TV with MeeVee

Mid-day reading

• Is Emmy catching up with reality? Could a round of nominations for cable signal a big change in the drama category? (THR)
• Courteney Cox will check into "Scrubs" for a three-episode arc this fall. (E! Online)
• Latest on the actors contract nastiness. (DHD)
• Chloe's husband Morris will fill in on "24" when actress Mary Lynn Rajskub takes a baby break this season. (Buddy TV)
• When Lance Bass joins "Dancing With The Stars," will he partner with a male dancer? Maybe. (TVG)

And finally...I keep meaning to show you this funny crossover promo for "Hellboy II" and "Chuck"...

"Arrested Development" Movie Buzz

An interview that Jason Bateman gave to Britain's Times Online while promoting his role in the Will Smith action flick "Hancock" has, ironically enough, reignited buzz about an "Arrested Development" movie. The Times reports, presumably via Bateman, that the movie will be shot in 2009. “When it was on TV, if you missed one word the whole third act could be blown for you," Bateman said. "And TV is a different experience. You come home and you've got to finish a call so you miss the first ten minutes or you get snacky and you go to the fridge and you miss another two minutes, so it's a different experience to film.”

He also credited the show with his career resurgence: “I owe my adult success to the show. America didn't really watch it but people in LA did and those are the ones who hire us. It gave me an entrance to movies - which was lucky because I had somewhat exhausted my welcome in TV.”

"Dancing With The 'Star Wars' Stars." OMFG.

This theme-park video from a "Star Wars Weekend" at Disney's Hollywood Studios is, well, special. Anyone who would like to take a crack at the semiotics of a theme park stage show imitating a TV reality show while using characters from the "Star Wars" movies dancing to music from the '80s ("Footloose," "Thriller") is encouraged to do so in the comments. I would really like this explained to me so maybe I can stop seeing it every time I close my eyes. Whimper.

Tip of the crack pipe to TV By The Numbers for putting this horror in my head.

Seth Rogen Farts Pure Gold

OK, exaggeration. But the dude is on fire both in front of and behind the camera, thanks partly to the fact that he's really funny ("Knocked Up," "Superbad") and partly to the fact that Judd Apatow thinks so too. The latest news from the Seth Rogen front is that he's scored a feature deal for "Jay And Seth Versus The Apocalypse," to co-star him and Jay Baruchel, the geek hero of Apatow's late, lamented "Undeclared" series.

Rogen's writing partner, Evan Goldberg, and another pal, Jason Stone, cooked up the story, which finds the two actors as stoners surviving and end-of-the-world event a la "The Happening" or "28 Days" later, only to find they're driving each other nuts. The gang cooked up a mock trailer on YouTube that sold Mandate Pictures on the idea.

Here it is:

"Dark Shadows" Movie? Fangs For The Memories

I'm ambivalent about reports that "Dark Shadows" may become a Tim Burton movie with Johnny Depp starring as vampire Uncle Barnabas Collins. They do great work, but the show's real charms seem like they'd be hard to re-create. As a Baby Boomer lad I spent many happy afternoons watching the Gothic soap opera set on the foggy, stormy Maine coast, in a spooky old mansion haunted by family secrets including vampirism and lycanthropy. Jonathan Frid was a creepy marvel as Barnabas. Early episodes were, if memory serves, in black and white. Somehow the incredibly cheesy sets, bad acting and blown lines made the (mostly offscreen) horrors more believable. And like any soap, they were good at using daily cliffhangers to get you to come back tomorrow - with a big one on Friday to make sure you tuned in on Monday. I would wait for weeks for a good look at the face of toothy werewolf Quentin Collins (David Selby)  in full slaver. Here's a couple of videos. The first is the atmospheric opening title sequence - in Spanish with subtitle, for some reason. And then there's a strikingly homoerotic scene with Barnabas and one of his human hunters, in a typically cheesy waterfront-bar set. They say so much, and yet so little...

"Tie A Yellow Ribbon" Isn't About The War

Jenny Mason was born in Korea and adopted by a white family in the Midwestern US. After an uncomfortable "indiscretion" with her white adoptive brother, she heads for New York City to pursue a career in photography. Cut off from her adoptive family, struggling to fit in with white New Yorkers, she's also having a hard time understanding or identifying with Asian-American New Yorkers.

Who is she really, and what does she want? "Tie A Yellow Ribbon," a new indie film coming soon on PBS, explores her identity and the Asian-American experience.

You can see a short preview at yellowribbonmovie.com. Dates and times vary by region, but start some time after May 1.

Veronica Mars And McLovin' Together!

It's from funnyordie.com, and it really is funny, and I found it via tvaddict.com. Now, rock the spot:

"Quarantine:" Yet Another Vampire Virus Movie

I remember hearing about this Spanish horror movie called [rec] awhile back, and it looked kind of cool but I never saw it. Now io9 says they're remaking it for US audiences as "Quarantine," starring Jennifer Carpenter ("Dexter"). In this context, it's more than a simple horror flick, though. It's become a terrifying allegory about the failings of contemporary journalism and the overreach of the Department Of Homeland Security.

Too Soon! Too Unnecessary! Ben-Hur Remade?

With poor dear old Chuck Heston barely in his grave, he's already being given cause to spin in it. Word is that David Wyler (son of William Wyler, who directed the original) is set to remake "Ben-Hur" as a TV mini-series. “We’ve got a joke that this is the family business,” Wyler told Variety. “In my mind this is dedicated to my dad and Chuck. We think it’s a great way to keep his memory alive.”

Okay, Dave, in your mind it's a hat's off to those who came before. In our minds it's yet another gratuitous remake of a movie that's mostly a classic when viewed through the rose-colored glasses of fond nostalgia. The new Ben will get a 30-million dollar make-over, with Christian Duguay (who directed "Human Trafficking," "Lies My Mother Told Me," and many other things you never saw) at the helm. The mini has already been sold to Spain, Germany, and Canada, with a couple of American networks tossing it around like a hot potato.

Oh well, it could be worse, someone could be remaking "Casablanca". Oh, wait.

T&A Matinee: "Private Resort"

Yes, I found this mid-80s Johnny Depp clip while reading this blog. No, I have no idea why I was reading that. The doctor said I should stop because it's bad for my blood pressure.

Today's Independent Film About Hoarding: Posessed

Hoarding is one of the most poorly-understood, yet fascinating mental illnesses, and it's best known not by a celebrity sufferer (Delta Burke may be the most famous) but as "the cat-lady thing." But it's not just cats. In fact, it's usually not animals at all that people hoard. It's stuff they think could possibly be useful at some later time. "Possessed" is a documentary film by Martin Hampton that explores the world of four hoarders, and looks into the hold that their collections have on them:

POSSESSED from Martin Hampton on Vimeo.

Ill-Advised Sequels, Spinoffs, And Adaptations

Tila Tequila and her "Shot At Love" boy broke up already and they're going to make a second "Shot At Love," to go along with fan-favorite contestant Domenico's spinoff dating show. (Reality Blurred and Variety)

The 1927 silent classic "Metropolis," an Expressionist masterpiece about the necessity of cross-class cooperation in society between intellectuals, laborers, and the wealthy, is getting a remake. (Joblo and every other movie-blogger out there.)

Knut the polar bear. In a movie. About global warming. (Defamer)

Big Names And A Bogie Gem Added To Registry

Outside of the occasional college film series, the only place anyone gets to see old movies these days is on their TV, either courtesy of one of the cable channels or via DVD. So I don't think I'm stepping out of line to note that 25 more movies were named to the National Film Registry of the Library of Congress today. And while there are some familiar names on there - "Close Encounters of the Third Kind" and "Back to the Future" - there are also some greats you'll only see in your living room, including "The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance" and these two...

Consider the interrogation scene from Nicholas Ray's noir gem "In A Lonely Place," with the aging Humphrey Bogart as a burned-out screenwriter suspected of murder and Gloria Grahame as his sexy neighbor:

Or consider the car chase from Peter Yates' "Bullitt," which looks tame today, but was filmed without any CGI, and in fact driven in large part by the actors, Steve McQueen being old-school, real-deal movie macho. The shooting, editing and sound design of this chase put you in the driver's seat in a way that today's sfx jockeys can only dream of. Weirdly, though there are several versions of this chase on YouTube, they all end before the flat highway segment and fiery crash that ends things.

Another Reason To Hope The Strike Ends Quickly

An "Arrested Development" movie could be in the works, assuming they can get all the ducks, actors, writers, and producers lined up.

Harold And Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay

I have nothing to say about the following video except "hell yes."

This Christmas, Children Have A New Source Of Poop Jokes

I hate to disagree with The Hater, but I love a good joke about poop. Sadly, "Alvin And The Chipmunks" isn't going to provide any of those. It looks like it's going to be every bit as dreadful as the cartoons were back when they were on the air. And even the bathroom humor isn't funny. Hahaha, poop, get it? Mom, get it? Did you...

Yes, the toy/entertainment franchise that gave children a great excuse to huff helium is back. With it, I'm sure, will be a scourge of child abuse inspired by ceaseless imitations of the poop-eating scene.

"Big Shots" And "Grey's Anatomy" And Mary Kate Linkfest

The Boston Globe says Thursday nights on ABC are filled with wimpy, emasculated men and the not-very-interesting women who rule their lives. Zero-sum game, they say. Boring, they say. "Grey's" is OK, they say, but "Big Shots" is just terrible. Pardon me for saying this, but I told you so.

Best Week Ever has a hilarious spin on "Kitchen Nightmares" - a template for a generic episode full of swearing and insults and incompetence. I love the bit about how the maitre'd has to learn not to punch customers in the genitals. You won't believe how many times that's happened to me at fine-dining establishments.

The same folks point us to a great promo from Showtime featuring clips of Mary-Kate Olsen as Tara on "Weeds." Hilarious. My favorite line is still the bit where she's calling bingo numbers at the old folks' home and says "B-9, like your tumor is benign." Awesome.

Finally, here's a preview for a movie called "Wanted" starring Morgan Freeman and a bunch of good-looking young people. The (safe for work, I promise) SG Newsblog has a review, too, but you can get away with just knowing that there are explosions, car chases, and Morgan Freeman's voice of wisdom.

Teresa Palmer Will Be Wonder Woman (Maybe)

MovieHole is reporting that the new Justice League movie has finally cast someone as Wonder Woman: Australian star Teresa Palmer.  This isn't the first time we've heard rumors about who's going to be Wonder Woman, so I don't know if it's for real. Frankly, one woman I know will be unsatisfied with any choice, since she's been half-convinced she's the real Wonder Woman ever since she got the Underoos when she was a kid.

Palmer is best known to US audiences for her work on The Grudge 2, which isn't exactly a stellar recommendation, but you've got to start somewhere. Here's her personal video diary from filming of that movie:

"Daily Show" Explores Baseball, "Private Practice" Explores Self-Pleasure

Last night on "The Daily Show," Jake Gyllenhaal dropped by to talk up "Rendition," show off his new scruffy beard (it's for his next role), and talk about his beloved, beleaguered Red Sox. He and Jon take most of the time to explore the nature of the friendly rivalry between New York and Boston.

In contrast, tonight on "Private Practice," we have an episode titled "In Which Addison Finds A Showerhead." Yes, it's about masturbation. Addison, apparently, doesn't do it. This explains so much of her idiocy over the past few seasons, it seems like it must have been a character note from the very beginning. I assume that we'll get all the "master of your domain" jokes we've already heard on "Seinfeld" before Addison finally gets around to buying herself one of those fancy adjustable showerheads. (You ever think about the environmental effects of that method? There's a drought on, you know.)

Keanu, Klaatu. Klaatu, Keanu.

We're not the movie blog, but I have to share this one. Variety says that Keanu Reeves will play Klaatu in a remake of "The Day The Earth Stood Still." ... Maybe this is only funny because I live near a whale-watch dock, but Variety also reports that Icelandic producer-director Julian Kemp is "poised to make his comeback" with the horror film "Reykjavik Whale Watching Massacre." It will star Gunnar Hansen, best known as Leatherface in "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre." No word on whether Free Willy is available to play the whale.

He's Jemaine, But Not A Jackson

Most Americans still haven't heard of Jemaine Clement right now, but he has an HBO comedy series getting serious hipster buzz with his buddy in Flight of the Conchords, the surprisingly not Canadian Bret McKenzie. And he's also in the indie comedy "The Eagle and the Shark." Again, not big news here, but back home in the Conchords' native New Zealand, he's bigger news than a fungus on the Sauvignon Blanc vines. Maybe you out to check out this feature from the New Zealand Herald so you can get caught up before the COnchords' Sept. 2 season finale on HBO.

Least Welcome Movie News Of The Day

I didn't know there was a "Lost Boys 2" straight-to-DVD project in the works, 20 years after the mildly entertaining, rather wistful teenaged-boy flick about vampires in a California coastal town. And I didn't know that both Corey Haim and Corey Feldman will drag their bloated, much-abused carcasses back in front of the cameras to be in it. But now I do.

Bill O'Reilly Says "The Bourne Ultimatum" Is A Liberal Plot

Poor Bill O'Reilly. Every day he scrapes closer to the bottom of the barrel in his endless search for hysterical threats to America.Last month, it was lesbian gangs, and now it's Matt Damon. Matt Damon, a threat to America? Oh yes. You see, "The Bourne Ultimatum" portrays the CIA torture program in a negative light.  All patriotic Americans know that torture is totally fine when it's done by American intelligence agencies, but O'Reilly fears that impressionable foreigners might be misled by Damon's propaganda and think that the CIA doesn't have the world's best interests at heart.

The "No Reservations" I Want To See Stars Anthony Bourdain

"No Reservations" is a new movie starring Abigail Breslin as the winsome child who melts icy restaurateur Catherine Zeta-Jones' heart. It's getting mixed reviews. Slate says it's terrible, redeemed only by Abigail Breslin's stellar work, while BuzzSugar says it's actually quite good.

I don't care. The "No Reservations" I want to see is the TV series on the Travel Channel, starring chef/writer/badass Anthony Bourdain. He travels the world in search of the ultimate gastronomic experience, whether that's curry in Rajasthan, noodles in Vietnam, or fermented shark in Iceland. A new season begins Monday, July 30th, with a trip to Shanghai.

Bourdain has spent a lot of time in kitchens all over the world, and it shows in the way he approaches eating and traveling as not just a pastime but a calling. Sure, he's been known to rub a lot of people the wrong way. If he were a doctor, he'd have the bedside manner of one Gregory House. But to be honest, it doesn't bother me at all. He's fun to watch, and seeing him eat inspires me to cook.

"Harry Potter" Star Daniel Radcliffe Turns 18

Today is "Harry Potter" star Daniel Radcliffe's 18th birthday. That means several things: it means that middle-aged ladies all over the world can lust after him without feeling too guilty about it, and it means that he's now legally in control of his forty-million-dollar fortune.

Radcliffe has given several interviews indicating that he's well aware of the dangers of excess and youth, and that he plans to avoid partying too hard, spending too much money, and generally acting like a git. For example, while he's recently purchased a new car, it's an economical (and fuel-efficient) Fiat Punto.

That's a wise course of action, although it does mean that gossip journalists will have to work a little harder. Throw us a bone, Danny! Maybe you could have a punch-up with a photographer, or get drunk and make a pass at the Prime Minister's wife?

The Other Simpson Movie, "Blonde Ambition"

Although people are excited about the launch of "The Simpsons Movie," they're less interested in the Jessica Simpson movie, "Blonde Ambition." ICYDK reports the release has been delayed until August to avoid competition from other, probably better, films. That delay has inspired other gossips like Glitterati and the Daily Blabber to post rumors and leaks about how bad it is, and why. Some say Jessica spent too much time worrying about her relationship troubles with John Mayer, and not enough time learning her lines.

"Ratatouille" Offers Tasty Box Office Numbers...

...is about the only put our friends at BuzzSugar missed in assessing this weekend's surprising movie results. They suggested, "Ratatouille deep fries Die Hard at the box office? Ratatouille slices and dices the competition? Ratatouille gently folds in the ingredients for success?" And really, while the movie's numbers weren't that super on their own, beating "Die Hard" is pretty amazing.

Read all the details at BuzzSugar>>

"Evan Almighty?" Not So Much

"Evan Almighty," starring Steve Carell of "The Office" as a modern-day Noah, looks to be a big box office disappointment. AP points out that the film's $32 million opening weekend take for "Evan Almighty" was less than half that of the original Jim Carrey "Bruce Almighty." Reuters calls it the most expensive comedy ever made" and says it had the season's lowest #1 opening. Nikki Finke has maybe the best set of posts on the history of the "Evan Almighty" opening, including a previous meltdown by the director over the marketing campaign. Televisionista discussed what went wrong.