TV with MeeVee

Morning Reading:

• No jail time for former "CSI" star Gary Dourdan, despite getting popped with smack, coke, ecstasy. (TV Squad)
• David Cook formally accepts his "American Idol" indentured servitude record contract. Remember when he had pink hair and wore scarves? (E! Online)
• The "Idol" finale got the largest TV audience that will assemble for many months. Like, until the next "Idol" finale? (AP)
• Dueling celebrity trainwrecks? Having Lindsay Lohan guest on your show ("Ugly Betty") doesn't do as much for the ratings as having Britney Spears guest on your show ("How I Met Your Mother"). (E! Online)
• More dirt on the bad blood between SAG and AFTRA over AMPTP negotiations. Apparently AFTRA wasn't in a rush to fill SAG in on the deal they signed. (Deadline Hollywood Daily)
• Final digits on just how spectacularly screwed the networks were ratingswise this season - except Fox. (TV By The Numbers)

The Brit *Is* Back on "How I Met Your Mother"

Producer Craig Thomas confirmed to Kristin at E! Online that, as rumored, Britney Spears IS back on the set at "How I Met Your Mother" today, shooting what will air as the next-to-last episode of the season. Supposedly Abby, her character, and Barney will pair up at least long enough to rub it in Ted's face. Which is pretty ironic since Neil Patrick Harris, who plays Barney, got in hot water a few days ago for saying that "HIMYM" doesn't need stunt casting like this to be a good show. They made him eat his words, too.

Fact is, Britney's last guest appearance brought a million new viewers to the show, seemingly ensuring a renewal for next season. So I guess we should all be glad she's back to close the deal. Right? Right?

(Right, Josh Radnor as Ted and Her Britness as Abby last time around.)

Britney Spears Smells A Rat, Or Something

According to the New York Post, Britney bailed on a recent photoshoot for her new perfume. Nobody's sure why, but she got angry and left in a huff. A Socialite's Life figures it was a lack of Cooler Ranch Doritos at the food table, and wants to know what the perfume smells like: "Weave glue, Red Bull and Bugles?"  I'd say it's more likely to smell like Newports, wilted roses, and kerosene, but that's just me.

The Post says this is all part of her recent attempts to "take control of her life." Typically, she's taking control in her own way- by doing whatever the hell she wants, whenever the hell she wants. And that of course is why we still love her in our own twisted way.

Britney Spears Finally Forgives Mom For Being Responsible

Britney Spears appears to have done something right for a change. The wild child has reportedly decided to forgive her mother for encouraging Brit to go to rehab. Mother Spears was on Britney's long list of people to blame for all of her scandalous behavior over the last few months, and the pop singer had been holding quite the grudge. Doesn't Britney know that mom is always right?

Read more at The Gossip Girls

Justin Timberlake Takes A Shot At Britney Spears In Concert

Justin Timberlake doesn't seem to be letting go of his bad feelings towards his ex-girfriend Britney Spears. Timberlake has made several digs at Britney since the couple's high-profile breakup years ago. Now's he's gone and done it again, changing the lyrics of Amy Winehouse's hit song "Rehab" to apply to Spears in a recent concert.

Hear exactly what he sang at The Hollywood Gossip

Britney Spears Is Officially Embarrassing Her Family

Britney Spears's strange behavior may be entertaining to the general public, but her family is reportedly not amused. Brit's aunt is the latest relative to speak out about the pop star's recent antics and urge Britney to clean up her act.

Get the full scoop over at PopSugar >>

Topless Britney Spears Photos Hit the Internet, Adding One Grain of Sand to the Beach

See the photos here!

Britney Spears is at it again. Conveniently timed right in the middle of her House Of Blues comeback tour, photos of the pop star posing topless in a garden with flowers covering her nipples have popped up all over the Internet. This girl simply doesn’t like wearing clothes.

Britney Spears to Write Tell-All Book About All That Stuff We Already Know

Let’s face it: We normal folks like to pretend we know all about celebrities, based on what we see and read. We judge them, we criticize their every action, and we try to make ourselves feel better about being nobodies. So when they write autobiographies, we sometimes get to see a whole different side of them. This will probably not be the case when Britney Spears writes her tell-all book.

Britney Spears Blames Her Manager for Recent Downward Spiral

Britney Spears seems to be getting back on track these days. She’s hard at work preparing for an upcoming small venue tour, and she’s stayed out of the news by keeping her clothes on and not attacking any inanimate objects. But now a bizarre video has surfaced on the web, in which Brit goes on a very sarcastic rant about how nice the media is and how great a decision it was for her manager Larry Rudolph to send her to rehab.

Britney Spears Gets the Kids, K-Fed Gets a Measly $1 Million In Divorce Settlement

California divorce settlements just aren’t what they used to be. There was a time when the kids would go to the parent who wasn’t completely insane, and the money would get split down the middle. But this isn’t the case for the Britney Spears-Kevin Federline divorce. The former couple reached an agreement last week that grants K-Fed only $1 million of Britney’s estimated $100 million fortune, and gives the pop diva custody of their two sons, mere days after she checked out of the worst rehab stint in history.

What a country.

Britney Spears Checks Out Of Rehab After “Successful” Stint

Pop princess Britney Spears has checked out of the luxurious Promises rehab facility in Malibu after almost one month of treatment. Her manager is calling her stint in rehab a success, but there’s plenty of evidence to contradict that statement. While in rehab, Britney popped in and out of treatment for shopping sprees, allegedly went berserk and wrote “666” on her forehead, spent most of her time on her cell phone, and got bad marks from the staff for not taking her treatment seriously or admitting she has a problem. Yep, sounds like quite a success.

Britney Spears Adds Bulimia and Bipolar Disorder To Already Impressive Resume of Problems

The Britney Spears Experience has become quite a ride. Each new twist seems to eclipse the last. Now at least one source is reporting that Spears suffers from bulimia and bipolar disorder. These two conditions seem to complement her multitude of other problems quite nicely. In case you’re keeping score at home, we’ve got alcoholism, drug addiction, postpartum depression, exhibitionism, and now bulimia and bipolar disorder.

Britney Spears Claims To Have Postpartum Depression, Continues To Behave Badly In Rehab

Britney Spears thinks she's pinpointed her problem: postpartum depression. This self-diagnosis comes shortly after Britney reportedly started reading Brooke Shields's famous book on that subject. Spears still refuses to admit that she has a substance abuse problem, which may not be helping her progress at the swanky Promises rehab center in Malibu.

K-Fed Shaves His Head "Extra Bald" In Support of Troubled Britney Spears

Kevin Federline and Britney Spears might just deserve each other after all. Federline has reportedly shaved his head “extra bald” in a show of support for his struggling ex-wife, following reports of her recent suicide attempt.

Britney Spears Reportedly Attempts Suicide After Writing “666” On Her Head

This Mouseketeer's story just keeps getting cheesier. The London tabloid News of the World is reporting that troubled pop star Britney Spears took her breakdown to a whole new level last week, at the luxurious Promises rehab facility in Malibu. The Britster allegedly wrote “666” on her newly bald head, and screamed, “I am the Antichrist!” before trying to hang herself from a light fixture with a rolled-up bed sheet.

K-Fed Plays Hubbie, Visits Britney in Rehab

According to Extra TV and our dear dear friends at Seriously OMG! WTF?, Britney and/or her various handlers have decided is best for her to remain in rehab for the long haul. K-Fed, being the responsible and loving husband that he normally is, rose to the occasion by paying her a visit.

Full story at Seriously OMG! WTF?

Britney Spears Checks Back Into Rehab After Attacking Car With An Umbrella

They say there's no such thing as bad publicity, but Britney Spears may have just found the exception to that rule. Spears has landed back in rehab for the third time in just a week, after taking out some serious frustration on a paparazzi-owned vehicle.

It all started when the newly bald Britney was refused entry to Kevin Federline's Los Angeles home...

Britney Spears Agrees: Rehab Chic is Back

The term rehab€ used to be easy to understand. It referred to a place where folks went to get help with their drug and alcohol problems. People generally tried to do this as quietly as possible. That was then. Now rehab can mean just about any kind of counseling. It's become the place to go for celebrities who get caught doing naughty things.