TV with MeeVee

Fox Announces 2008-09 Season Plans

Fox wants you to feel their electricity. No, really. "“Broadcast television needs a jolt. We feel it’s our responsibility, as the No. 1 network for the last four seasons, to provide that electricity,” Fox Broadcasting Entertainment Chairman Peter Liguori says in remarks  prepared for his upfront presentation to advertisers in New York today.

The schedule announced this morning puts the most focus on dramas from J.J. Abrams ("Lost") and Joss Whedon ("Buffy the Vampire Slayer"). The network is not exactly reinventing the wheel, but they are putting something besides repeats on Friday night. And the bloated "American Idol" results show gets cuts back to a half hour in '09.

Fox executives on a conference call with reporters this morning admit that, like the other networks, Fox has fewer new shows due to the writers strike's disruption of the development cycle. Of course, when you're the most-watched network among total viewers as well as viewers 18-49 ...no worries mon. And they say they actually have shows in development now for all the way to the start of 2010.

Two new series debut in the fall:

"Fringe" (above), a thriller from Abrams, stars newcomer Anna Torv, Joshua Jackson and John Noble as allies thrown together to investigate weirdness emanating from a mysterious Boston plane crash. Think "Lost" meets "The X-Files." It will air behind "House" on Tuesday nights in the fall.

"Do Not Disturb" is a comedy with Jerry O'Connell as a manager at an upscale New York hotel; Jason Bateman of "Arrested Development" will direct some episodes.

The "24" prequel also airs in November, as we reported earlier this morning. One Fox exec on the call just termed it "a really cool piece of standalone business."

Coming after the first of the year - along with "24" and "American Idol" - are four more new series, including another giving-it-away reality show, called "Secret Millionaire."

The year's most anticipated drama is Whedon's "Dollhouse" (right). Eliza Dushku, who enlivened the final seasons of "Buffy," stars as one of an underground group who have their personalities "wiped" and replaced with new ones in order to better carry out their secret missions.

In the spring we'll see two comedies, the unlikely "Family Guy" spinoff "Cleveland" and the animated "Sit Down, Shut Up," from "Arrested Development" creator Mitchell Hurwitz. That's about a group of less-than-dedicated teachers, with Bateman leading the voice cast.

Tidbits from the conference call:

Someone just asked the execs how they decided whether to give "Fringe" or "Dollhouse" the fall launch. Entertainment President Kevin Reilly - I think it was him, anyway - said it was "a high-class problem to have." Whedon had seven scripts written from the get-go, but Abrams finished pilot production sooner. Whdeon welcomed the extra time, the execs said.

Quips Of The Times: "Top Chef" Swears Too Much

It's odd that "Top Chef" is getting singled out for profanity, because it's a later-evening cable show that could probably get away with uncensored swearing, while "Hell's Kitchen" is earlier and broadcast and has far more anger in its dirty words. Still, as the Times says, "Bravo’s censors leave much of the offending syllables intact. Words are not exactly bleeped out; they’re bleeped at. Instead of a fig leaf, the network holds up a sprig of parsley."

Contestant Typing: I.B. Negative

The Boston Globe has a funny story this morning analyzing what might be key moments for contestants on shows like "American Idol" and "Dancing With The Stars" - when they react to the judges' comments. Snap back and you could end up looking like a bitchy diva who ought to be voted off. Hello, Danny Noriega! Or rather, goodbye, Dan-o! But sniffle and confess all your failings and cheerfully accept Simon's abuse and you could end up looking like, well, Brooke White. The story has put me back to thinking that maybe "sheepish talent" David Archuleta (right) will pull it out over rocker David Cook after all - Cook's slightly odd approach to the judges might not go over as well with 12-year-old girls "Idol" voters as well as Archuleta's wide-eyed, grinning, You mean I really am good? look. Although seeing it week after week it's getting a little hard to credit the kid's sincerity.

Changing My Mind About "Hell's Kitchen" Again

It seems like the beginnings of "Hell's Kitchen" episodes are better than the middles and endings. The first episode had Gordon Ramsay mingle with the chefs in disguise, then mock their "signature dishes." It wasn't just yelling- there was critique and humor. But as soon as the actual challenge began, it was apparent that the teams had been given about half the time necessary to prepare for it, and that Ramsay was hamming up his rage for the cameras.

Last night's episode seems to have the same pattern. First, a clever lesson about waste - waking the contestants early and making them sort through last night's trash in their pajamas, then having them cut enormous halibut into dozens of equal portions without wasting any. Then, the restaurant portion of the evening, featuring everyone being unprepared and Ramsay screaming at them for it. Of course they're unprepared: They had no time to prepare. It's like throwing someone into the ocean and then being furious at them for getting wet.

Maybe I'll just watch the first half of next week's episode, but I probably won't watch any of it.

Gordon Ramsay Is A True Culinarian

"I don't understand what Chef Ramsay didn't like about my dish," says "Hell's Kitchen" contestant Matt. He's been asked to produce his "signature dish," on tonight's season premiere, and says that he knows exactly what Chef Ramsay wants because he's "a true culinarian." Not quite: The combination of chocolate, scallops, capers, venison, and eggs actually made Ramsay vomit.

"Hell's Kitchen" has way more ad-hominem attacks and vicious putdowns than a Bravo production, but it just might be more serious about food than "Top Chef." At the very least, it's got less product placement. And as I said last week, host Gordon Ramsay seems genuinely offended and hurt when people mistreat his beloved culinary art.

I'm amused enough that I plan to watch at least another episode or two. Readers: Do you want my running commentary?

Spoiler Warning: My Predictions For This Week's Shows

I don't have insider confirmation about the following stories, but I'm pretty confident in my powers of prediction and guesstimation. Beware my spoilers! They have more spoilage than day-old meat in the back of a Japanese dekotora (at left)!

On Tuesday, "American Idol" contestants will be singing Dolly Parton songs. Despite country being her natural genre, horsey girl Kristy Lee Cook will screw up badly.

The other week, Gordon Ramsay told us that he doesn't enjoy swearing and that he can stop at any time. He'll prove it tomorrow night on the season premiere of "Hell's Kitchen," which will feature no rage or anger at all. He's turned over a completely new leaf and will gently correct any mistakes he sees in the kitchens of his new proteges.

On "Top Model" this week, the girls do go-sees - that is, client visits. At least one of them is going to get horribly lost, show up late, and blame a totally innocent cab driver for her poor planning.

I'm not naming names, but the winner of "Make Me A Supermodel" on Thursday is irritating and self-centered.

"Lost:" Some crazy shit is going to happen, man. Crazy.

Marco Pierre White Comes To US TV

Marco Pierre White is often described as one of the most eccentric, brilliant chefs in the world. He's perhaps best known for earning three Michelin stars, deciding that the award wasn't worth the suffering and work he'd put into it, and quitting his restaurant. He's also famous for being a hard-ass: He's ejected customers from his restaurant for not appreciating his food correctly, and once reduced a young chef named Gordon Ramsay to tears.

And while he's left the kitchen and turned to the business and consultancy side of the restaurant business, he's still doing some TV as well: He's replaced Ramsay as the host of the UK version of "Hell's Kitchen."

He's now moving to US TV for an NBC production called "The Chopping Block," which will feature teams of eight designing, opening, and running competing restaurants, while facing additional challenges thrown at them by the producers. The show should arrive some time in 2009.

Gordon Ramsay, Swearing Soon In A Kitchen Near You

"Hell's Kitchen" host and taskmaster Gordon Ramsay has had great success with the US adaptation of "Kitchen Nighmares" and it's been renewed for a second season. How does Ramsay manage to produce US and UK versions of two shows and run a couple of restaurants?

I'm guessing he has trustworthy management at his restaurants, and spends most of his time dedicated to TV, where he shoots as many episodes as possible in advance. Even so, it's got to be a grueling pace.

Point being, Gordon Ramsay is doing really well, and so is "Kitchen Nightmares." Tune to Fox on Wednesdays to see struggling restaurants get the tongue-lashing they need to whip them into shape.

Ramsay: "Hey Ladies! I'm Sterile!"

Foul-mouthed chef Gordon Ramsay says years in the kitchen have given him more than just a few light burns: he's got a terribly low sperm count, and thinks it's due to his work. Hey, convenient birth control! Or maybe a real injury to his masculine pride. Either way, really.ha

This might not be the best week for him, really. Turns out his brother's a junkie and will be locked up in an Indonesian prison for the better part of the next year. Gordo says he just can't help anymore. Dude's been through rehab six times or so, and it's breaking their mom's heart.

No wonder he spends all that time swearing.

Ramsay can take at least a little comfort, though, that his recent TV work has been successful enough to kickstart at least one career: "Hell's Kitchen" finalist Ralph Pagano is going to be the host of a new cooking show called "Pressure Cook" on the MOJO network.

How Much Of A Jerk Is Gordon Ramsay?

"Hell's Kitchen" has a new companion, and it's another Gordon Ramsay creation called "Kitchen Nightmares." UK viewers will recognize it; he's had a similar show across the pond for awhile now. He comes into dysfunctional kitchens, screams and swears, and makes things work.

My favorite TV cook, Anthony Bourdain would approve... maybe. He's certainly been in his fair share of macho, profanity-laced kitchens. But how much does a screaming boss really do to change dysfunction? It makes the kitchen pump out something decent, maybe, for awhile. But it's not the best way to do it. You can get better food without making people fear you.

Of course, it's less entertaining to watch someone be nice, be patient, run a busy kitchen that doesn't get too deep in the weeds.  Is being on a Ramsay show miserable for everyone involved? Sure it is. Is he a bad example to aspiring chefs? You bet. Is it fun to watch him flip out every twenty minutes? Hell yeah!

That's the same reaction I have to accusations of fraud leveled against Ramsay's recent productions. Do I really care if the restaurant is better after the show? Do I really care if every customer is there because they like the food, or if they've put half the crew into the shot because they didn't have enough tables filled? It's a reality television show, not a documentary. If you want to know what it's like to become a real chef, watch something like the (very informative) documentary video from the Culinary Institute of America I've included below. If you want exciting train-wrecks, watch Gordon Ramsay.

MeeVee Video Top 5: Food in America--Top Chef, Biggest Loser, Fat March, and more

America has a very strange relationship with food. We treat anorexic celebs like demi-gods, idolize "heroin-chic" models, and have more infomercials about silly ab machines than any other nation in the world. The irony is that most Americans treat their bodies like s***! There's a fast food joint on just about every square block, we drive everywhere, and eat every meal like it's our last. Now the TV networks are starting to cash in on this love-hate relationship with food.

This week, Video Top 5 looks at shows revolving around food. Top Chef 3 is getting ready for its Season 3 premiere in Miami. We have a strong feeling Spaghetti-O's won't be on the menu! We also have extended highlights and outtakes from Hell's Kitchen.

Two shows that exploit the obesity epidemic in our nation are The Biggest Loser and Fat March. We're not sure which title is more offensive, but at least each show is shedding more pounds than a bad water-drinking experience in Tijuana.

On the flip side of the contestants on The Biggest Loser and Fat March are the lovely ladies in the Miss Teen USA competition. Now we're not sure why a pageant like this is televised because it only makes adult men feel sketchy and women envious of bodies they could only dream of having. These girls probably have never even tasted a donut or a Big Mac. And if they have, we're sure they "pulled the trigger" on that operation (if you know what we mean!).

Finally, we have our YouTube Clip of the Week. It's a ridiculous response to a simple question in the Miss Teen USA competition. And what a surprise...it was answered by a blonde!

MeeVee Video Top 5: British Invasion--Coming to America, America's Got Talent, So You Think You Can Dance, and more

They drink tea, have bad teeth, and no longer have the best navy in the world. Yep, we're talking about the British. It's not all tea and crumpets for these lads as we definitely see represented on TV. Our British TV friends are a bit of a wild group and for some reason are apparently good judges of things.  They make for good TVs so we guess we can let them stay.  Just as long as they don't try to tax our stamps and sugar!

Hollywood has a new narcissist in town and her name is Victoria Beckham.  If you haven't seen it already, visit the Beckhams and see why Victoria is more irritating than the Spice Girls overexposure in the 90's.

Next up are our token British judges on America's Got Talent and So You Think You Can Dance.  We don't know why there's a trend of British judges, we just know there is a trend.

Gordon Ramsey is once again featured on Video Top 5 for his brilliant British shenanigans on Hell's Kitchen.  This guy's blood pressure must be off the charts!

Da Ali G Show may not be producing more shows anytime soon, but we just wanted to share the laughter with you.

Last, we have our YouTube Clip of the Week mocking the phenomenon that is HARRY POTTER.

MeeVee Video Top 5: Crazy--Hey Paula, Hell's Kitchen, Real World, and more

We all get a little crazy from time to time, but this week Video Top 5 looks at the kind of crazy that lasts like the Energizer Bunny. We have a lady named Paula  leading the charge who makes her notoriety through diva moves that make Whitney Houston a respectable girl to bring home to mom. Between the pills, the whacked-out TV appearances, and her ridiculous style of clapping, Paula is venturing towards a "Anna Nicole Smith Level of Crazy".

Next we had a chef that needs Xanax like Donald Trump needs a new hair style. See clips of Gordon Ramsey laying into some of his proteges.

Before we lay into the cast of The Real World Vegas, let us first say that not all reality stars are crazy. Some are honest, hard working, down-to-earth citizens. Unfortunately, those handful of rare souls are always overshadowed by the obnoxious, ego-crazed maniacs that find themselves on shows like MTV's The Real World.

Video Top 5 also has some strange clips of the maniacal outdoors man actually named "Bear" from Man vs. Wild, as well as, tons of videos from the zany MADtv cast.

Finally, Dramatic Chipmunk is back as our featured YouTube Clip of the Week. Enjoy!

Casting Call: Los Angeles Area Restaurants -- Are You Ready for Your Close-Up?

If you’re the owner of an restaurant, deli, or bistro in the greater Los Angeles area and you’re ready for a bona fide Resturant Makeover, have we got a show for you!  The producers of Nanny 911 are currently casting for a fast-paced, dynamic new restaurant pilot.  Do you have what it takes to turn up the heat on the competition?

Jan. 17: T.R. Knight Calls Isaiah Washington a Liar, Rachael Ray Gets Renewed, Mocking Kevin Federline

*Grey's Anatomy star calls costar a liar [GMMR]
*Hell's Kitchen returns in the spring [The Futon Critic]
*Renée Zellweger and Luke Perry make a date of it [Glitterati]
*Kevin Federline to mock self in Super Bowl ad [The Hollywood Gossip]
*Rachael Ray gets renewed [Past Deadline]

Casting Call: Gordon Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares

Do you fancy yourself a Top Chef, but know you're in need of a Restaurant Makeover? Are you a first-time restaurant owner who sank your life into your business, and now need help to make it work? Or are you an experienced restaurateur whose newest venture isn't taking off the way you'd hoped?

Look no further -- Fox TV and Chef Gordon Ramsay are now casting a new reality show, Kitchen Nightmares. The award-winning chef, culinary expert, and television personality is searching for restaurants in need of resuscitation. Chef Ramsay is offering his world-famous techniques and management secrets to help turn your business into a profitable and lasting success!

Casting Call: Hell's Kitchen 3

Do you think you have what it takes to WORK SIDE-BY-SIDE WITH WORLD-RENOWNED CHEF GORDON RAMSAY? Do you think YOU can stand the heat in Hell’s Kitchen? If so, we want you!

MeeVee Exclusive: Hell's Kitchen Interview

And the winner is...

Heather West. Meet the 26 year-old New Yorker who, along with millions of viewers, stood in disbelief as Gordon Ramsay unlocked the door to her dreams. So what did the tenacious Hell's Kitchen starlet have to say about her reality feat? And what was up with the whole Rachel 'friendship', anyhow? Let's just say she's ready to get on with her life and considering her impressive work ethic, why are we not surprised?

MeeVee Exclusive: Hell's Kitchen Interview

At six four, Keith’s not exactly someone you’d want to piss off. Instead—he’s the guy you'd want behind you, especially in the kitchen. Meet the latest cast-off of Hell’s Kitchen, who was unexpectedly sent home last night after weeks of near perfection on the show. So how does one go from culinary stud to culinary dud, you ask?  Well, let's leave that to Keith....

MeeVee Exclusive: Hell's Kitchen Interview

Brevity is grits?                                                                                                             

After Gordon Ramsay sent her packin', this feisty Texan let the malicious host of Hell's Kitchen kiss her grits, or at least told him to do so. Meet, Sara, the latest cast-off of FOX's hit reality show who's happy, energetic, and more than ready to serve Mel Gibson a lethal dish of her own.

MeeVee Exclusive: Hell's Kitchen Interview

Interviewing someone over the phone can be an adventure. You never know who or what is going to pop up in the background. Case in point--Garrett from Hell's Kitchen. After discussing his departure from last night's show, the 27 year-old ex-con sounded as if his voice was reverberating on the other end. At first, I thought I was the victim of a fuzzy connection but it turns out Garrett was dropping more than just the dirt on reality TV...

MeeVee Exclusive: Hell's Kitchen Interview

She’s a cafeteria chef by day and a TV show contestant by night, (or at least she used to be). Meet Maribel—the latest cast-off of Hell’s Kitchen who hails from Brooklyn and swears the bad taste in her mouth has nothing to do with Chef Ramsay. I'll give you a hint: it starts with a 'V'...

MeeVee Exclusive: Hell's Kitchen Interview

Meet Rachel--the latest cast off of Hell's Kitchen who, at 39, has her own nutritional company in Texas and swears she had no idea what Hell's Kitchen was before auditioning. Oh, and um, she's mighty polite, ya'll...

MeeVee Exclusive: Hell's Kitchen Interview

A mere two weeks after graduating from culinary school, you wouldn’t expect someone to be vying for their own restaurant, but then again, you haven’t met Tom. Meet the latest castoff from Hell’s Kitchen, who, at 43, is the sweatiest, crankiest contestant on the show. So if you don’t like how they do things in Jersey, you better stay out of the kitchen.

We were sorry to see you go.
So am I. Ya know, I went by way of the Sopranos. I got whacked!

So how is Chef Ramsay off camera? Is he nicer than he is on the show?
Word is he’s a decent guy. If he thinks he’s gonna come to New York and run a restaurant like that, he’s gonna get hung by a meat hook. I don’t know man...

TV with MeeVee Exclusive: Interview with Hell's Kitchen's Giacomo

Have you ever been called a donkey on the job? Well, Giacamo has. Meet the latest cast-off of Hell’s Kitchen, who, at 21, is the proud owner of not only a shaggy mop of hair, but a well respected Texas/Long Island pizzeria. In a MeeVee exclusive, see what the Hell’s Kitchen star had to say about his time on the FOX reality show and why he considers Chef Gordon Ramsay to be El Diablo.

TV with MeeVee: So, let's start with Chef Ramsay. How is he, really? Is he that cruel?
Giacomo: Chef Ramsay is the meanest person you will ever meet in your life. Honestly. If you think it's (just) the show--it's not. He's really like that in real life. I guess you could say that when you're in the kitchen with him, he is the devil. And when you are not in the kitchen he is the nicest person; you want to be the best friend in and out of the kitchen. But when you're in the kitchen, it is a totally different story...