is an obvious winner right there, especially once you hear The Fridge say "I like the riiiiiibs." It sounded like he wanted to eat all the ribs available, then grab Dale in one enormous hand, dip him in any remaining sauce, and devour him whole.

Ryan says he doesn't like sports, and it's obvious that he doesn't get the point of tailgating, because his dish just isn't easy to eat. Also it doesn't even sound that good. He gets booted without too much debate, although New Zealand Mark's station was so messy that Tom Colicchio was tempted to boot him just for being "unsanitary," and Nikki lost points for not bothering to make her own sausage.

The only thing that really surprised me about the episode was Dale's prize for winning: A commemorative Bears jersey and a deluxe Weber grill. Last week's winner got a culinary tour of Italy, and this week's winner just gets a grill? Lame. How about adding an endorsement deal, or maybe installing a deluxe commercial grill when Dale opens his own restaurant?

"ANTM" Packs Its Bags For Rome

Last night on "ANTM," Fatima lost her travel papers and had to spend the whole day getting them back, instead of participating in the photoshoot. Well, she got a scolding and nearly broke down, but failing to show up didn't keep her out of the game. Instead, Tyra Banks and company booted Stacy-Ann, because she hadn't improved and she just seemed so fake all the time. I think she's adorable, but she does kind of look like a bobblehead and she's got an annoying voice.

Of course, the other girl with the annoying voice, Anya, did just fine. She actually won the 7UP party challenge, and was rewarded with the exposure of being in a soft-drink ad... and $10,000. All the other girls pretended to be happy for her, but I would have been livid. She also did best in the photoshoot, which is just going to make her a target. I can't wait for the other models to start calling her fake.

Next week, the ladies head to Rome, where we can expect challenges involving local culture and speaking in video advertisements for makeup. Bring on the demands for vocal coaches!

Lois Griffin And Alex Borstein: Got MILF?

Apparently a lot of people who visit our website are looking for "Sexy Pictures Of Alex Borstein." Borstein, the voice of "The Family Guy" MILF Lois Griffin, is most often seen live in occasional reruns of "Mad TV," where she played characters like The Gap Troll, so it's a little tricky to find really sexy pictures of her.

Fortunately, we have skills and resources, and found this photo of Borstein from a "Family Guy" promotional event. Cheers to you, our loyal, pervy readers!

"Gossip Girl" Gets Bitchy

Well, I guess "Gossip Girl" gets bitchier. The following clip is from the episode titled "The Blair Bitch Project." It's about being bitchy. It airs in just a few days. Enjoy!

Good Morning, Campers!

• "Heroes: Origins" is dead, dead, dead. But you knew that, right? (New Film Dimension)
• Smart move by ABC, signing author Jennifer Weiner to develop a chick-friendly series. (Variety)
• Tuesday's "Idol" was down 12 percent, year-to-year, but still blows away the competition. (Televisionista)
• Kathie Lee Gifford's "Today" return, reviewed. (NYT)
• Best line of the morning: "Needless to say, the candy was more hard-hitting than Mary Hart." (Deadline Hollywood Daily)
• Kim Cattrall interview is not so exciting, but a good reminder that Daniel "Harry Potter" Radcliffe is on "Masterpiece Theater" this weekend in "My Boy Jack." (AP)
• For "Battlestar Galactica" fans only. (Billboard)

Tonight's Picks: Thursday, April 17

30 Rock
A local hero who stopped a subway crash turns out to be Liz Lemon's ex. Jack wants a hip Republican to appear as a guest on a talk show, but can't seem to find one.

The Office
Michael falls in love with a picture in an office-supply catalog, while the rest of the staff fight over parking spaces.

Scrubs
J.D. and Turk both worry about their masculinity: J.D. wants to be a role model, and Turk's got some surgical issues. Meanwhile, a janitor's dispute with Kelso spawns a staff newspaper.

"American Idol" Results

OK, I called Kristy, I called Syesha, and I sorta called Brooke, although I figured if she was in the final three, it would be because Kristy was safe, not Carly. "Idol" thoughts for tonight...

• I was at the eye doctor today. Randy Jackson has a line of eyeglass frames. Seriously.
• Ryan Seacrest stole his hair from Vanilla Ice, yes?
• Please God make this year's songwriting contest winner better than "This Is My Now."
• Elliot Yamin. Nice guy. Sorry about his mom. New teeth look good. But a star? Uh, no.
• Did anyone think the Ford ad where the contestants were portrayed as marionettes was just a little too close to the truth? Also, it's an ad, not a "music video."
• Kristy's horse. She sold it. Now she wants it back. Pretty blond girls have to get everything they want, right?
• Anyone else think 80 percent of Mariah's song was backing track?
• Ryan is getting more and more devious with how he delays the results. I liked it when David Archuleta sat down rather than pick which group was safe. And I liked it when David Cook went and sat with him.

OK, and the ejectee was ... Kristy. And the best thing she's done the whole season was the way she started out her farewell performance sitting on the desk, singing right in Simon's face. But I'm glad Brooke survived.

Dude, Where's My Weekend?

Is it only Wednesday? How is it only Wednesday? Man, I could use a bong-hit and/or a stoner movie right about now. Oh, hey. Free "Dude, Where's My Car?" on the internets! Rock!

"American Idol" Prediction: Personality Deficit

Aaron nailed last night's performances on "American Idol's" Mariah Carey night. But since I'll be covering tonight's results show, I ought to weigh in with my predictions ahead of time, so when I totally get it right it won't seem like I'm just faking it.

• David Archuleta: I think his adorable aw shucks smile has been programmed like the Manchurian Candidate by his reportedly insufferable stage dad. That said, I think he'll be in the final two. He's not going home tonight, that's for sure.
• Carly Smithson: Didn't like her last night. And I'm not buying that this tattooed bar singer is really all girly and excited to meet Mariah. Bottom three.
• Syesha Mercado: Another week, another strong musical performance lacking any artistic personality. Bottom three, again.
• Brooke White: Really liked her singer-songwriter version of "Hero," and I hope she's not going home tonight.
• David Cook: Dude is going miles and miles on a little bit of daring in his arrangements and his sub-Vedder voice. He's headed for the final two - a battle of the Davids. Nowhere near going home tonight.
• Jason Castro: Melllllllow. If Jack Johnson can be a huge star, then he can too. He still doesn't seem like he's actually trying to win it, more like he just digs hanging out. But he's not going home tonight.
• Kristy Lee Cook: Totally not digging her awkward moves or her golly gee personality. But she has sung her best the last couple of weeks. And I'm afraid she's gaining support. Still, I'm going to guess Bottom Three. If it's not her, I'm worried about Brooke.

And going home will be...Syesha! Maybe for all the wrong reasons, but she can't keep ending up in the bottom three without paying the price sooner or later.

Veronica Mars And McLovin' Together!

It's from funnyordie.com, and it really is funny, and I found it via tvaddict.com. Now, rock the spot:

I Never Did Trust That Candy Mountain

I don't know what it is with unicorns, but they seem to be the favorite mythical creatures of animators who are filled with rage and sarcasm. Just look at this video, which I found over at Blame It On The Voices.

Quips Of The Times: "Top Chef" Swears Too Much

It's odd that "Top Chef" is getting singled out for profanity, because it's a later-evening cable show that could probably get away with uncensored swearing, while "Hell's Kitchen" is earlier and broadcast and has far more anger in its dirty words. Still, as the Times says, "Bravo’s censors leave much of the offending syllables intact. Words are not exactly bleeped out; they’re bleeped at. Instead of a fig leaf, the network holds up a sprig of parsley."

Oh, Hey, A New "Smallville" Clip

Attention "Smallville" fans: A new episode tomorrow night! Somebody important dies, and Lex Luthor (Michael Rosenbaum) finally turns evil, the way we knew he always would.

"Men In Trees" Fans Turn To Charity

This is a promising development in fan-based activism: Along the lines of the "Moonlight" blood drive, fans of "Men In Trees" have begun donating money to tree-planting charity Trees For Life in an effort to convince TV execs to keep the show.

It might or might not be enough to save the show, but at the very least they'll have planted some trees.

Your Morning Gay Hollywood Update

OK, big whoop surprise, but Luke MacFarlane (right) has come the rest of the way out of the closet, saying the time is right because Scotty, his character on "Brothers & Sisters," is going to marry his boyfriend, Kevin, in the May 11 episode and become a series regular by doing so. MacFarlane, you may remember, has been linked in real life to "Grey's Anatomy" gay champion T.R. Knight, who plays straight on the show but was at the center of the backstage dustup that got Isaiah Washington fired. He's also been photographed with "Prison Break" hunk Wentworth Miller, whose sexuality has been the subject of much speculation and who got dragged into the issue again by MacFarlane's announcement.

Morning Links: House And More

• Maureen Ryan has an awesomely substantive interview with "House" producer David Shore that gives a lot of info if you read carefully. Supposedly this is only part of the interview, too. (The Watcher)
• Jenny Garth is out of the "My Best Friend's Girl" comedy pilot, leading to speculation that she may reprise her "90210" character, Kelly, in the new version of that show. Writer Rob Thomas was said to be seeking her. (Hollywood Reporter)
• Just one problem. Thomas is stepping back from the "90210" gig to focus on his two other pilots (for ABC), so Fox is looking for a new showrunner. (E! Online)
• CNN knuckles under and apologizes to the Chinese after Jack Cafferty tells the truth about their government. Did Rupert Murdoch buy CNN and I missed it? (Reuters)
• "Dancing With The Stars" ratings drop even as Priscilla Presley is punted. (Hollywood Reporter)
• Bravo talks about its upcoming shows, including the last of "Project Runway" before it moves to Lifetime. (Broadcasting & Cable)

But enough seriousness. Please enjoy this video montage of "Star Trek Orgasms," courtesy of the fine folks at College Humor:

See more funny videos at CollegeHumor

"K-Ville" Refugee Rescued By "L&O," Not FEMA

The best thing about Fox's short-lived "K-Ville" was Anthony Anderson's fully committed performance (right) as a native N'awlins cop grappling with the desperation that Hurricane Katrina visited on his beloved city. His character was the most convincing piece of local color in a series that had a lot of them, although "K-Ville" was quickly dragged down by cop-show cliches. ("The Wire" auteur David Simon is said to be working on a New Orleans series, and if he had helmed "K-Ville," it would have been a much realer, better show, worthier of Anderson's performance and the city.)

Now that "K-Ville" has been canceled, we will at least get to see more of Anderson with a badge and gun. He's joining NBC's "Law & Order," replacing the departing Jesse L. Martin on one of TV's all-time-busiest casting merry-go-rounds. The "L&O" format dictates that he has relatively limited space in which to create a character, but rest assured he'll do a great job. And his if-looks-could-kill look is, well, a killer. Look out, perps.

Tonight's Picks: Wednesday, April 16

America's Next Top Model
It's the episode where everyone prepares for their international debut by learning manners. Fatima has some trouble with her passport.

Top Chef
Challenge: Given a cocktail, make a dish that goes with it. Guest judge: Paul Kahan.

American Idol
You could be watching the PBS special on illicit trade in the global economy. You could be learning something other than which mediocre singer is getting voted off.  Smacks of effort, though.

The Perfect Cat Video From Japan

From the same people who brought you the video of a cat playing a theremin (while another cat watches!), here is the perfect short cat video from Japan. What I love about it is that it's got everything you need in a video of cats, and nothing more.

Note the pause, the buildup, the comedic punch, all delivered in a tiny package. "Saturday Night Live," with its bloated five-minute one-joke sketches, could learn a lot from this auteur. Even "Robot Chicken" has nothing on this guy for brevity, and as we all know, brevity is the soul of wit. I will say no more. Just watch:

A friend of mine says he's concerned that that these are not clearly and obviously cats of another land. He insists that, since they are Japanese, they should somehow be cooler than they are now. Perhaps they need cute floppy socks, or impossible tentacles, or impossible tentacles with floppy socks on them. I disagree. Toshiro Mifune didn't need either of those things to convey his implacable drive, and neither do these kittens.

"American Idol" Reminds You To Vote!

Tonight, "American Idol" reminds you that you absolutely must vote. Not for president, of course. Nobody cares about that, and besides, Rupert Murdoch and Fox Corporation have already picked a winner. They mean you should vote for the person who can sing Mariah Carey (at right) songs the best.

Yes, Mariah is the guest today, and she'll be listening as every single one of our top seven contestants breaks the Diva Rule and tries to sing Mariah. Let's get the spoiler out of the way: Nobody else has those pipes. Why bother? Mariah's just going to sit there and watch her songs butchered.

Don't feel bad for her, though. She's got a good reason to show up: She's got a new new album out. Just by coincidence, you know. Also, while promoting that album on "Oprah," she happened to talk about her closet. Now, I don't lose sympathy for someone because they have more storage space than I do, but when one of their closets is three times the size of my apartment, I feel kind of mean. When that person has a secondary "small" closet just slightly larger than my apartment just for her underwear, I lose each final shred of sympathy. Yes, Mimi has a lingerie closet. If you understand what I'm getting at here, you can see why I think it's fair to strap her down and make her listen to hour after hour of "Idol" contestants trying to sing her entire back catalog.

I don't doubt that they combine this kind of musical trainwreck with waterboarding and sleep deprivation at Gitmo.

"Bones" Has Some Great Lessons For Lovers, Murderers, And Park Rangers

Lovers: "Bones" says you should never get into a hot spring if you can't see the bottom, and definitely should not make out in a mud-filled hot spring where you can't see the bottom, and the mud might be hiding a defleshed skeleton.

Murderers: Don't dump a body in the sort of mud-pit where people go to make out.

Park Rangers: When a cop says they need all the mud from a mud-pit, they need all the mud.

How Much Do You Love "The Price Is Right?"

I admit it, I've watched "The Price Is Right" more than once. I must have seen it first when I was young, staying home from school with a cold, and I saw it again when I was unemployed and lonely awhile ago and used TV as a substitute for human interaction. And of course, as a TV critic, I watched a few of the episodes when Drew Carey joined as host. But I don't think I'd ever go so far as to buy a DVD box set of the best episodes to watch them again and again. But that's just what some people are doing. Slate even has a slideshow about the history of "Price." Bless their hearts, TV fans are really weird.

Here's a clip from the most recent variant of the show, the prime-time "Million Dollar Spectacular:"

Moore Develops Show For Fox; Fans Hold Breath

It looks like "Battlestar Galactica's" Ron Moore (right) is jumping on board the FoxWagon. Moore is reportedly developing a series called "Virtuality," and can I be the first to lodge a "that's a stupid name" complaint? It's about a dozen deep space astronauts who are stuck in space for ten years and turn to virtual reality to keep themselves entertained. So basically it's "Star Trek: Holodecks Gone Wild."

They've got a word for scifi shows on Fox that aren't "The X-Files," and it's not a nice one. No fan hears the words scifi and Fox in the same sentence without starting to twitch and mumble about "Firefly" under their breath. It looks like this fall Fox is turning its attention to scifi in a big way, so we can look forward to at least a couple of brilliant shows that we pick up the "complete series box set" for a couple months later. "Lost's" JJ Abrams is working on "Fringe," which at least sounds enough like "The X-Files" to have a fighting chance, and of course Joss Whedon, who apparently is enough of an optimist to try it again despite being the index case for Fox's mishandling of genre shows, is putting together the decidedly creepy and awesome sounding "Dollhouse." I'm going to start a pool to see if any of them survive a first season, who's got a bet?

Australian TV: "Angels And Demons"

No, not the prequel to "The DaVinci Code." In this case, I'm talking about a documentary from Australia about mental illness, part of a news series called "Enough Rope." You can watch it free online, although US viewers may find the video a little choppy from time to time, since it's streaming from servers on the other side of the planet.

Morning Schmear Of TV News

• Live ads are making a comeback as one way to beat the DVR, and Jimmy Kimmel will be the next to offer them. (AdWeek)
• Writers strike cost "Desperate Housewives" some viewers, it appears. (Hollywood Reporter)
• CBS unveils big summer plans including - finally - plans to put "Swingtown" on the air. (Hollywood Reporter)
• First peek at the new girl on "Gossip Girl" - Michelle Trachtenberg of "Buffy." But - to your right - we found one they didn't have. (TV Addict)
• A look at the season finale of "New Amsterdam." (TV Squad)
• Our friend Tim Goodman lowers himself to praising CBS Monday comedies. Sort of. Still snobby, dude. (SFGate)
• Anderson Cooper for Katie Couric? Theo Epstein wouldn't make that trade. (TV Squad)
• Verdict on last night's "How I Met Your Mother." (TV Squad)

Get Interrogated By Ice T Without Committing A Crime

If you've always wanted to experience the thrill of being interrogated by Ice-T, but haven't had the guts to commit a crime worthy of the "Law & Order: SVU" squad, now's your chance. In honor of a new season of "SVU" arriving tonight, they've launched a virtual interrogation minisite. You can even your friends dragged in by Ice-T and see if they'll sustain your alibi!

It makes for great pranks, too: click here to have Ice demand to know whether you know ALF, the sitcom muppet from outer space.

Tonight's episode is decidedly more serious: Detective Benson goes undercover as a prison inmate to expose a corrupt guard.

Contestant Typing: I.B. Negative

The Boston Globe has a funny story this morning analyzing what might be key moments for contestants on shows like "American Idol" and "Dancing With The Stars" - when they react to the judges' comments. Snap back and you could end up looking like a bitchy diva who ought to be voted off. Hello, Danny Noriega! Or rather, goodbye, Dan-o! But sniffle and confess all your failings and cheerfully accept Simon's abuse and you could end up looking like, well, Brooke White. The story has put me back to thinking that maybe "sheepish talent" David Archuleta (right) will pull it out over rocker David Cook after all - Cook's slightly odd approach to the judges might not go over as well with 12-year-old girls "Idol" voters as well as Archuleta's wide-eyed, grinning, You mean I really am good? look. Although seeing it week after week it's getting a little hard to credit the kid's sincerity.