TV with MeeVee

Morning Links on Jason Castro's Last Day on "Idol"

Man, last night was uhg-leee on "American Idol." Dreadlocks Boy is definitely going home, unless there's some sort of rift in the time-space-tweener girl continuum. So we're counting down the minutes to the results show. In the meantime...

• "Hannah Montana" ratings took a big hit this week. Could it really be that ginned-up Vanity Fair photo controversy? Does that at least give us an excuse to run the picture again? (TV By The Numbers)
• Obsessive analysis of the identity of the last Cylon mole on "Battlestar Galactica." (Cellounge)
• The "Veronica Mars" Cruise. Oh dear. (Cruise to Mars)
• "Smallville" season finale spoilers. (TV Addict)
• Josh Radnor reassures fans about the return of "How I Met Your Mother." (TV Squad)
• Last night's episode gives fresh evidence why "Reaper" must be renewed. More Gladys!!! (TV Squad)
• Our friend Tim Goodman's Monday column had some plain-talk common sense for network executives. Which will of course be ignored. Sigh. (SF Gate)

Disney thanks heaven for little girls - but only overseas

Miley Cyrus got nothin' on the nubiles in Disney-branded Chinese lingerie ads. Slate offers a thoughtful piece here, with a pic of a Beijing billboard. TMZ offers a somewhat giddier take, complete with a photo gallery of pix like the one at right. So maybe, Mickey Rat, you could be just a little less hypocritical about the whole Miley/Vanity Fair thing, eh?

Morning Links With Bare Shoulders By Annie Leibovitz

Saving "Reaper" from the cancellation scythe? (LA Times)
Fixing CW in general. (Reuters)
Gale Harold joining "Desperate Housewives." (Televisionista)
I'm not the only one with a contrarian rant about the Miley Cyrus brouhaha. (Televisionista)
"House" episode deconstructed. "Other hand!" Funny! (TV Squad)
"Gossip Girl" recap - what are they saying about Miley? (Buddy TV)

The Miley Cyrus stunt - I mean, scandal.

I really wasn't going to write anything about this, but once they put it on all the evening newscasts, I just had to ask a few questions...

1) War in Iraq. War in Afghanistan. Osama bin Laden still on the loose. Waterboarding. Secret CIA prisons.  Genocide and starvation in Darfur. Global warming. The economy cratering. Gas headed for $4 a gallon. A presidential election. AND THERE'S STILL TIME ON THE EVENING NEWS FOR HANNAH MONTANA???

2) Have you watched the behind-the-scenes video or looked at the behind-the-scenes slide show of the photo shoot on Vanity Fair's site? Was 15-year-old Miley Cyrus a victim of an unscrupulous photog? Her dad, grandma, stylist, publicist and probably several Disney secret police agents were there, and even if dad left early, it's highly unlikely that the group would have let even Annie Leibovitz talk them into anything they didn't want Miley to do. And c'mon, look at her face there - she knows exxxxactly what she's doing. Plus: Stars often demand photo approval - not to mention text approval - on magazine spreads anyway. Does anyone really believe she didn't want this picture out? Does anyone believe her apology is anything more than damage control? Does anyone really think she's unhappy about all this publicity?

3) Bringing sexy back - in this case literally - is a rite of passage for female teen starlets. Ask Britney. Ask Lindsay. Ask Vanessa. One way or another they all start shakin' it. They were all virginal role models too. Moms, are you really surprised this happened to Hannah Montana? Really?

4) Have you seen the rest of the pictures? The really troubling one is where she's wearing a belly shirt and lying across her dad like they're a hot couple. What is that all about, anyway?

5) That picture up there. She does look kinda hot, doesn't she?

How Wholesome Is "High School Musical" Anyway?

Shows like "High School Musical," "Zoey 101," "The Naked Brothers Band," and "Hannah Montana" have gotten a lot of love from parents and young viewers in the past couple of years. They're not very dirty, which is a real relief to parents, but they also don't talk down to kids. Wholesome entertainment isn't much good if it isn't actually entertaining, and the latest explosion in youth media seems to do a pretty good job of satisfying everyone.

But how wholesome are they, really? And can they satisfy absolutely everyone? OneNewsNow, a media outlet sponsored by the American Family Association, investigated, and found that "High School Musical" mentioned such works of the devil as evolution and yoga, and included hand-holding, lingering glances, and even kisses between unmarried couples. And of course, it also features dancing.

Similarly, while the other shows get praise for not including sex and nudity, they still show boys with their shirts off where the story requires it, and you can see the legs, arms, and even necklines of young ladies. And we all know that "Zoey 101" star Jamie Lynn Spears is both unmarried and pregnant. It would be one thing if she'd gone into hiding or had a secret abortion, since she could continue to be a good role model by lying about her sexual activities, but for some reason she's insisted on continuing to exist.

In other words, if your child ever grows up or learns about the outside world, you are definitely going to go to hell. So, don't let them out of your sight and don't let them near a television.

Morning Reading: Zac Efron, Stephen Colbert, "The Office"

• Shopping with Mindy Kaling, aka Kelly Kapoor of "The Office" (right). (NY Times)
• "The Colbert Report" to broadcast from Philly all week in effort to make Pennsylvania primary even more ironic. (AP)
• Meanwhile ABC's Charlie Gibson is prepping for Wednesday's Clinton-Obama debate in Philly, which he'll moderate. (Hollywood Reporter)
• Advance word on the Disney Channel '08-09 sked. They'll, um, probably renew "Hannah Montana." (Buddy TV)
• "High School Musical" star Zac Efron to play gay twins? I think somebody's dreaming. (Buddy TV)
• Did "Gossip Girl" flacks try a little trickery to stir up buzz? Duh. (TV Addict)
• All the news on scheduling of "Lost" and "Grey's" season finales, including those extra hours. (TV Guide)

"Hannah Montana" Exposes Children To Lead, Poor Taste

Miley Cyrus may be a good influence on her young fans, but Miley-branded products - manufactured in China for Disney and sold at Wal*Mart - are loaded with lead, according to CNN and the Center For Environmental Health. Oops.

Sweet niblets! Keep your mouth off that vinyl Hannah Montana purse!

Morning Reading: Miley No Longer Destiny's Child

• Everybody calls her Miley Ray Cyrus, so she's ditching that pesky birth name, with mom and dad's permission. Makes signing all those checks so much easier. (E! Online)
• More bad news for "Jericho" fans: The Numbers. (Hollywood Reporter)
• "American Idol" gadfly Votefortheworst.com has chosen Amanda Overmyer to support this year. Maybe just because she has Sanjaya hair. (E! Online)
• Wow, our second Joss Whedon item of the day. Apparently he's got Neil Patrick Harris and Nathan Fillion in a three-part web musical he wrote during the strike. (GMMR)
• George Clooney not to be dragged into "ER" finale. Once again, he's making all the right moves. (TV Squad)

Finally, everybody on the Internet this morning is posting the CBS pic of Britney Spears on the set of next week's "How I Met Your Mother" episode, with Josh Radnor and Sarah Chalke, so here it is. Now is it just me, or does she look like her meds just kicked in?

A Full Length "Hannah Montana" Movie Rumored

After sellout crowds at every "Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus: Best Of Both Worlds" show, Disney made a 3D, limited-engagement concert movie (the poster, at left, features Miley and her alter ego), which opened this weekend and kicked everything else out of the way.

The "Best Of Both Worlds" movie snagged double the box office take of its nearest competitor, sold more advance tickets than any other concert movie offered through online ticket systems, and may even become the top selling concert movie of all time. Miley Cyrus herself, some say, could be a billionaire before she's twenty.

She's certainly making all the right moves to do it.  Celebitchy says there's a second movie in the works, this one a feature film based on the "Hannah Montana" TV show. Filming is set for this summer, and mania is scheduled to begin six weeks before the film's release.

Hannah Montana, Jamie Lynn Spears And JoJo: Let's Get Teen-y

Teenagers are not just big business but gi-normous. And there's lots of news from the youth front in Hollywood...

• The opening spot on the Miley Cyrus/Hannah Montana tour has been an awesome launch pad for the career of the Jonas Brothers. They've signed a deal with LiveNation to headline they're own tour beginning soon after this month's end to the current gig. (Buddy TV)
• By the way, word is that Joe Jonas may be dating teen pop sensation JoJo Levesque. (Boston Globe)
• "High School Musical 3" will start shooting in Utah in April. About seven weeks of shooting are scheduled to begin April 21, with the movie hitting theaters - not TV - later this year. (Salt Lake Tribune)
• And - SPOILER ALERT - here's a recap of Friday's season-ending cliffhanger episode of "Zoey 101," starring Jamie Lynn Spears. Fans were left wondering just how things will work out between London-bound Zoey and her "best guy friend" Chase. Everyone else is left wondering whether Spears' pregnancy at 16 will affect the fate of the fourth season of the show, already shot and due in February.

Miley Cyrus! Vanessa Hudgens! Two Quick Links For The Fans

Junior Celebs sent some fan questions to "Hannah Montana" star Miley Cyrus. Young Miss Cyrus is nearly universally popular: Just yesterday I had to explain the difference between Miley Cyrus and Miley Stewart to someone who doesn't even have kids.

The Gossip Girls have a whole bunch of photos of Vanessa Hudgens from her recent appearance in Washington D.C.

Miley Cyrus And Other Non-Strike Links

ONTD has the text of an interview with "Hannah Montana" star Miley Cyrus in Girl's Life Magazine. Big scoop: Ashley Tisdale has a poorly trained dog that pees in her bed. Eeeew!

The Chicago Tribune selects the 25 worst TV shows of all time. Yes, "Cavemen" is on it, and by comparison "Homeboys From Outer Space" seems like a good idea. What's your take?

"American Idol" will take a cue from "Next Great American Band" and include instruments. More importantly, they're cutting back on the celebrity mentors to focus more on the contestants. Hey, a contest that's about the contestants! What an idea! Also, it'll be cheaper to produce because they won't have to pay appearance fees. But that's not why they're doing it. Honest.

"Weeds" will get a 4th season... assuming any writers are available. Oops, I mentioned the strike in the non-strike post. Sorry about that.

New show idea: A soap opera based on bible stories like King David and Bathsheba! It'll appeal to the "Meerkat Manor" crowd, I guess?

There's a "Chuck" recap at GMMR. You know, I'd thought "Reaper" had a lot more potential, but "Chuck" has managed to do a better job of executing, and "Reaper" just seems stuck in a monster-of-the-week rut.

Hannah Montana on Ellen

Goofing off with daddy, and talking about how cute the Jonas boys are:

Did Miley Cyrus Get Some Dental Work Done?

ONTD has pictures that suggest she did!

Can't Get Tickets For The "Hannah Montana" Show? Neither Can Anyone Else

It's as though a concert promoter or ticket reseller had acted unethically! Pollstar reports that parents are going nuts trying to score tickets for their Miley Cyrus/Hannah Montana-crazed youngsters.

For many, it's the first time they've tried to buy scarce event tickets, and they're crying foul when they find that they're only available through resellers at exorbitant prices.

Miley Cyrus is doing 54 shows across the US, many in venues holding upwards of 20,000 people, but all the tickets sold out in minutes. Now they're for sale on sites like GoTickets.com, where the cheapest seats for the January 7th show at the Washington, D.C., Verizon Center are $215, and rise to an an astonishing $1825 for a spot in the VIP club level.

The concert promoters say it's unfortunate, but that's how hot shows go. Miley herself wasn't available for comment, but I'm guessing her response would involve some kind of "xoxoxo" at the end of it, and a picture with one of those MySpace-esque kiss-pouts she seems to be specializing in right now. Maybe she'll schedule some more shows, but 54 already seems like a lot of appearances for a 14-year-old who still has school and a TV show to do.

Uncool parents will probably just have to settle for teaching their kids an important lesson about supply, demand, and the cruelties of the music business. Cool parents, though will sell their organs to put their kids to the VIP club level. I hear ol' Billy Ray could use a new kidney.

Disney Presents The Next Tween Rock Stars: The Jonas Brothers

 With the hyper-success of “High School Musical 2” and “Hannah Montana,” Disney is replicating its comedy-musical formula with “J.O.N.A.S.,” which starts production in January and features three real-life singing siblings who already have a string of wholesome hits on Radio Disney.

The Jonas Brothers, who describe their high-energy pop numbers as “music on Red Bull,” will play secret agents in what is billed as a live-action spy comedy. Picture the 1960s TV Monkees – with some talent. The self-described Christian rockers – Nick, Kevin and Joe – already are a hit with the tween set and have gotten some respectful nods from music critics. Their self-titled second album recently reached No. 5 on the Billboard charts.

The brothers also are something of a male Cinderella story. The teens were virtually unknown when represented by Columbia Records, but they shifted to a Disney-backed label and have had success on the music charts. The Disney machine seems committed to making them crossover hits on TV: In addition to “J.O.N.A.S.,” the teen heartthrobs will star in “Camp Rock,” a Disney musical movie currently being filmed in Canada.

“Camp Rock,” which premieres next summer, will feature the boys playing musicians who do a summer gig as camp counselors. Expect a lot of teeny bopper adulation around the campfire. Disney also plans a Jonas Brothers concert special Oct. 6. And the brothers are about to embark on a concert tour with another Disney singer-actor and teen phenom: Miley Cyrus of “Hannah Montana.” (No, despite Perez Hilton's sly winks about it, none of them are dating her.)

Hannah Montana And Billy Ray Cyrus (Updated, Apology)

"Hannah Montana" star Miley Cyrus' mom avoids press (earlier I said she had died; that was a mistake: the mother of Hannah Montana, Cyrus' fictional alter-ego, died, but Tish Cyrus is very much alive; thanks to a commenter who pointed that out to me!) and I couldn't find any pictures of her. But she must have been a very good looking lady, because Miley looks like she's won some kind of genetic lottery prize. Especially when compared to the fug that her father has become. I mean, sure, he was a country-fried hottie back in the "Achy Breaky" days, but what on earth has he done to himself since then? He looks busted!

I guess if he got a decent haircut, got rid of that awful goatee, and ditched the tacky-ass jewelry, he might look better. But right now he looks like that creepy older dude you see at the high-school football games, hitting on cheerleaders.

 

Miley Cyrus Contracts MySpace Photo Syndrome

"Hannah Montana" star Miley Cyrus has succumbed to the dread "MySpace Photo Syndrome," also known as "trout pout." ONTD has posted dozens of pictures of the teen actress and her friends making an unattractive squinched-up face in an effort to be cute and sexy.

This syndrome is most common among teenage girls posting self-portraits on MySpace, often taken by themselves at arm's length. It has also been known to appear in teenage boys, where it typically manifests as a ridiculous "tough-looking" scowl.

Honey, stick with a nice smile, OK? The kissy-face thing is just awful.

Hannah Montana Goes On Tour

"Hannah Montana" star Miley Cyrus will be going on an arena concert tour with Disney stablemates the Jonas Brothers. The shows begin on October 18th at the Scotttrade Center in St. Louis, and end in Albany on January 9th, 2008.

Somehow, tickets are cropping up on StubHub for nearly $500, even though Forbes says the tickets don't officially go on sale until August 18th.

Miley Cyrus will be donating $1 from every ticket sold to the City of Hope, a cancer treatment and research center.

Miley Cyrus At Harry Potter Film Premiere

Glitterati Gossip has pictures of "Hannah Montana" actress Miley Cyrus at the premiere of "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix" movie, and they gave me a great idea: Miley Cyrus should be one of Ginny Weasley's clasmates. It totally makes sense. All she needs is a British accent. Or maybe she could be an exchange student. Why not?

This probably explains why I will never get a job in film.