TV with MeeVee

Morning Links: Flaming Manholes!

• "American Idol" producer says there's no plan to wax Paula, and hey, it's not just our ratings that are down. (AP)
• But the ratings keep dropping. (Hollywood Reporter)
• Returning "Weeds" is a bit of a conspiratorial production. (Buddy TV)
• Recapping last night's excellent "The Office." Go Stanley! (Buddy TV)
• Ditto "Survivor." (TV Squad)
• Gay wedding on "Brothers & Sisters." (Televisionista)
• More deets on "Gossip Girl's" coming-out story. (Televisionista)
• Lilo visiting "Ugly Betty?" (TV Guide)

And finally, as promised, flaming manholes!! Just because it's funny to say "flaming manholes."

Afternoon Links As We Await The Most Awesome Night Of TV This Season

Let's see, a kickass "Survivor" - unless you prefer "Ugly Betty" or "My Name Is Earl" and "Scrubs" - followed by the first "The Office" since Jim showed us the engagement ring, followed by "30 Rock" - unless you prefer "Grey's Anatomy" or "CSI" - followed by the return of "Lost." All new for the launch of May sweeps! And that's not even mentioning "Without a Trace" or "Smallville" and the return of "Supernatural." Scripted television is back, baybee! On a night like this, that strike seems a distant memory. But we have a few hours to kill first. So here are a couple things to read...

• Roger Friedman says Jimmy Fallon will take over for Conan when Conan takes over for Jay. (Fox News)
• TV Squad says he's talking through his hat. (TV Squad)
• Friedman, by the way, also has some "Weeds" dish that fans won't want to hear, way down in the same column. (Fox News)
• Kathy says she picked the wrong Dunder-Mifflin week to go on vacation. (GMMR)
• An NBC source says, uh, don't worry about seeing O.J. on "The Apprentice." (TMZ.com)
• Another look at the sag in ratings post-strike. (Hollywood Reporter)
• We forgot to link to this yesterday when it was still sorta news, but Showtime has signed "The Tudors" (right) for season three. (AP)

Nancy Botwin Moves South

I've been wondering what will happen to Nancy Botwin (Mary Louise Parker) on "Weeds" now that the town of Agrestic has burned down and her sort-of friend Celia ratted her out to the DEA. Turns out she's moving south to a border town to set up shop with Guillermo. Shane is not going to be happy about moving further from Pittsburgh.

Plus, according to Ausiello, we'll get to meet her estranged father-in-law, who's being played by Albert Brooks of "The Simpsons."

"Weeds" starts its fourth season on Showtime this June.

Mary Louise Parker Dumps Her Dead Husband

Mary Louise Parker (Nancy Botwin on "Weeds") has broken up with her fiancee, Jeffrey Dean Morgan. Morgan is best known for his role on "Grey's Anatomy," but he also plays Nancy's dead husband Judah on "Weeds."

In flashbacks, of course, not as the actual mouldering corpse. This is the second split for the pair (left, in happier times) who broke up back in June before reconciling and getting engaged this year. Word is that they're still going to be friends and everything. Of course.

What gets me is that he plays her dead husband. Does anyone else think it's kind of weird to be dating someone that plays your dead husband on TV? I'm sure professional actors would probably get over it in about thirty seconds, but I'd get anxious spending all that time pretending they were dead.

"Weeds" On DVD And Online

"Weeds" has been the buzzed-about show (pun, of course, intended) for about three years now, so I guess it's about time I started watching it on DVD. I'm not surprised that it's good, but I'm surprised how much I like it. It's basically an edgy sitcom, and I don't usually like sitcoms, because I don't usually like the way pain and social awkwardness get played for laughs. It's just not my thing.

But despite the fact that this is a show where the characters consistently pick the least practical, most absurd way to deal with the world around them, I love it.  Even Kevin Nealon, whom I've never found funny, is absolutely perfect as the burned-out CPA. And of course, Mary Louise Parker is a genius. I can't wait to get to the parts where Mary-Kate Olsen and Snoop Dogg show up.

Fortunately, I don't have to wait long, because the show is available not only on DVD but also online at SHO.com.   Hooray for the Internet!

If you haven't seen the show yet, start here, with Season 1, Episode 1:

Showtime Ready To Spark Up Season Four of "Weeds"

Yay! Showtime announced today it's bringing "Weeds" back for a fourth season, to bow June 16. The comedy about a suburban widow turned pot dealer, starring the great Mary Louise Parker, will return Mondays at 9 with 13 episodes, followed at 9:30 by the similarly dark Britcom "Secret Diary of A Call Girl," featuring "Dr. Who" gal Billie Piper as a legal secretary with a kinky side job. It's a good thing those writers are getting back to work, though. Last time we saw Parker's put-upon suburban anti-heroine Nancy Botwin, her home, greenhouse and town were all burning down in a Cali wildfire started as part of a pot-dealer gang jihad she inadvertently (sort of) started.

"Big Shots" And "Grey's Anatomy" And Mary Kate Linkfest

The Boston Globe says Thursday nights on ABC are filled with wimpy, emasculated men and the not-very-interesting women who rule their lives. Zero-sum game, they say. Boring, they say. "Grey's" is OK, they say, but "Big Shots" is just terrible. Pardon me for saying this, but I told you so.

Best Week Ever has a hilarious spin on "Kitchen Nightmares" - a template for a generic episode full of swearing and insults and incompetence. I love the bit about how the maitre'd has to learn not to punch customers in the genitals. You won't believe how many times that's happened to me at fine-dining establishments.

The same folks point us to a great promo from Showtime featuring clips of Mary-Kate Olsen as Tara on "Weeds." Hilarious. My favorite line is still the bit where she's calling bingo numbers at the old folks' home and says "B-9, like your tumor is benign." Awesome.

Finally, here's a preview for a movie called "Wanted" starring Morgan Freeman and a bunch of good-looking young people. The (safe for work, I promise) SG Newsblog has a review, too, but you can get away with just knowing that there are explosions, car chases, and Morgan Freeman's voice of wisdom.

"Grey's Anatomy" Makes Me Happy And Sad About Brooke Smith

Some saw it coming. But last night's "Grey's Anatomy" made clear that Brooke Smith will be joining the regular cast after a number of guest appearances. That's good news for "Grey's" fans, who probably see the casting of the bisexual (or so we hear) Dr. Hahn as doubling their favorite character's chances of a date on Saturday night. But those of us who are big "Weeds" fans instead - which is to say, me - are disappointed because it probably spells the end of Smith's guest role on that show. As Valerie, the dead DEA agent's first wife (long story), she provided a far more compelling antagonist for Mary Louise Parker's drug-dealing suburban mom Nancy Botwin than any of the gangbangers and other drug-biz types Nancy rubs up against. Valerie could have been a much-needed friend for Nancy, had money not gotten in the way, and there's an underlying affection in ever their harshest encounters that deepens Nancy's guilt. Oh well. At least Smith's happy. She certainly deserves the success, being one of those actors who turns even the smallest role into a living, breathing, multi-dimensional character.

Emmys: Predictions and Liveblog Plans

First, a reminder that I will be taking on the most awesome feat of channel-flippin'-bloggin' in the history of mankind on Sunday night, when the Emmys hit Fox at 8 p.m.

Secondly, a recap of my Emmy picks, the better for you to mock and revile me in the comments on Sunday night...

Best Supporting Actor In A Comedy: This should be a race between Neil Patrick Harris as the sparkplug of "How I Met Your Mother" or Rainn Wilson's insane Dwight on "The Office." If "The Office" rocks, it could be Wilson. But something tells me this is Harris' year.

Best Supporting Actress In A Comedy: I think the real competition here is between Elizabeth Perkins as the imperious, often soused suburban queen Celia on "Weeds" and Jenna Fischer's fantastic but quite subtle performance as Pam on "The Office." Fischer and John Krasinski as Jim are the sane heart of the "Office" madhouse, and he wasn't even nominated, so maybe this is Perkins' year. But I'm hoping Fischer wins. Call it a vote for romance.

The Tanner Kids Are All Growed Up

First we hear that Michelle Tanner is on weed, and now Stephanie is pregnant!  Is it something about being raised by Bob Saget that makes these kids grow up so fast?

Or maybe it's that I failed to notice that Jodie Sweetin, who played Stephanie, is now 25, and married. Probably that. On the plus side, I hear she's kicked that nasty meth habit.

That's Part Of God's Love Too: Mary-Kate On "Weeds"

Mary-Kate may finally have the role that will separate her in our minds from Michelle Tanner. Here's a key early scene:

Massive Morning Reads Breakdown: Something For Everyone

The folks at "Criminal Minds" tell the New York Times that Joe Mantegna is a fantastic replacement for Mandy Patinkin, and the show will be better than ever, and Mantegna was the one they were really serious about offering the part, despite all those reports about Geena Davis and others. Uh huh. ... GMMR mulls bloggers as an avenue for TV publicity. ... Ramblings Of A TV Whore mulls early release of pilots on the Internet, in light of the fact that we won't be seeing "Pushing Daisies" online before the premiere. ... TV Squad breaks down last night's "Damages." ... Televisionista offers up some "Private Practice" spoilers and even better pictures. ... Ausiello sez former "ER" doc Michael Michele will pay a visit to "House" in an episode involving the, gulp, CIA. ... Jerry Lewis sez he's sorry for making a "fag "joke on the MDA telethon. Tut, tut. Maybe time to retire, there, Jer. ... In a move sure to please the soon-to-strike writer's guild and screen actor's guild, HBO has bought the rights to a film shot entirely in Second Life. ... CBS continues to back "Kid Nation," thought there are more bumps in the road, especially lost advertising, according to AdAge.  ... Zac Efron denies a salary dispute over "High School Musical 3." ... Stereogum says The Shins are the latest to record a version of "Little Boxes" for the "Weeds" opening credits, and has a link to a stream. ...

Morning Reads

Excellent recap of Monday's "Weeds" episode at TV Squad. They've finally caught up with the advance DVD and I'm going to have to start paying attention on Monday nights. I skipped "Californication" entirely this week. The Squad also recaps the first half of the season finale of "The Closer." ... Bill Murray "explains" his golf cart drunken driving arrest in Stockholm. ... The question of originality surrounding Fox's "New Amsterdam" keeps coming up. But at least Pete Hamill says he's not going to sue.

"Weeds" Roundup: "Good Morning Agrestic!" Hello Big Ratings! Hello Mary-Kate Olsen!

If the notion of Mary Kate Olsen on "Weeds" intrigues you, here's a look at the first video we've seen of her performance. "The lord wants me to sell pot, Mrs. Botwin." Ahahahahaha!

"Weeds" set a ratings record in its third season debut Monday night, according to Variety, and helped David Duchovny's "Californication" put up numbers better than "Weeds'" season-one bow. No wonder the big honcho at Showtime pronounced himself "psyched." Meanwhile, our friends over at BuzzSugar discovered some comedy shorts with the cast of Showtime's fantabulous "Weeds"  that are posted to YouTube. The phony "Good Morning Agrestic" spot below features a weed-intensive cooking segment with Andy and Silar Botwin (Justin Kirk and Hunter Parrish) plus a brief last-minute weather forecast by Doug Wilson (Kevin Nealon).

Mary Louise Parker May Be A Slytherin

Why does Britney Spears doing a snake dance on stage, and Mary Louise Parker handling a snake in a "Weeds" promo picture seem so, so right? Maybe because one of them isn't a partied-out, pubes-flashing, junk-food-scarfing,  talentless ho, but it's really hard to say. In any case, but I love this story in which Parker talks about working with the big boa. And she is most awesome in this week's season premiere of "Weeds."

High on "Weeds," Not So Much "Californication"

"Weeds" returns to Showtime tonight for a third season, and once again it''s everything good about cable TV and single-camera comedy. Everything very definitely including Mary Louise Parker.

The premiere of David Duchovny's "Californication" follows, but how much you like it will depend on your tolerance for a) the former "X-Files" star and b) self-pitying stories about writers ruined by Hollywood. Or maybe if you're one of those people who spark a doob when they watch "Weeds," "Californication" will seem better than I think it is.

Start with "Weeds." Few shows on TV anywhere make me as happy as this tale of Nancy Botwin, a suddenly widowed suburbanite who turned to pot dealing in season one to keep her family afloat. By season two, the happy buzz of novelty had worn off and Botwin found herself running an increasingly elaborate criminal operation, including growing the weed herself. But the consequences, too, were getting more serious.

"Weeds" Is A Whacked-Out Show

With the third season of "Weeds" premiering next Monday, the cast and creator met the press recently, and one of the prime topics was the hilarious monologue in which Andy Botwin (Justin Kirk) instructs his nephew Shane (Alexander Gould) in the finer points of masturbation. The clip is a viral video favorite, which Kirk said, chuckling, "is pretty exciting. I'm hoping it's being put to use for adolescents all over the country or the world even, maybe."

He said no, he didn't improvise, it was all from the writers. "Luckily, it was the first scene up on Monday morning. So I had the weekend to sort of sit with it. I was sort of fitfully sleeping that night, because I wanted to do it justice. ... We just came in bright and early. And Alexander sat there and stared at me with his crazy eyes, and we did it."

Kirk was asked if he still eats bananas, after demonstrating a rather different use for a banana skin in the scene. "I've always hated bananas," he said. "They are actually my least favorite smell, and the texture I can't handle. So I'm certainly not going to put my dick anywhere near one." And now, the clip:

"Weeds" and "Californication" Previews

USA Today's Pop Candy blog points out a way to watch the first episodes of upcoming Showtime shows "Weeds" and "Californication" online for free -- go to the VIP site and enter the password "MONDAYS." Why Monday? The official debut for both shows is Monday, August 13th.

Just in case you forgot, this is the "Weeds" season that will see Mary-Kate Olsen in ten episodes, playing a nice girl next door... who likes a little dope from time to time.

And yes, that's Mary Louise Parker's naked butt on the left. Ogle all you like.

Naked Mary Lousie Parker In "Weeds" Promo

If you head over to BuzzSugar you can see the amusing headline "Hi! You landed here because of your search for 'Mary Louise Parker Gets Naked.'" And sure enough, there's a picture of Mary Louise Parker wearing nothing but a snake.

Its a promo for the new season of "Weeds," beginning this Monday on Showtime. It's a fun little drama about people dealing a bit of marijuana to get by. OK, maybe more than just a bit. And not to get by, so much as to maintain a comfortable suburban lifestyle. And really, it's not about the dope, but about the compromises that we make, and the lies we tell ourselves and others about who we are. In other words, it's a show about the hypocrisy of contemporary life.

The snake, of course, represents temptation, and the forbidden fruit known to America as cannabis. In addition, it represents the forbidden fruit of Mary Louise Parker. Wow.