TV with MeeVee

Tonight's Picks: Monday, March 26

Dancing with the Stars -- Dancing Night
The 11 stars and their esteemed dancers bust out their latest moves in a bid to avoid being the first to be ousted. Can Billy Ray Cyrus possibly rebound? Will Heather Mills continue her fancy footwork? Tune in Tuesday for the eliminations!

The Riches -- Believe the Lie
Once an expert at running from the law, Wayne now fakes his way through a job interview at a law firm. Will impersonating Doug Rich really be the ticket to untold wealth and happiness? Perhaps, if the wife can kick that heroine problem before the neighbors really start talking.

What About Brian -- Season finale
The second season draws to a close as Dave and Deena attempt to escape their sleepy town to renew their wedding vows. Alas, their plans go a little haywire, season finale style. Brian and Adam volunteer to babysit for the love birds, but of course, that goes horrible wrong too when Natasha shows up with a full-on work emergency. Does anyone smell a cliffhanger?

Ellen DeGeneres + Academy Awards = Celebrity Bashing with a Heart

This year’s Academy Awards will be hosted by the ubiquitous and lovable Ellen DeGeneres. Not a bad choice. Ellen’s quick on her feet, not afraid to speak her mind, and will no doubt piss off some people who need to be taken down a notch.

But there's something else Ellen brings to the table -- she truly understands the consequences of leading a very public private life. While Jon Stewart, Chris Rock, David Letterman, and Billy Crystal may not be able to walk into a Wal-Mart without getting mobbed, the details of Ellen’s personal life have been incredibly public for a long time now. As if relationships aren’t hard enough, try coming out on national television while dating another celebrity.

MeeVee's Top Ten Ways To Reinvent the Oscars

In an era with a seemingly never-ending stream of awards shows, it’s pretty natural to get a little bored with the whole format, even the Academy Awards. The acceptance speeches, the musical numbers, and the badly written presenter jokes all start to look and sound the same. Even a well-produced show can be tough to sit through without wanting to take a mallet to your head. So we here at MeeVee have made it our civic duty to come up with a plan to shake up the awards show industry.

Here are MeeVee’s Top Ten Ways To Reinvent the Academy Awards:

10. Random loser gets suitcase full of cash (now more than just “an honor” to be nominated).

Catch the rest of the Top Ten at MeeVee's Academy Awards blog >>

Top Ten Ways to Spice Up the Super Bowl (In Case of a Blowout)

The Super Bowl may be the most hyped sporting event on the planet, but it’s hardly a sure thing that the game will live up to that hype. While we’re sure the Bears and the Colts will try to put on a good show Sunday, it might be time to implement some insurance measures, to make sure the game stays interesting should a blowout occur.

So here are MeeVee’s Top Ten Ways to Spice Up the Super Bowl:

10. Fine each head coach $10,000 per offensive holding penalty. (That might get some emotion out of two famously stoic coaches, Chitown's Lovie Smith and Indy's Tony Dungy.)

MeeVee’s Top Ten Wild TeeVee Predictions For 2007

With the New Year’s unforgiving talons already firmly gripping us, we feel like it’s high time we make some wild predictions about what’s in store for the spring television season. Warning: Don't bet the rent payment on these predictions. These are the long shots -- a wish list, if you will.

So let’s play the “what if” game, and reveal MeeVee’s Top Ten Wild TeeVee Predictions For 2007:

10. Lost -- Jack will finally get it on with Kate, then with Sawyer (we’ve all felt that sexual tension since day one) and finally, Locke (don’t act so surprised).

MeeVee's Exclusive Golden Globe Interview with Ourselves

As the Golden Globes creep closer, fax buzz about who should win is gaining volume. It'€™s getting downright noisy in the halls here at MeeVee -- an inevitable side effect from putting so many opinionated, television-obsessed people in one place! Since all of you can't be here in person, we've decided to share some of our water cooler conversation with you.

Three of our most qualified (read: loudly opinionated) representatives recently sat down to talk turkey about the Golden Globes. Here's what happened when our Managing Editor (Preppypunk) and a chemically unbalanced columnist (Flyingpuck) met with special MeeVee guest/pop culture guru Christy Barnes to dish about Golden Globe predictions, justice, and Patrick Dempsey's hair.

Continue reading "MeeVee's Exclusive Golden Globe Interview with Ourselves" at MeeVee's Golden Globes Go-to Guide

How The Grinch Stole Christmas!: Heartwarming Holiday Tale Or Covert Socialist Propaganda?

We’ve all seen Dr. Seuss’s classic cartoon, How The Grinch Stole Christmas! It’s truly one of the most touching holiday stories around. The Whos in Who-ville represent everything that’s right about Christmas: anti-materialism, sharing with your neighbors, working together, a distinct lack of any visible class system... Wait a minute -- does that sound familiar? That’s right; The Grinch is nothing more than an endorsement of socialism at its theoretical best.

MeeVee Picks the Top Ten TeeVee Christmas Clichés of All Time

The holidays are truly a magical time of year. Trees are decorated, lights are twinkling, children are smiling, and television writers are taking a nice big break from creating new material. Yes, we’ve all noticed that quite a few recycled story lines float around in December.

In fact, a recent scientific study at some highly reputable university or other has determined that there are only ten possible Christmas episode plot lines. See if you can find all ten this season.

10. The crazy last-minute gift adventure. TV was doing this long before Jingle All The Way hit the big screen. Homer Simpson, king of the last-minute gifts, had an adventure in The Simpsons' very first episode. When he didn’t have enough money for presents, Homer tried to win big at the dog track, only to end up flat broke. But he adopted an abandoned racing dog named Santa’s Little Helper, and wwound up scoring a gift that the whole family loved. Awwww.

TeeVee’s Top Ten Lovable Losers: Part Deux

You may have seen our recent list of TeeVee’s Top Ten Lovable Losers of All Time. With too many lovable losers to be contained on a single Top Ten list, so we decided to do a sequel. Without further ado…

Introducing TeeVee’s Top Ten Losers Of All Time: Part Deux!

10. Jan Brady. Witness the torture of being the middle child! Nothing came easily for Jan on The Brady Bunch. She felt invisible no matter how large her bell-bottoms grew. The only time she got the attention she so badly craved was when she screwed up, like that time she rode her bike into the garage and accidentally broke that groovy portrait the kids were going to give mom and dad for their anniversary. Oh, Jan!

NBC Thursdays Enter New Golden Age

Thursday nights are a good time to be alive. With the triumphant return of Scrubs to the Must-See-TV lineup, NBC will be pumping out two hours of the most rock-solid comedy in recent memory. My Name Is Earl, The Office, 30 Rock, and Scrubs is about as good as it gets.

One can’t help but think back to those carefree Thursdays when Cheers was in its prime, or when Friends was still in its infancy. Assuming Scrubs picks up where it left off, viewers will be treated to four wickedly smart comedies in a row. (Okay, maybe Earl isn’t smart. But it’s fun!)

Fall Season Report Card: Heroes Hot, Grey's Not So Much

Now that we’re a few weeks into the fall TV season, it’s high time to take a step back and see whether a few popular shows are living up to expectations. Here’s a healthy dose of honest criticism for four favorite series.

Heroes. This show surprised everyone. Yes, it’s a cheesy, unoriginal concept -- regular people get superpowers through crazy modern science. Still, Heroes nails its tone perfectly. It doesn’t take itself too seriously. It’s a comic book. No logic, no physics -- just one fun, escapist hour every week. Good vs. evil. Luke vs. Vader. Michael J. Fox vs. Rush Limbaugh. It’s a guilty pleasure you don’t have to feel guilty about. Grade: A

Promo Contest Gives Simpsons Fans A Chance To Fulfill Their Destiny

It’s the most wonderful time of the year for Simpsons fanatics: Halloween, when FOX unveils the annual Treehouse Of Horror episode. This year, FOX has upped the ante. A new online contest lets fans edit their own promos for the upcoming "Treehouse Of Horror XVII," which airs November 5.

Through some sort of newfangled technology, viewers can log on here and actually cut together a 30-second promo using clips from the show, plus titles, music, and sound effects. Finally, that semester of film theory you took sophomore year will come in handy.

MySpace and DirectTV Cross-Pollinate Like Bunnies

Welcome to the future of cross-promotion. Satellite television giant DirecTV has teamed up with the hottest URL on the planet to bring us Project MyWorld, a reality show following three MySpacers as they travel the globe to meet their MySpace friends.

The weekly show is the first program (and probably not the last) to capitalize on the global pop-culture phenomenon that is MySpace. Project MyWorld features three hot chicks (think model-hot) looking to follow their unique MySpace dreams. One wants hot guys, one wants adventure, and the other conveniently wants to find really good unsigned bands. Oh, yes, this is kind of a cross-promotional three-way. Television, Internet, and music gettin’ all kinky together. MySpace gets a ton of free advertising, DirecTV gets to tap into the MySpace mega-market (with a cheap reality show at that), and some lucky musicians get the most important thing in the world: exposure.

Why You Should Be Paying More Attention to The Class

The Class has all the makings of a successful show: Great script, great cast, and great performances. After just a few episodes, The Class is already hitting its stride. It may even be the best new sitcom of the fall season. But, there's one problem. No one seems to be watching.

Despite its legendary lead-in, The Class has mysteriously slipped under the radar of Middle America. With rumors of cancellation afoot, we're offering you a crash course on why you should stop drawing on your desk and start paying more attention to this Grade A ensemble-fest.

The Cliffhanger Conundrum

We just love those dramatic cliffhangers. We tune in week-to-week eagerly awaiting the answers to all of our questions, only to find that each answer begs another question (or ten). But, we keep watching, because we’re hooked and we can’t shake the habit.

Lost is the current king of cliffhangers, and tonight on the season premiere we'll find out whether it was worth the wait. As everyone knows, Lost is a great, great show. Great writing, acting, characters, production value, you name it…it’s great. But after two long convoluted seasons, the show may very well be at its tipping point. 

Screech Does Dallas: Dustin Diamond Stars in New Sex Tape

Hard-core Saved By The Bell fans are about find out what hard-core really means. Dustin Diamond (who played the uber-geeky Screech in the stupidly popular show) is reportedly the newest member of the celebrity sex tape club.

Wait… just let that sink in a little.

TeeVee’s Top Ten Lovable Losers Of All Time

They don’t have charm. They don’t have looks. They don’t get many dates. But they do have a special place in our hearts. They’re television’s lovable losers. They make us all feel better about ourselves and sometimes teach those dumb jocks that there’s more to a person than a pair of thick glasses and an overbite.

Tonight, ABC’s Ugly Betty puts the lovable loser at the center of a prime-time show. Can brace-faced Betty succeed in a world that wants winners? Before Betty tromps onto your TV and maybe into your heart, take a look at some television sidekicks who made a living out of losing.

Christmas Comes Early: Every Simpsons Episode Online For Your Viewing Pleasure

Employers beware: There is now a website where fans can view every episode of the Simpsons ever created... for free. So long, productivity. Hello allsimps.com.

There are plenty of websites out there with Simpsons episodes, but this is the first one we’ve found with every episode from every season in one place. Word of the site has been spreading like the plague (you know, that bubonic one), and it offers exactly what it promises. The unapologetically bare-boned site design has nothing but links to the episodes and a few ads. This is for Simpsons geeks who don’t need any bells and whistles. We just want our Homer, stat!

Top Ten TeeVee Catchphrases of All Time

What kind of world would this be without those memorable television catchphrases? Certainly no world I’d want to live in.

Over the years, the boob tube has given us a slew of great catchphrases. They've crept into our hearts and, for at least for a brief moment in time, our vocabulary. Let’s celebrate the ones that have enriched our lives.

The Top Ten TeeVee Catchphrases of All Time
10. “Kiss my grits” – Alice ran from 1976 to 1985 and during those nine seasons Flo, the quintessential waitress character, stuck up for the downtrodden everywhere when she’d tell Mel, her rude and greasy boss, “Mel, kiss my grits!” Tip your waitresses well.

Steve Irwin: These Are Not Crocodile Tears

By now you've probably heard the news. Steve Irwin (aka "The Crocodile Hunter") met his maker Monday when the poisonous barb from a stingray pierced his heart while he was swimming near the Great Barrier Reef. Fittingly, he was filming a show called Ocean's Deadliest at the time, although stingray attacks are rarely known to be fatal.

But instead of dwelling on the tragedy of Irwin's passing (he was only 44), we here at MeeVee are going to celebrate his life and everything he did for the wacky world of animals.

1990: The Year My Parents Finally Got Cable (and How It Changed the Course of My Life Forever)

It wasn’t until I was 16 years old that my parents finally broke down and let us get cable TV. I always thought my sister and I were deprived until then, but I suppose that, from a parenting standpoint, our folks were being responsible or something. Despite being limited to only a handful of channels in my younger years, I managed to watch a lot of TV. Tons, actually. So you can only imagine how adding all those cable channels in 1990 just added to my hours spent studying the boob tube.

Top Ten Reasons to Watch More Television

Let’s just pretend for a minute that you don’t watch enough television. Are you pretending? OK, good.

You know, you should really be watching more television. Shame on you. Maybe you didn’t realize that there are currently exactly ten reasons to watch TV. As luck would have it, we’ve got the list right here...

Apocalypse Soon: Seven Televised Signs The End Is Nigh

Yes, the end is nigh and there are indicators all over the dial (or remote, I guess) the apocalypse is near. Even if you ignore CBS’s heavily symbolic (yet non-Rapture-specific) Jericho coming this fall, there are plenty of unmistakable signs that our days are numbered. I know there have been false ones in the past (a lot of us started stocking up on canned food when Cop Rock premiered), but this time, we think it's for real.

TV with MeeVee's seven certain harbingers of doom:

Strange lights in the sky-- Fake stars abound. Sure, Benjii Schwimmer is a hot-topic now, but he’ll be forgotten at a speed that would make Warhol blush.

Rumors of Wars-- Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie’s feud sure sounds like the beginning of World War III. At least that’s what someone told me. Maybe it’s just a rumor.

Let Us Pay Homage Unto the Unsung, Lovable Sidekick

They rarely get the girl (or guy). They never get their own plotline. Their paychecks also don’t have a lot of zeros on them. They are sitcom’s lovable sidekicks. They steal the occasional scene, provide much-needed comic relief at times, and say the things our main character just can’t say. Let’s celebrate some of the more memorable sidekicks from then and now.

Rhoda Morgenstern--A little before my time, but Rhoda set the bar high for future sidekicks as Mary Tyler Moore’s funny and endearing best friend.  She’s one of the few who even got her own spin-off!

Vinny Delpino--Doogie Howser’s wise-guy buddy. Let’s face it: Doogie could get a little too serious at times. Thank goodness Vinny would climb through the window once in a while and loosen things up.

Top 10 Overlooked Moments in MTV History

By flyingpuck and preppypunk

Several lists have been floating around, highlighting the most memorable moments in MTV's in 25-year history. We couldn't help but notice all the events and shows that were left out, particularly ones from CNN's list.

So, in chronological order, we bring you some lesser-known, but equally important, events that made MTV what it is today.

1. Purple Rain (1984)--With the 1984 release of Prince's Purple Rain, MTV establishes itself as a major media player. Live coverage of the premiere and high video rotation causes album and ticket sales to go through the roof. Co-branding/cross marketing/vertical integration is never the same.
Spawned: Graffiti Bridge, Crossroads, Save the Last Dance (MTV Films)

Shows That Will (and Won’t) Stand the Test of Time

It’s prediction time, couch potatoes. Time to look at the current TV schedule and pick which popular shows, if any, will have enough staying power to stick around for the next five years. Why five years? Because five years is a loooong time to last in this fickle world of television.

To make this a little harder, we’ll ignore well-established shows like The Simpsons and 60 Minutes. We’ll just grab a cross-section of network programs and have at ‘em. Here goes nothing. “Yes” means it’ll be around in five years, “no” means no.

Bugs Bunny vs. South Park

Every so often a concerned parents’ group or a congressman seeking reelection gets all high and mighty about television violence. Animation is always an easy target because young kids are drawn to it like moths to a flame. And when it comes to animated shows, the first name you usually hear is South Park, followed closely by The Family Guy, because they’re oh, so naughty.

News Flash: Watching TV Makes You Dumber… or Maybe Smarter!

There was a day when only a handful of stations (all PBS) were broadcasting anything remotely educational. Now, we have hundreds of channels to choose from, and it’s relatively easy to find some pretty cool stuff that won’t even leave you feeling lobotomized.

But once you’ve tiptoed through the minefield of slop to that promised land of enlightening AND entertaining TV (i.e., much of the fare on Discovery Channel, History Channel, Science Channel, etc.), don’t forget that life is all about balance. Take my advice...

Here We Are… Face to Face: A Silver Spoons Retrospective

You can admit it. You watched Silver Spoons. It’s OK. You’re among friends here.

For five glorious seasons in the 1980s, we all got a glimpse of the good life. You remember the premise: 12-year-old military school cadet Ricky Stratton (Ricky Schroder--Sorry dude, much respect for Lonesome Dove and NYPD Blue, but I just can’t bring myself to call you “Rick”) hits the baby-daddy jackpot and finds out that his real father is childish millionaire Edward Stratton III (Joel Higgins). Jackpot! Here begins their journey together “to learn all about those things you just can’t buy.”

What Homer Simpson Has Taught Me About Life

I sometimes think I take things for granted. I have a roof over my head, iTunes 6.0.5, and some ice cream sandwiches in the freezer. Yep, life is pretty sweet. I also get to watch the modern sage we call Homer Simpson every day (except Saturday—on the sixth day he rested, I guess). I’ve been watching Homer’s every move religiously since I first saw him on the Tracy Ullman Show way back in my formative years. I’ve been a loyal follower of his since that fateful day.

An Open Letter to TiVo, Inc.

Dear TiVo,

When I first heard about your service several years ago, I was skeptical. I didn’t think I needed any help recording my favorite programs. I had a great relationship with my VCR. I told it what to do and it did it. I even made fun of friends who had TiVo, sarcastically calling them...

The Sum of Two Negatives Is a Positive, Right?

I was all ready to rip on the new CW network, a Frankenstein-job of the not-popular--and-soon-to-be-dead UPN and WB networks--but then I took a look at their fall lineup and paused. The CW is CBS’s attempt to make their merger with Warner Bros. work for the TV audience.

The CW's approach to programming seems to be about...

When Advertisers Win

Every so often the planets will align and something very strange will happen: A television commercial will be funnier than the sitcom it’s advertising on. Now hear me out on this. I hate commercials as much as the next guy, but there was one night not too long ago that caused a slight shift in my universe.

Here’s what happened...

Rehearsing for Reality

Back in 1992, it was a much more innocent time for reality television. That was the year that MTV premiered The Real World, ushering in the modern era of non-scripted shows. We’ve come a long way since then, baby. To say that the market is oversaturated with reality shows today is a monumental understatement. Lemmings dive off cliffs when their populations reach levels like this...