TV with MeeVee

Upfronts Update: CBS Announces Fall Schedule

CBS has ordered five new series - two comedies and three dramas - toadd to its 18 returning shows. Like the other nets we've seen so far, this is largely a stand-pat schedule shaped by the behind-the-scenes tumult of the writers strike. The biggest change might be the hour of comedy from 8-9 on Wednesdays.

Mondays: "Big Bang Theory," "How I Met Your Mother," "Two and a Half Men," the new comedy "Worst Week" (right) and "CSI Miami."

Tuesdays: "NCIS," the new drama "The Mentalist" and "Without A Trace," which moves from Thursdays.

Wednesdays: "The New Adventures of Old Christine," the new comedy "Project Gary," "Criminal Minds" and "CSI NY."

Thursdays: "Survivor," "CSI" and the new drama "Eleventh Hour."

Fridays: "Ghost Whisperer," the new "The Ex List" and "Numb3rs."

Saturdays: Two hours of "Crimetime" - i.e. repeats - and "48 Hours Mystery."

Sundays: "60 Minutes," "The Amazing Race," "Cold Case" and "The Unit," which moves from Tuesdays.

The announcement also says this: "In addition to the new series for fall, the network announced the pick up of two programs for midseason. The new drama, HARPER'S ISLAND, is a murder mystery that unfolds as friends and family attend week-long festivities at a destination wedding on a secluded and picturesque island off the coast of Seattle, infamous for a homicidal maniac's rampage seven years ago. Also picked up for midseason is the comedy RULES OF ENGAGEMENT." It doesn't say anything, however, about reviving Fox's "Back To You."

For details and pictures of the new shows, keep reading.

"Moonlight" Wanes at CBS

The sun came up on the CBS schedule this afternoon, and crime-solving-vampire drama "Moonlight" is history. Lots of backstage problems may have been the killer for the show, which was at best a so-so ratings performer, despite the loyalty of the brooding-TV-vampire audience.

CBS announces its schedule tomorrow and all the ins and outs are leaking now. As we already told you, "How I Met Your Mother" and "New Adventures of Old Christine" are coming back, but so, amazingly, is the dismal "Rules of Engagement." "The Unit" will also return.

It appears James Woods' "Shark" is gonzo, however.

Britney Is Gone, "How I Met Your Mother" Isn't

Relax, people. "How I Met Your Mother" is coming back, regardless of how lousy Britney Spears was on last night's episode. And she was pretty lousy.

There are several reports that CBS has passed along an official bro handshake to the producers, even though the announcement won't be made till later this week. You have to wonder what the hell took the network so long; supposedly one bigwig just doesn't think the show is funny, unlike every critic in America and a growing cadre of viewers. Because, you know, it's what executives think is funny that makes a show a success or not. Sigh.

I really hope we've seen the last of "Abby," the nutso receptionist played by nutso pop tart Spears. Despite the ratings bump she brought in her cameo a few weeks ago, last night she simply dragged down the show. Compared to the travails of the ever-winning Allyson Hanigan's Lily on the episode, Spears' acting was skit-night-at-rehab bad. Certainly Neil Patrick Harris has been punished enough for saying publicly a couple of weeks ago that he thought the show was doing just fine without this kind of stunt casting; he shared just about every scene with her.

In a semi-related CBS comedy note, lots of folks are surprised about "New Adventures of Old Christine." It was widely expected to move to ABC, but instead CBS reupped it with a full 22-episode order for the season.

Smoke A Morning Rock Of TV News

• Britney and Paris, who's on top? Write your own joke. (TV By The Numbers)
• Ausiello says ABC is once again trying for sloppy seconds, positioning itself to pick up "New Adventures of Old Christine" should CBS not renew. (TV Guide)
• Review of last night's "My Name Is Earl" return. best line: "The sad part is that, all things considered, it's easier to believe that Randy can talk to the Almighty than it is that Paris (Hilton) would read to someone in a coma.(TV Squad)
• Irresponsible speculation on "Smallville" shakeup. (TV Addict)
• Fox boss mocks Silverman: “Was he strapped to a lie detector when he said it?” (Broadcasting & Cable)
• We are all hopeless slaves to the box: the strike didn't cut into our viewing hours much. (Hollywood Reporter)

OK, now here's a video of the Paris Hilton "Earl" cameo: