TV with MeeVee

Upfronts Update: CBS Announces Fall Schedule

CBS has ordered five new series - two comedies and three dramas - toadd to its 18 returning shows. Like the other nets we've seen so far, this is largely a stand-pat schedule shaped by the behind-the-scenes tumult of the writers strike. The biggest change might be the hour of comedy from 8-9 on Wednesdays.

Mondays: "Big Bang Theory," "How I Met Your Mother," "Two and a Half Men," the new comedy "Worst Week" (right) and "CSI Miami."

Tuesdays: "NCIS," the new drama "The Mentalist" and "Without A Trace," which moves from Thursdays.

Wednesdays: "The New Adventures of Old Christine," the new comedy "Project Gary," "Criminal Minds" and "CSI NY."

Thursdays: "Survivor," "CSI" and the new drama "Eleventh Hour."

Fridays: "Ghost Whisperer," the new "The Ex List" and "Numb3rs."

Saturdays: Two hours of "Crimetime" - i.e. repeats - and "48 Hours Mystery."

Sundays: "60 Minutes," "The Amazing Race," "Cold Case" and "The Unit," which moves from Tuesdays.

The announcement also says this: "In addition to the new series for fall, the network announced the pick up of two programs for midseason. The new drama, HARPER'S ISLAND, is a murder mystery that unfolds as friends and family attend week-long festivities at a destination wedding on a secluded and picturesque island off the coast of Seattle, infamous for a homicidal maniac's rampage seven years ago. Also picked up for midseason is the comedy RULES OF ENGAGEMENT." It doesn't say anything, however, about reviving Fox's "Back To You."

For details and pictures of the new shows, keep reading.

A few quick news bites

• Fox scored big with "House" last night, which was second overall in the ratings (behind "Dancing with the Stars") and tops in the 18-49 demo advertisers love. (TV By The Numbers)
• "American Idol" returns with the final three tonight, but Fox can't be too thrilled with last week's numbers. And despite the excellent backstabbing that went on, CBS' "Survivor" finale on Sunday didn't even make the top 10. (AP)
• "The Sopranos" on iTunes. For a price, of course. (Reuters)
• A spoilerrific report on Gary Dourdan's final "CSI" appearance until after rehab on Thursday. (Buddy TV)
• "The Office" last week had the biggest DVR audience seen so far - a whopping 43.4% ratings increase from "live viewing only" to "live + 7 days." (TV By The Numbers)

See you for the American Idol liveblog in a couple of hours!

Weekend Picks, May 10-11

There's not much on Saturday unless you like stock car racing or the NBA. But "Saturday Night Live" should be hipper than usual, with host Shia LaBeouf and musical guest My Morning Jacket.

Just screwing with you again. No "MILF Island" this weekend. But on Sunday CBS does have the two-hour season finale (and the usually lame hourlong "reunion show") for the latest installment of "Survivor." Our money's on Cirie.

 

Celia Weston guests on Sunday's "Desperate Housewives" as Susan's mother-in-law. That oughta be good. I mean, I'll be watching "Family Guy." But still.

Lunchtime Links! Almost As Good As A Nooner!

Big, big Thursday night, lots of news and insights today...

• 
• William Baldwin spills the beans - "Dirty Sexy Money" will move to Thursdays next year. (Televisionista)
• Correctly pointing out what's so much fun about this year's blindside-intensive "Survivor" - Cirie! (TV Squad)
• Detailed exigesis of last night's bedeviling "Lost." (TV Squad)
• Recap of "CSI's" comedy episode. (Buddy TV)
• Ditto "My Name Is Earl," which actually is a comedy. (Buddy TV)
• Dreadlocks Boy talks about getting punted from "American Idol." (TVG)
• A less successful "American Idol" reject gets busted for pervy online chats with kids. (NYDN)
• Univision is a big deal in the ratings, si? (TV By The Numbers)
• Sex scandal at the Weather Channel? Is it legal to use "sex" and "Weather Channel" in the same sentence? (TSG)

Tonight's Picks: Thursday, May 8

Aw, I put "MILF Island" in there just to mess with your head. Actually it's more of "Survivor: Micronesia - Fans Vs. Favorites" tonight on CBS, and I gotta say I'm loving this richly plotted season of jaw-dropping doublecrosses and betrayals. By the end of tonight, we'll have our final four.

Tonight on "CSI," Gil Grissom and the team take on an unfamiliar foe: comedy. Well, sorta. This is the second half of the big writer-swap with "Two And A Half Men," and they'll be investigating the offing of a comedy diva a la Rosanne or Cybill Shepherd. And look for the "TAAHM" guys in an eyeblink cameo.

The season finale of "30 Rock" brings Jack a Washington job that he hates - and Liz a pregnancy scare. Yikes!

Morning Links: Flaming Manholes!

• "American Idol" producer says there's no plan to wax Paula, and hey, it's not just our ratings that are down. (AP)
• But the ratings keep dropping. (Hollywood Reporter)
• Returning "Weeds" is a bit of a conspiratorial production. (Buddy TV)
• Recapping last night's excellent "The Office." Go Stanley! (Buddy TV)
• Ditto "Survivor." (TV Squad)
• Gay wedding on "Brothers & Sisters." (Televisionista)
• More deets on "Gossip Girl's" coming-out story. (Televisionista)
• Lilo visiting "Ugly Betty?" (TV Guide)

And finally, as promised, flaming manholes!! Just because it's funny to say "flaming manholes."

That's Entertainment! "Survivor," "American Idol" Shockers

Holy good TV, Batman! Simultaneous zaps on CBS' "Survivor" and Fox's "American Idol" last night left fans cheering - if not for the outcomes, then for the sheer drama of what happened. On "Survivor," outcast Eliza ended up on the losing end of Ozzy's super-slick maneuver weeks ago, when he found the hidden immunity idol and replaced it with a fake. She stepped up with what she hoped was the real idol to protect her at tribal council and her ass was sent packing. She made game history, alright, just not the way she hoped. Bwahahahahaha! Meanwhile, over in Hollywood, hunky Michael Johns was in the bottom three for the first time ever - he couldn't be the one going home, could he? Could he? Bwahahahahaha! Ok, maybe his fans weren't so happy, but they were screaming. Johns took it like a man, though.

Kick Off Your Weekend With A Few Shooters Of TV News

• I forgot to tell you this morning, but Fox has renewed "King of the Hill" for a 13th season. I'm so sorry, thinking of how different your life would have been if you'd known sooner.
• A recap of last night's "Survivor" with the excellent verb "man crushing," and it doesn't mean what you think. I am really liking this season with all its reverses and backstabbings. (Buddy TV)
• The NY Times isn't known for its wacky headlines, but the paper's TV blog has a good one today: "CSI Returns To Bury Fifth-Grader." (TV Decoder)
• A more serious look at the Thursday numbers, and the results of the Britney-vs.-Paris guest-star derby. (TV By The Numbers)
• Re: "The Office" spin-off, "Don't eff it up, NBC." Well put. (Tifaux)

Morning Reading: Writers Strike, Pacey Returns

• A chart of what shows might make how many more episodes for this season if the strike is resolved soon. And perhaps more interestingly, which shows aren't making any more. Maybe ever. (TV Guide)
• Eyeing the next steps to a signed, sealed, voted on and delivered contract. (Deadline Hollywood Daily)
• Of course, now the studios can worry about an actors strike. (Hollywood Reporter)
• Youth today! (BuzzSugar)
• Pacey's back! In a J.J. Abrams series! (TV Addict and GMMR)
• Why, "Survivor" fans, why in the hell did Johnny Fairplay do that? I didn't even believe that he really has a girlfriend, much less a kid on the way. (Buddy TV)
• Reading the Oscar-show tea leaves. (TV Decoder)

"Survivor" Lunch Lady Says She Didn't Mean To "Mislead," Gives Away Cash

The Fibbin' Food Server of "Survivor: China" said she was sorry today - in one of those really conditional, politician-style apologies. After implying on Sunday's finale that she'd been demoted from lunch lady to janitor at her Massachusetts school because of her participation - and netting a $50,000 gift from producer Mark Burnett to make up for it - Denise Martin now admits it wasn't true. In fact she got promoted to janitor, well before she landed in China with the rest of the castaways.

Sigh.

This morning Martin went on "The Early Show," another CBS venue, to issue her apology. "It was not my intention to be misleading," she said. To which I can only say, then what the hell was your intention?  

A statement issued by the network also pointedly included her taking "full responsibility" for her actions, letting CBS and "Survivor" off the hook for what many people assumed was another bit of drama-pimping from the reality genre. As further proof that the show is stepping in to broom the controversy as quickly as possible now, Martin is donating the cash to Hollywood's favorite charity, the Elizabeth Glaser Pediatric AIDS Foundation, instead of, oh, say, her school. You can almost hear an assistant producer snarling, "Just endorse the back and get the hell out."

Sad to see another somewhat normal person fall victim to the temptations of reality TV - all that attention, all the cash floating around, can have a deranging effect on your average school lunch lady. But that's an explanation, not an excuse.

Mystery Meat Deepens On "Survivor: China"

You know but now not to believe everything you see on reality TV, right? Sunday's "Survivor: China" finale was no exception. Fourth-place finisher Denise Martin told the audience that she'd been demoted from lunch lady to janitor at her school back home because of her "Survivor" notoriety - and the producers gave her $50,000 to make up for it. But today the Boston Globe reports that Martin was actually promoted from her $7+ an hour cafeteria job to $17+ an hour as a janitor - and that happened even before she went off to China.

School officials in rural Douglas, Mass., are kind of stung, especially with all the nasty emails they've been getting from around the world. Martin called her boss to apologize. But no one's hold their breath for "Survivor" to make it right - maybe a check to the school, but a public admission that things got phonied up? Uh, no.

Flight Attendant Is Youngest "Survivor" Winner

The 22-year-old Utah flight attendant Todd Herzog won the $1 million prize on "Survivor: China" last night, beating out fellow alliance members Courtney Yates and Amanda Kimmel in a severe case of craftiness trumping hotness. Recap here.

Producer Mark Burnett was also tossing $50,000 to fourth-place finisher Denise Martin, a Massachusetts school "lunch lady" who lost her job as a result of making the cast. Meatloaf must be served.

In the next "Survivor," beginning in February, the show will return to a more bikini-centric tropical environment in Micronesia. Jeff Probst announced that the installment will feature "Survivor" fans battling previous cast members. No word on whether Herzog will represent for the "China" crew.

CBS Announces Winter (Strike) Schedule

"Jericho" returns to the air Feb. 12 for its fan-inspired, seven-episode, make-or-break mini-season. The execrable "Big Brother" will have - oh joy - its first-ever winter edition. And "Power of 10," "Survivor" and "New Adventures of Old Christine" are among the returning shows with airdates announced by CBS. There's even a new scripted series about the residents of a fabled Hollywood apartment building, called "The Captain," and starring Fran Kranz ("The TV Set"), Chris Klein ("American Pie"), Jeffrey Tambor ("Arrested Development") and Raquel Welch. It airs Mondays after "How I Met Your Mother," beginning Jan. 28, although I'm not sure how many scripts are in the can. The complete press release is after the jump...

MeeVee Video Top 5: Returning Champs--Simpsons, Daily Show, Survivor, and more

Some shows are like old friends with familiar faces.  Granted they'll never you give the honest friend's advice such as, "you in THAT bikini....I don't think so" or "you should dump Karen, she's definitely cheating on you".  Now that we think about, maybe our friends aren't that great after all.  In any case, many of us have grown old with these shows.  They've given us laughter, excitement, and sometimes, for some reason, tears.  We're calling these shows returning champs.  They may not be the longest running shows out there, they're just considered champs in their own respect.

This week Video Top 5 has trivia games for ER and The Simpsons.  Test your knowledge so that maybe you will score high enough to brag on your MySpace page. We also have full episodes and weekly clips from the show that somehow helped make voyeurism cool, Big Brother:  Check out past clips from Jon Stewart and gang on The Daily Show and catch some exclusive clips of Survivor: China.  Finally, we have our YouTube Clip of the Week.  If you haven't seen that obnoxious kid from University of Florida get tasered, you just haven't experienced life.

Fall TV Night-By-Night: Thursday

Only one new show tonight but a considerable amount of new attitude scattered around the schedule, and Sunday night's Emmys could add some more for "Ugly Betty," "Grey's Anatomy," "The Office" and others.

The new show is ABC's "Big Shots," at 10, which delivered a very funny press conference from stars Michael Vartan, Dylan McDermott, Joshua Malina and Christopher Titus, and could be a ratings winner. They're four reasonably powerful and successful guys, but the show follows mainly their romantic and domestic difficulties. It was at least unofficially called "Big Dicks" in the beginning, and seems intended to take a male-centric view of the world. But as it follows the guest-star-laden "Ugly Betty" at 8 and "Grey's Anatomy" at 9, I think ABC is counting on a large number of women sticking with the network to eyeball Vartan and McDermott. Not a bad bet, actually, though I didn't much like the show. All three debut Sept. 27.

CBS stands pat on the night with three dependables: "Survivor" (Sept. 20), "CSI" and "Without a Trace" (both Sept. 27). Not much to report here except A) one has to wonder when the "CSI" juggernaut will cool, and B) "Survivor" is going to China this fall for an inland episode, as seen at left.

MeeVee Video Top 5: Competition - "Survivor: Fiji," "Dancing with the Stars" and more

Great moments of competition in history: Roman gladiators battle in the Colosseum. Jesse Owens' achievements in the 1936 Olympic games. Jordin Sparks wins "American Idol." OK, maybe the last one was a stretch, but competition amongst TV celebs and reality-show stars is a phenomenon that has virtually overtaken television today. During the Roman era, fans' input of either a raised or downward pointed thumb influenced the fate of a gladiator's life. Nowadays, TV competitors fall victim to either a maniacal TV judge or the more anonymous "text decider" in which the amount of text message votes determine a contestant's fate. We truly live in a crazy world!

Our five exclusive videos this week focus on competition.

Check the latest dramatic climax from "Survivor: Fiji." Play the online game of "1 vs. 100." Honestly, do you have anything better to do?  Catch clips of the sister shows "So You Think You Can Dance?" and "Dancing with the Stars." Finally, we have a talented singer/songwriter featured on our YouTube Clip of the Week. Having split personalities has never been so funny!

MeeVee Exclusive! Interview with Marc Burnett, Executive Producer of FOX's On the Lot

[Originally posted 2/9/07]

Recently on the TCA Press Tour, MeeVee’s Steve Czarnecki conversed with English entrepreneur, adventure racing promoter, and television producer Marc Burnett. Here, the creator and executive producer of the hit television series Survivor, The Contender, Eco Challenge, and The Apprentice talks about his next exciting project -- the new FOX show On the Lot, a collaboration with motion picture icon Steven Spielberg.

Pirate Master Contestants Announced: Two Beards?!

CBS has released the list of 16 contestants who will compete against one another in Pirate Master, Survivor producer Mark Burnett's latest reality show. The big news? Only two measly beards in the whole bunch. What kind of pirate show is that?

Luckily, there appear to be a couple of white people with dreadlocks. As everyone knows, white people with dreadlocks are the lowest form of life on Earth, just below club promoters.

According to Burnett, all 16 contestants "knew a lot about the world of pirates and all agree that had they been born 250 years ago, they'd like to have been pirates." Guess what, pansies? There are plenty of pirates still around, and the fact that none of you are among them speaks volumes.

See the Pirate Master contestant profiles at BuddyTV >>

Pirate Master: CBS, Mark Burnett to Make Pirates Uncool

In the beginning, pirates were cool. Then, Jerry Bruckheimer made three movies about them. And they were still cool, sort of.

Now, Survivor / The Apprentice / Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader producer Mark Burnett is turning pirates into a reality show. Will they retain their sea cred?

Pirate Master will premiere Thursday, May 31 (8:00-9:00 PM, ET/PT) on the CBS Television Network. Australian actor Cameron Daddo will host. Pirate Master will send 16 modern-day pirates on a high seas adventure where they will live as buccaneers and travel around the Caribbean island of Dominica in search of hidden treasure that will total $1 million.

Get the rest of the Pirate Master story at The TV Remote>>

Tonight's Picks: Thursday, April 19

My Name is Earl -- Two Balls, Two Strikes
The death of Camden's most powerful citizen -- one Richard Chubby -- brings even nastier Little Chubby (played by the hilarious Norm MacDonald) to town, as the younger man commandeers the family business.

Grey's Anatomy -- Time After Time
George comforts Izzie as she faces her painful past, while Meredith and Derek question their relationship. Quirky Cristina decides to fight for her relationship with Burke, despite her history with Colin Marlow. Three cheers for love triangles and medical emergencies!

Survivor: Fiji -- It's a Turtle?!
The newly merged castaways compete for a reward that includes a feast and overnight stay on a yacht that's moored within sight of the losers back at camp. Oh, now that's cruel! And yes, another contestant is ousted forever.

Survivor: Fiji -- Nobody Saw This Comin'!

Survivor: Fiji
Title: "Are We Gonna Live on Exile Island?"
First Aired: 4/12/07
Oh, you sneaky Survivor producers -- I suppose you’re proud of yourselves this week!  After a half-season of predictable winners and losers with the horrendous haves vs. have-nots scenario, things are finally getting more than a little shocking. Now this is the Survivor we know and love!

Everyone predicted a merge -- and a merge transpired, but not as predicted. I doubt that anyone foresaw an unscripted immunity challenge involving teams (which did not negate the merge), or a spontaneous, no-scheming-allowed tribal council either.

Poor Michelle Yi! She had been skating along under the radar, wisely aligned with Earl and Yau-Man. But she became a target by default, and is the latest Survivor casualty.

Tonight's Picks: Thursday, April 12

Notes from the Underbelly -- Series Premiere
Think pregnancy isn't funny?  Think again! Tune in to this brand-new relationship comedy about a young expectant couple and their friends. In the opener, Lauren and Andrew debate the pros and cons of having a baby, and decide to give it a go. Brave souls, indeed.

30 Rock -- Corporate Crush
Destiny smiles on Liz, who is completely smitten with her new beau Floyd (Jason Sudeikis). Destiny decides to frown on Jack, however, as network honcho Don Geiss (Rip Torn) scrutinizes his performance, putting Jack's job in serious jeopardy.

Survivor: Fiji -- Are We Gonna Live on Exile Island?
Merge, baby, merge!  Two tribes become one, with much hullaballoo on both sides.  With the game dynamics completely in flux, it's hard to predict which castaway will be ousted next.

Survivor: Fiji -- Cry Wolf, Lose Fire

Survivor: Fiji
Title: “So You Think You Can Meke?”
First Aired: 4/5/07
Thank the Survivor gods for small miracles -- Lisi has finally been silenced. When she reaped the benefits on Moto, the girl was a bitching, snobby nuisance. After she was booted to Team Ravu and had a few trips to Exile Island, there was absolutely no limit to her annoying ways. She blamed her team for losing, and never took credit for her limitless inabilities. She consistently teetered on the brink of quitting the game. It was high time that Lisi Linares lost her fire.

Survivor: Fiji -- One Too Many Idols

Survivor: Fiji
Title: “An Evil Thought”
First Aired: 3/29/07
Over the years, there’s been a lot of evil trickery on Survivor. Backstabbing, bold-faced lies, nasty accusations -- the list is long and distinguished. Yau-Man’s decision to replace one of the immunity idols with a dummy object has got to be one of the most genius, diabolical, deliciously deceitful moves yet. That alone is enough reason to stay devoted to this season. Will some poor sap uncover the idol, assuming they’re safe and sound, only to be full on humiliated and ousted?  Man alive, let’s hope so!

In other joyful news, Rocky -- the Ravu sucker who just didn’t know when to shut up -- is outta there. Lest you think you’ve heard the last of his annoying banter, he’s also the first member of the jury. Rocky isn’t exactly silenced, but he’s muffled. It’s still a good day.

Tonight's Picks: Thursday, March 29

This American Life -- My Way
You think you're stubborn?  Indulge in this intriguing study on how stubbornness affects people.  The two bull-headed types include a teenager who vows never to fall in love (not a bad idea), and a politician who insists on running a falsehood-free campaign (all kinds of bad).

Survivor: Fiji -- An Evil Thought
One crafty castaway gets his or her grubby mitts on the coveted immunity idol, and considers putting a fake idol in its place.  Pure, delicious evil!  Lisi struggles to find herself in a tribe of testosterone, and another Survivor bites the dust.

Decoding the Past -- Vampire's Secrets
Are there really vampires among us?  Experts attempt to unravel the truth, focusing on the common threads among the various vampire mythologies.  Cover your neck before watching, and keep garlic handy.

Survivor: Fiji Preview -- Immunity Idol Trickery

Survivor: Fiji
Title: “An Evil Thought”
Air Date: Thursday, March 29 on CBS
If you’ve been a bit bored with the one-sided chaos on Survivor: Fiji this season, take heart -- it’s a whole new backstabbing island adventure. Last week, the teams were reselected, merging enemies and splitting up alliances.  This week, the real throwdown occurs; someone snags the immunity idol.  Earl, Yau-Man, and Lisi have all spent a few glorious moments on Exile Island. Which of them has the chops to unearth the idol... and will they share the glory?

Survivor: Fiji -- Who's Up for a Shake-Up?

Survivor: Fiji
Title: “I’ve Got Strength Now to Carry the Flag”
First Aired: 3/21/07
It’s been almost two weeks since the last Survivor showdown, and everything has changed. This week, the tribes threw down their buffs and started anew, creating brand new Ravu and Moto tribes. Some finally have it all, and some still have nothing. Some (like Rocky) are still throwing tantrums, and one weak little worker bee has no more fire. Anthony is the next to be sent home -- frankly, he dug his own grave. Any wagers on who’s next?

Survivor: Richard Hatch Swears He's a Very Good Boy

Curious what’s become of Survivor  winner Richard Hatch since he had a date with a jail cell?  It may be minimum security, but Richard says he’s still in agony.

Obviously, this is better than the county lockup. There’s no fence here. But people think I’ve come to a country club. It’s not. It’s prison. Just because it’s got a beautiful view of the countryside doesn’t make it a resort.

Sounds as though someone isn’t being allowed to frolic naked and act like a surly freak. Prison must have stricter rules than a deserted island.

Survivor: Fiji -- Preview For Wednesday Night's Tribe Switch!

Sick of the bloodbath that has taken over Survivor: Fiji?  Well, suffer no more -- the next episode promises a shakeup of epic proportions.  Each tribe will be reassigned, throwing some of the "haves" into nightmarish squalor, and some of the "have-nots" into the lap of luxury.  Hooray for freakish surprises!

Survivor: Fiji -- Nobody Likes a Bloodbath

Survivor: Fiji
Title: “Love Many, Trust Few, Do Wrong to None”
First Aired: 3/8/07
All right, that’s it. Whoever dreamed up pitting the haves versus the have-nots on Survivor (Mark Burnett, I’m talking to you), please admit your horrendous mistake, and let’s get back to the show we know and love. This season’s showdown is an absolute nightmare.

Moto can’t stop winning, eating, and gloating about it, which means Ravu can’t stop losing. It’s a disgusting display, bringing out everybody’s bad side, and it’s just not fun to watch. Rita was the latest Ravu victim; a kind-natured woman who just didn’t belong in this increasingly cutthroat environment. At least there’s a wee bit of justice.

Casting Call: Find Love for You and Your Favorite Female Friends

One of Survivor's co-executive producers is looking for an awesome group of female friends who are ready to change their lives forever. City Girls, a new series from www.We.tv, will chronicle the lives of a few exceptional femmes fatales. It’s a real-life Sex and the City, starring YOU!

Tonight's Picks: Thursday, March 8

Grey's Anatomy -- Staring at the Sun
Now that she's actually alive again, Meredith aims for a more rosy life view. And it's a love fest as Derek and Addison aim to be more *yawn* civil while Richard wants to get it on (again) with his wife Adele.

American Idol -- The Week's Results
Four budding hopefuls get the ax, and the top 12 finalists are officially revealed.

Survivor: Fiji -- Love Many, Trust Few, Do Wrong to None
A winner-takes-all reward challenge gives new hope to the skeletors at Ravu, while one of the tribes starts to crumble due to disrespect and childish spats. Two former Exile Island alums put their noggins together and search for the coveted idol -- immunity, not the American variety.

Survivor: Fiji -- A Double Downer

Survivor: Fiji
Title: “Who Can We Afford to Lose?”
First Aired: 3/1/07
Gary, aka Papa Smurf, takes a medical boat as his ticket out of Dodge, and team Moto actually chooses to go to Tribal Council, ousting the strong and overtly flirty Liliana.  Did the Twilight Zone swap places with our beloved Survivor Fiji? 

Tonight's Picks: Thursday, Mar. 1

30 Rock --The Source Awards
Taking a page from Li'l John's Book of Crunk Marketing, Jack uses star power to unload his line of inferior wines on an unsuspecting public. To do so, he enlists none other than the incomparable, insatiable, and incomprehensible Ghostface Killah himself. LL Cool J also makes an appearance, but don’t call it a comeback -- he’s been here for years.

Survivor: Fiji
Gary’s breathing problems from last week have taken a turn for the worse, requiring the assistance of the medical staff and putting his future as a contestant in serious jeopardy. Also, the immunity challenge winners get thrown for a loop with a difficult choice.

American Idol
You heard the top ten guys sing on Tuesday and last night you heard the final ten ladies do the same, only... you know... better. Tonight your votes perform! Tune in watch another four contestants get sent home. Also, Kellie Pickler sings "I Wonder."

Survivor: Fiji -- Mean Architect, Go Home

Survivor: Fiji
Title: "This Isn't Survival...It's 'Thrival'"
First Aired: 2/22/07
Last week, Survivor: Fiji castaway Sylvia narrowly avoided banishment from her adopted Ravu tribe. This week, she couldn’t escape elimination, and showed little effort to save herself. Bye-bye, Sylvia -- we hope it was fun being bossy, detached, and universally disliked.

Poor Team Ravu! They're on a downward spiral of losing and destruction. They have yet to win a challenge, and this episode was no different. Despite showing plenty of heart and the occasional burst of positive energy, the tribe is turning on itself more and more, broken down by lack of food and water. Wimps, all of them! [ahem...]

Tonight's Picks: Thursday, Feb. 22

Survivor: Fiji -- This Isn't Survival... It's "Thrival"
Remember the first season of Survivor, when the contestants actually had to, you know, survive on their own by foraging for food and constructing shelter? No more of that! This week’s show brings you Slip-N-Slides! That’s right -- the iconic, whiplash-inducing summer toy is the central challenge of this episode! 

The Office -- Cocktails
Jan and Michael finally throw open the doors of their forbidden love and shout it from the rooftops! Well, not literally on the rooftops -- more like the middle of a Dunder-Mifflin executive’s cocktail party. 

30 Rock -- Hard Ball
Jack's attempt to save money by not renewing Josh’s expired contract leads to an administrative showdown with Liz. Also, Kenneth the Page lands a spot in Tracy’s posse.  I wonder if that comes with dental and a 401k.

Survivor: Fiji -- You Have Now Entered Bizarro World

Survivor: Fiji
Title: "Snakes Are Misunderstood... We Have an Understanding Now"
First Aired: 2/15/07

Proving that squeaky wheels get the axe, Survivor: Fiji castaway Erica said adios this week, even after finding her tribe a gaggle of pineapples. Let this be a lesson to the remaining castaways: Don’t cause your team to lose the challenge, and keep it cool -- always. Poor Ravu lost their second challenge to Moto, so they continue to live in squalor, even by Survivor standards. Have the tables shifted too far in Moto’s favor?

Tonight's Picks: Thursday, Feb. 15

Survivor: Fiji
From the series that made racial segregation fun again comes a new season, now with class-based discrimination! Challenge winners bask in the lap of luxury, while losers must subsist in grinding poverty!

Ugly Betty -- Derailed
With the future of the company in doubt, and his (new) sister making a play for power, Daniel must turn to an old classmate (Lucy Liu) for assistance. Meanwhile, Jerry O’Connell slides onto Alexis’s radar screen.

30 Rock -- The C Word
Liz becomes a big softie after she hurts Lutz’s feelings and Jack escorts Tracy to a charity golf event in order to get face time with a network exec. Rip Torn guest stars.

Survivor: Fiji -- Never Trust a Reality Show

Survivor: Fiji
Title: "Something Cruel is About to Happen... Real Soon"
First Aired: 2/8/07

Survivor has never been known for fairness, but the show's cruelty reaches an all-time high in Fiji. This season, tribe members aren’t divided by race or gender, but by a too-close-for-comfort division we’re all familiar with: class. Winners live like Trump Tower dreamers, while losers dwell in extreme poverty. This is not your mother’s Survivor.